everydaygrace
02-27-2011, 08:00 PM
I'm so thankful. DH and just had a great argument/discussion that ended really well. He basically expressed his concern that i wil bulldoze him when it comes to parenting decisions because I've done all this research and i think I'm an expert, but that neither of us have been a parent before and he wants a say in how we raise our children. I've done all this research on ap stuff and gentle discipline and I Think he wants to make sure that I am doing it prayerfully and with discernment.
And I had a chance to tell him that I really believe that God has led us to this way of doing things for our family through leading ME to it I am so excited about it because I believe it is a way of bringing up our children that is God-honoring and Biblical, and not culturally-based like the alternatives we were raised with.
It was a really good conversation and I think created some common ground. We were both able to address some of our fears about raising kids together and how it would affect our marriage. I told him that the way I see it, as a couple, we have always seen things differently than the majority, both in our society and in the church. So why would our views about parenting be any different? :shrug3 That really resonated with him.
He's not ready to say no spanking, but i think he is really coming along in his understanding that there is a toolbox, it's not just a void. And also, he already knew I didn't believe in spanking, but tonight i told him for the first time that I will not be spanking our children. That it is for him to decide whether he keeps that in his toolbox, but it's not in mine.
Also, when we were done, I made an off-handed comment about how it's crazy to me that parents think that CIO is biblical somehow because it is teaching your babies not to be selfish. And, get this, DH says, "like they don't have selfishness in their hearts." and I was like :rockon:heart:clap And I told him how that very concept is a key to understanding GBD, that children aren't the only flawed people you are dealing with in a family, and that parenting has to be approached from that perspective.
Feeling so encouraged about our future as a GBD family!
And I had a chance to tell him that I really believe that God has led us to this way of doing things for our family through leading ME to it I am so excited about it because I believe it is a way of bringing up our children that is God-honoring and Biblical, and not culturally-based like the alternatives we were raised with.
It was a really good conversation and I think created some common ground. We were both able to address some of our fears about raising kids together and how it would affect our marriage. I told him that the way I see it, as a couple, we have always seen things differently than the majority, both in our society and in the church. So why would our views about parenting be any different? :shrug3 That really resonated with him.
He's not ready to say no spanking, but i think he is really coming along in his understanding that there is a toolbox, it's not just a void. And also, he already knew I didn't believe in spanking, but tonight i told him for the first time that I will not be spanking our children. That it is for him to decide whether he keeps that in his toolbox, but it's not in mine.
Also, when we were done, I made an off-handed comment about how it's crazy to me that parents think that CIO is biblical somehow because it is teaching your babies not to be selfish. And, get this, DH says, "like they don't have selfishness in their hearts." and I was like :rockon:heart:clap And I told him how that very concept is a key to understanding GBD, that children aren't the only flawed people you are dealing with in a family, and that parenting has to be approached from that perspective.
Feeling so encouraged about our future as a GBD family!