everydaygrace
12-22-2010, 11:27 PM
I don't know where to put this, so feel free.to move it if it's in the wrong place.
I am so thanful for this board. I first came here in the spring of 2005. I was working with inner city kids in an after school program and just feeling at my wits end about those kids. I wanted to really see their hearts change and all the time outs and candy bribes were not working. I didn't feel comfy with them to begin with but it's what had always been done before I was in charge so I just kept it.
I happened to discover blogs around that time, and found tulipgirl, through which I found gcm. I don't know if it was a direct link or if I was just goggling a topic but I found this board. I loved it immediately. I realized that here was another way to handle these little ones. And it was so great to find answers to specific problems.
Through reading the boards And resources I decided I did not want to spank or use timeouts. However, I never really got to the point of understanding the positive discipline to replace it with. I just knew the I wanted to lead my children in a more gracious approach that put their heart change before their behavior change.
Anyway, fast forward 5 years. Now I am married and have a little 6 month old boy. I realized about a month ago when he started reaching for things that it is time to stop focusing on what we are NOT doing, fill the gap, and learn what we are DOING.
Hubby is not fully on board. He is supportive if it works. But I think he will get it eventually. Fortunately we have a little bit of time before discipline will kick in. I think he will get it eventually. Some bathroom reading will help. I just hope he doesn't decide to discuss it with his male Christian friends before he makes up his mind because I could see them influencing him in the wrong direction (though there is nary a child among them).
But all this is a preamble to what I really want to say. Already since joininghis board, and starting to read posts a few weeks ago, lightbulbs--no, fireworks-- have been going off in my head! I have learned so much, so many questions have been answered and I am really starting to get it.
I am nervous because I see that this type of parenting requires so much thought and action. It is so much more intentional. So much more focused on all of our need to change and not just the kids.
My parents were pretty great parents to me, and they spanked sometimes, expected first time o science with a cheerful attitude, engaged in a lot of power struggles, a lot of he typical stuff. They also playfully parented, engaged my heart, talked so I would listen, and really loved me well. Now 15 hrs later they have the chance to do it again with a teenage foster child and another a younger child who will be moving in in a few weeks. They are doing gbd so much more his time and they've never even heard of it! I am so proud of them. Over the years they have shown me some of what not to do, and an awful lot of what do.
I know his post is all over the place. I just had to dump some of the excited thoughts in my head.
---------- Post added at 01:27 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:10 AM ----------
Oh and I also wanted to say: you ladies are so encouraging. I cannot believe how gentle, loving, and helpful you are! What a resource! You are such a great example of what Christians can be. I just love all you suggestions about discipline. I have gone back and looked at YEARS of posts just to really wrap my mind around how all this works and I am just amazed at the ideas you all come Up with. And can I say that not only tone of the board, but also the suggestions seem so much more gentle and gracious, but also truly discipline, than some other "gentle discipline" forums.
This board is truly a gift, to me, and to so many other mamas struggling with these things.
I am so thanful for this board. I first came here in the spring of 2005. I was working with inner city kids in an after school program and just feeling at my wits end about those kids. I wanted to really see their hearts change and all the time outs and candy bribes were not working. I didn't feel comfy with them to begin with but it's what had always been done before I was in charge so I just kept it.
I happened to discover blogs around that time, and found tulipgirl, through which I found gcm. I don't know if it was a direct link or if I was just goggling a topic but I found this board. I loved it immediately. I realized that here was another way to handle these little ones. And it was so great to find answers to specific problems.
Through reading the boards And resources I decided I did not want to spank or use timeouts. However, I never really got to the point of understanding the positive discipline to replace it with. I just knew the I wanted to lead my children in a more gracious approach that put their heart change before their behavior change.
Anyway, fast forward 5 years. Now I am married and have a little 6 month old boy. I realized about a month ago when he started reaching for things that it is time to stop focusing on what we are NOT doing, fill the gap, and learn what we are DOING.
Hubby is not fully on board. He is supportive if it works. But I think he will get it eventually. Fortunately we have a little bit of time before discipline will kick in. I think he will get it eventually. Some bathroom reading will help. I just hope he doesn't decide to discuss it with his male Christian friends before he makes up his mind because I could see them influencing him in the wrong direction (though there is nary a child among them).
But all this is a preamble to what I really want to say. Already since joininghis board, and starting to read posts a few weeks ago, lightbulbs--no, fireworks-- have been going off in my head! I have learned so much, so many questions have been answered and I am really starting to get it.
I am nervous because I see that this type of parenting requires so much thought and action. It is so much more intentional. So much more focused on all of our need to change and not just the kids.
My parents were pretty great parents to me, and they spanked sometimes, expected first time o science with a cheerful attitude, engaged in a lot of power struggles, a lot of he typical stuff. They also playfully parented, engaged my heart, talked so I would listen, and really loved me well. Now 15 hrs later they have the chance to do it again with a teenage foster child and another a younger child who will be moving in in a few weeks. They are doing gbd so much more his time and they've never even heard of it! I am so proud of them. Over the years they have shown me some of what not to do, and an awful lot of what do.
I know his post is all over the place. I just had to dump some of the excited thoughts in my head.
---------- Post added at 01:27 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:10 AM ----------
Oh and I also wanted to say: you ladies are so encouraging. I cannot believe how gentle, loving, and helpful you are! What a resource! You are such a great example of what Christians can be. I just love all you suggestions about discipline. I have gone back and looked at YEARS of posts just to really wrap my mind around how all this works and I am just amazed at the ideas you all come Up with. And can I say that not only tone of the board, but also the suggestions seem so much more gentle and gracious, but also truly discipline, than some other "gentle discipline" forums.
This board is truly a gift, to me, and to so many other mamas struggling with these things.