is this a bad idea?

[Chaos Coordinator]

here's an example:

H pulls all of his books off the shelf. then he decides he wants a snack. i tell him he can have his snack after he picks up his books. depending on the size of the mess and how urgent his snack request seems, i may or may not help him clean up the books.


part of me says "we aren't moving on to the next activity until we are done with this one"

but then another part of me screams "you can't use food like that! you'll give him an eating disorder!"

wdyt?

[Kiara.I]

You're not using food.

Standard process "When...then..." :tu
The only reason I would say it wouldn't be good is if he's just too hungry to cope with the world. Other than that? :shrug3 Go for it.

[MarynMunchkins]

At barely 2, I'd give him the snack. You'll get a LOT more cooperation from a fed toddler than a hungry one.

At 4.5/5, you can move more to when/then statments. :)

[Jessica]

At barely 2, I'd give him the snack. You'll get a LOT more cooperation from a fed toddler than a hungry one.


This is my feeling as well. :)

[Chaos Coordinator]

You're not using food.

Standard process "When...then..." :tu
The only reason I would say it wouldn't be good is if he's just too hungry to cope with the world. Other than that? :shrug3 Go for it.


see, i can usually gauge whether its a "i must eat a snack NOW" or a "Hmm what can i do next...an apple sounds good!" kwim? he's a grazer so the eating is non stop and very rarely reaches any degree of urgency.

[Emilyjoy16]

good luck! I don't think I'm super consistent in that area. It depends on the mood of the child and the size of the mess. However, my toddler uses snacks in excess so we're kind of cutting out snacking altogether. But, she's over 3 and understands more.

[Chaos Coordinator]

its working really well. i just wanted to make sure it wasn't some sort of abuse or something.

[MarynMunchkins]

Oh, if he doesn't care, than do it! :yes I can just imagine the meltdown around here, and it wouldn't be worth it. I don't even ask my 10 and 11 yo to clean up on empty stomachs. :giggle

[Aerynne]

This is slightly unrelated, but when I had a ton of books out on shelves my kids can reach, they'd just pull them all off. But if I kept four or five out, they'd just read them. I knew my kids had too many (of whatever) when they didn't use them as intended. When I reigned it in to what seemed to me an unreasonably small number, they'd never just throw them all on the floor.

I know that's not the question you asked, but it might be a helpful tip.

And I have my kids clean up before they eat. Or before they draw. Or before they take a nap. Or before we go to the library. Cleaning up before changing activities is a great behavior to teach! :tu

[Chaos Coordinator]

yaeh i definitely try to stay sensitive to situations with meltdown potential. and go through the HALT thing whenever he's being ridiculous. :tu

---------- Post added at 07:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:16 PM ----------

ooh thanks aerynne (we posted at the same time so it wont let me click thanks) he has a sling bookshelf so the books face cover-out, and i just recently took about HALF of them off and put them in a box in his closet, so the number has been drastically reduced. its probably a 50/50 chance on whether he wants to read a book or just get them all out and stomp on them ;)

[Aerynne]

yaeh i definitely try to stay sensitive to situations with meltdown potential. and go through the HALT thing whenever he's being ridiculous. :tu

---------- Post added at 07:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:16 PM ----------

ooh thanks aerynne (we posted at the same time so it wont let me click thanks) he has a sling bookshelf so the books face cover-out, and i just recently took about HALF of them off and put them in a box in his closet, so the number has been drastically reduced. its probably a 50/50 chance on whether he wants to read a book or just get them all out and stomp on them ;)

I'd say you probably still have too many, then. Some kids can only handle one (in which case you'd probably want to swap it out frequently, or just get out more when you are going to read to him and put them away when you're done).

[Chaos Coordinator]

my house would be really clean if he only had 1 type of each toy available to him at any given time :shifty

---------- Post added at 07:29 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:29 PM ----------

(just saying, thats REALLY appealing to this tired preggo! lol)

[hopeforchange]

I'd say you probably still have too many, then. Some kids can only handle one (in which case you'd probably want to swap it out frequently, or just get out more when you are going to read to him and put them away when you're done).

well i guess that depends on whether or not (general) you care if your dc use the books as only books. :) we have built in bookshelves and my boys have a blast pulling tons of their books off and making a mess on the floor. :giggle lately they've gotten tall enough to reach the next shelf up and have really enjoyed pulling our books off too, lol. i don't mind; they love doing it, and they still like to sit among all the books and be read to. :shrug3

[PrincessAnika]

i do the same thing with dd (18mos) - unless she's really really hungry, and i can usually tell. pick up one toy before getting out the next (thanks to relatives whose christmas presents to her involved multiple play parts ie vtech alphabet train etc), or clean up toys before snack, or before nap/bed, whatever. i don't see it as using food as a reward, i see it as when/then (when this is done you can move on to the next) and teaching ah oh fudge whats the word - finishing what you start instead of starting 30 things and getting nothing done.....yeah, that, lol.