is this even worth addressing? and how?

[SweetCaroline]

my only daughter is 3.5 she Is in the middle of all the other kids..and to an extent i know this is pretty normal. but the attention seeking is out of control.
for instance, the other day my step mom was over to pick her up, and while stepmom was trying to have a conversation w/ DH and daughter climbed up into DH's lap and started meowing as loud as she could..:rolleyes4
and its basically *that* level of obnoxiousness. so, in front of my stepmom, im not really that worried about it. but when we're with other people and she's doing this stuff- its embarrasing, and rude.
yesterday at the store we ran into a friend from church, and while we were all trying to talk..DD started up loudly (in baby voice) "dada, i want to hold the cheese..i want the cheese!!"
so- developmentally speaking- whats going through her head? what can i say to curb this, in a way she's going to understand?
i know, in the long run this isnt a big deal. but right now..its the height of irritating :shrug3

[bolt.]

It might be a good time to teach her about good manners -- starting with affirming her for good manners that she has (even very basic ones) and building up the desire in her to feel good about her mannerly-ness.

After that, you can add some easier manner skills, just to get into the swing of things and have some feelings of success in learning a new 'manner'.

After that, you can discuss with her how to recognize an adult-to-adult chat, making sure that you tell her when/where such situations are about to occur.

You could do a really step-by-step thing as she gets used to the situation, where you say, "Hon, this is my friend Gladys. I want to stop and chat with her. While I chat I want you to remember good manners about not interrupting. Is there anything you need or want before we start our chat? OK then. If there is anything else you want you will have to wait silently until the chat is over. I will tell you when it is over, so you will know. Thanks hon, it's nice to have such a mannerly child."

[Joanne]

Yes, it is worth addressing.

I'd start with talking to her about the "extra energy in her body" when she's in settings where this happens (usually involving guests is a common pattern). Talk to her about how "that energy" builds and makes her do goofy things - things that are not appropriate and you won't allow.

You might use code words (on my site) to assist with that.

You could also practice "guest" when you know one is coming and walk her through *appropriate* behavior.

Tell her that you'll use a code word that means "stop" and if she doesn't, you'll remove her until she can behave appropriately. It would also help for her to have an active alternative to deal with "extra" energy.

If you want to be even more positive, you can call it "special" energy. :shrug3

[Firebird Rising]

I love what Joanne said. You can definitely address this at that age. It doesn't mean she'll catch on right away, but you're planting seeds.

Jen D.

---------- Post added at 08:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:18 PM ----------

Oh and when in doubt, my recommendation is to remove her from the situation so you can talk to her more directly.

[klpmommy]

It's normal for the age. S is doing similar stuff right now, too.

I get to a stopping point in my conversation to talk to her for a few seconds. She wants me or Daddy and is trying to get our attention. So I fill her love tank quickly and give her a little bit of me. I usually have to follow up with distraction or being playful, but often just acknowledging her is enough.

[NewCovenantMama]

It's normal for the age. S is doing similar stuff right now, too.

I get to a stopping point in my conversation to talk to her for a few seconds. She wants me or Daddy and is trying to get our attention. So I fill her love tank quickly and give her a little bit of me. I usually have to follow up with distraction or being playful, but often just acknowledging her is enough.

I think this is an important flip side to teaching children manners. It sounds to me as if your DD (addressing the OP, not the previous poster) is feeling left out and trying to meet her own need to feel involved in an inappropriate way. Finding ways to address this will help her socially in the long run as well as the short run.

Emma

[Maggirayne]

My 3.5 yo does this occasionally. She also talks a lot and wants to be included, so more often it's that instead of weird noises.

[Beth1231]

I currently have one child (gestating the other) and my 3.5 yr old daughter does this sort of thing also. So I dont' think it's because she is sandwiched between siblings...I think it's the age. That said, it's still annoying and we're teaching her to say "excuse me" and wait for the adult to finish speaking (I find a quick stopping place) and then I thank her for saying excuse me and being patient and give her the attention that she wants. And like Kimberly said, if it's persistent then I make a note to sit down and read books, color, play trains whatever until her "quality time" love tank is filled and she can play contentedly by herself again.