Facebook..why do i bother?

[SweetCaroline]

this isnt a question.. i guess i just wanted to know if anybody else feels like facebook is hardly worth the stress it usually ends up causing.
someone i sorta-kinda know a little bit made a comment about her son barfing in the car. so, i answered something funny.
well, the next thing i saw is my notifications said she commented after me..well, i go to her page, she deleted my comment AND hers, then put up a new status saying that she's "ready to delete some people"
see what i mean? i have devoted waaaay too much time to this incident today. for pete's sake! i hardly know this chick. why does this bug me so bad?? :hunh
the obvious answer is to just not use fb, or to only speak with ppl i know. but, i've had people i know de-friend me..many times. arg!

[jewelmcjem]

I love FB, but I do have to decide some days it's just not worth it to jump into the fray. And if someone deletes my comment or defriends me, oh well. My GCM friends outnumber by far all my other groups -- and I have over 900 FB contacts. I know who has my back!

---------- Post added at 12:59 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:59 PM ----------

BTW, if I'm not already your FB friend, click FACEBOOK under my siggy and friend me! :)

[KatieMae]

:hug2

Facebook is fun for me b/c I have mostly IRL (church) and GCM friends on it, with a few family members mixed in for, uh, variety :giggle I'm also friends w/ people from school, but if they were offended by me or offended me, it wouldn't be a big deal to un-friend them b/c they simply aren't very important to me. I figure that if I'm friends w/ someone IRL, we must be able to tolerate each other fairly well :shrug3

[YolandaWELS]

Continue to have fun! Delete that contact - people worth it are either not going to care or will just accept your humor.

People who delete posts and/or comments drive me nuts - I remove them.

[Mama Calidad]

I have way too much fun on facebook. :lol

[YolandaWELS]

I have way too much fun on facebook. :lol

yo tambien - I can be more of myself on facebook

I dont know who your friend was, this morning, but I ate a brownie

[MarynMunchkins]

Most of my FB is from GCM. :giggle

The occasional drama makes it interesting, but I love a good debtate. ;)

[KatieMae]

I can be more of myself on facebook

I think THIS is the essence of most Facebook problems. People are less guarded on FB b/c it somehow seems like the anonymous world of the interwebz... except your name & pic are right there and you DO know every person who sees what you write. People have fewer inhibitions and are more transparent. Particularly if you're the kind of person who puts on a different face for different groups of people, that will inevitably show.

[Mama Calidad]

I dont know who your friend was, this morning, but I ate a brownie

:tu This is the friend in question: http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/member.php?u=4895

[YolandaWELS]

yup - that'd be me.....

No work people on my FB ....
I think I have one or two Aunts/Uncles...

I'm suchhhh a jokster off-line. I am horribly written but am super social and adore face-to-face interaction.

---------- Post added at 05:43 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:42 PM ----------

:tu This is the friend in question: http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/member.php?u=4895

she's from GCM!

You guys always look to be having a good time.

[SweetCaroline]

I think THIS is the essence of most Facebook problems. People are less guarded on FB b/c it somehow seems like the anonymous world of the interwebz... except your name & pic are right there and you DO know every person who sees what you write. People have fewer inhibitions and are more transparent. Particularly if you're the kind of person who puts on a different face for different groups of people, that will inevitably show.

i have like everbody from my church on there. even my pastor. and young people. so, im careful about what i say, do, post. i dont look at it as a "no accountability" zone, some people from highschool defriended me when they figured out that im a christian. and thats totally fine.
but, i've beed mysteriously defriended by some people that used to go to my church- and there was no falling out, just something i posted one day rubbed them wrong?
i seem to get into debates with people on there, and it causes me lotsa grief

[J3K]

could it be you're taking the whole thing too seriously ? I defriend people all the time. No particular reason. Just me culling out the "friends" I don't have much in common with.

[Mama Calidad]

could it be you're taking the whole thing too seriously ? I defriend people all the time. No particular reason. Just me culling out the "friends" I don't have much in common with.

:yes I had way more "friends" than I could keep up with before and went de-friend happy. Defriended people who never comment on my stuff not realizing that some of the people I defriended actually payed attention to what I was writing. So, we're friends again, 'cause they let me know. :D

[YolandaWELS]

Thats pretty cool (you are blessed) that people asked / told you because they value your FB-friendship.

If you cut-me off, I swear, Laura.....

I was de-friended by a group of gals because I decided to de-friend a gal who I horribly-walked-in-on while she was cheating on her husband, at a resturant. I wanted noooothingggg to do w/ the situation or her. That day about 8 other gals de-friended me.

Glad to be removed from that circle. :clap

[Mama Calidad]

Well, as far as I know, they just missed having someone insane to watch. :giggle We, on the other hand, are and will always be friends as far as I'm concerned. :heart

[YolandaWELS]

:redheart

[Charlie U]

I have way too much fun on facebook. :lol

:snooty no such thing. I wonder how many RL friends are :headscratch over my unicorn references? :haha

[Mama Calidad]

:snooty no such thing. I wonder how many RL friends are :headscratch over my unicorn references? :haha

I'm not sure all GCMers fully follow sometimes. I think you have to be a certain degree of special. Like us. :yes

[SweetCaroline]

could it be you're taking the whole thing too seriously ? I defriend people all the time. No particular reason. Just me culling out the "friends" I don't have much in common with.

yes..thats probably why its not good for me

[tofufoofoo]

It has caused me so much drama with even some family members. Plus if friends with children post about things like pro-spanking or CIO it makes me upset for awhile, esp. if I am close with them. :(

[Allison]

My GCM friends outnumber by far all my other groups -- and I have over 900 FB contacts. I know who has my back!

---------- Post added at 12:59 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:59 PM ----------



My GCM friends have been the most likely to delete me as a friend. Whassup with that? I'm a little embarassed to admit that it hurt way more to notice that several GCM contacts are no longer contacts than it hurt when people in real life (read: old high school and college friends) are no longer on my friends list.
:pout

---------- Post added at 06:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:46 PM ----------

:yes I had way more "friends" than I could keep up with before and went de-friend happy. Defriended people who never comment on my stuff not realizing that some of the people I defriended actually payed attention to what I was writing. So, we're friends again, 'cause they let me know. :D

And see, this is where my problem may be. If I'm defriended I assume that person isn't interested in me/was offended by me (thought I cannot imagine how since my FB is pretty tame) and I'm not going to write them and tell them how much I miss their page. Even if I do. And for some folks who have defriended me, I do miss them. But if someone doesn't want me, then I definitely don't want them. :snooty

[Rabbit]

FB naming it a friends list instead of a contact list makes for some misunderstandings. Just because you're not my FB friend doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. It means we're not sharing FB. That's it.

I delete people all the time. I add people all the time. I delete my own statuses when I feel like the conversation went too far in a negative direction -or- if I feel like I was just whining and need to get rid of my negativity. I delete comments that rub me the wrong way, or that over-expose parts of my life that are not for FB consumption. I delete comments where people call me Nat. Cause my name is Natalie.

None of that has any reflection on how I feel about people iRL. Just how I feel about text on my wall for all 500+ "friends" to see forever, or having textual relationships with people. Some people just don't make good friends in text, only face to face. Some people can only be friends in text, and NEVER face to face. ;) :P~

[ThreeKids]

So, how does being notified of defriending work? Do you get an email if you're defriended?

I'm wondering if you can't take just not seeing them on your friends list as being individually defriended. Couldn't that mean that they just left FB so everyone's defriended?

Does anyone know if people get notified when you hide them? I've done that a few times over pro-spanking comments and a couple times over people who just post too often. It's not that I don't want to be able to keep up with them, I'd just rather do it when I'm in the mood to. I hope they don't see that because I'm not looking to offend.

[Rabbit]

Nobody gets notified if you defriend or block or leave or just suspend your account for a period of time. You have to be watching your friends list to notice, and you have to know that they're still on FB to figure out that it's just you.

FB has so many bugs that I don't watch my FB list. Friends appear and reappear randomly.

[Allison]

No, there is no notification.

[SweetCaroline]

see, i only have 140 "friends" i dont add people (anymore) that i dont plan on talking to.
so, if i had 139 one day, it'll drive me crazy trying to figure out who it was that deleted me!

BTW: the girl this whole post was about isnt upset with me, it turns out that it was a FB glitch and none of the comments were showing up..i thought she erased my comments, then she said the thing about needing to delete some people..and i just assumed.
see what i mean..waaay too much thought going into this on my part! :-/

[Leslie_JJKs_mom]

I have a group of people that I do not want to offend by deleting them so I hide their status updates from my home page and i have them set to unable to see mine.:shifty

[Mama Calidad]

see, i only have 140 "friends" i dont add people (anymore) that i dont plan on talking to.
so, if i had 139 one day, it'll drive me crazy trying to figure out who it was that deleted me!


But see, facebook is so glitchy. All day yesterday I fluctuated between 209 and 210 friends. Don't ask me why I even look at the number, but it was crazy. :giggle

---------- Post added at 03:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:34 PM ----------

I have a group of people that I do not want to offend by deleting them so I hide their status updates from my home page and i have them set to unable to see mine.:shifty

I have some of those. Like a boy in my sister's class in school. Why did he send me a friend request??? I accepted and put him in a limited profile group and hid him. Odd, I say. Just odd. (And I know odd intimately. :shifty)

[jewelmcjem]

Yeah, I never assume someone's deleted me or my comments. FB's too glitchy, as has been said.

[Synesthesia]

Don't worry. I'm usually to lazy to delete anyone, including the Biker who liked that spanking to keep a child out of jail status and he seems kind of conservative but he did recently get a grandchild so that's nice.

[SamRose]

FB is wut U make it. Some ppl treat it like a msg board, and get into petty stuff and waste their time. Some ppl act like since they're not talking directly to ppl, they can 'say' things they would never have the guts (or audacity) to say IRL, and then it ends up messing up relationships that never woudl have had any tension if it werent for their intenet interactions.
I dont use FB as just another place to chat w/ online contacts. It's for KIT w/ family, friends, and ppl Ive actually had IRL contact with (even if that means we've met up only once or twice, or talked on the phone even tho we never met, etc). That doesnt mean there is never any "drama", since I know ppl who who act totally different online than IRL. (on FB, where they obviously feel safe behind their screen, they will become bold and rude. But IRL they wont speak up for themselves or disagree w/ ppl even politely, or anything like that). But at least I actually know everyone who is seeing wut I choose to share of our daily lives thru status updates, pics, and videos. I have ignored friend requests from ppl who go to my church, since we dont even talk there. If all we've ever done it say hi in passing, U dont need to know my business on FB. :shrug3 I ignore requests from ppl I went to HS w/ if we havent talked since graduation. So I keep my list small and less prone to drama that way, too, by not adding any and everybody who knows me, even IRL.