Teaching Kids reaction level v. situation level

[Happygrl]

I've read many times about teaching kids "This situation is a 2, your reaction is a 9." type of thing. I think this would REALLY help my daughter but either she isn't mature enough to grasp it or I'm doing a terrible job in teaching it. :giggle

If you've used it with your kids, at what age did you start? And how did you explain it?

[tigerlily]

Mind if I :popcorn?

[klpmommy]

joining in on the :popcorn b/c I think E could use this. She doesn't overreact nearly as much as she used to, but when she does it is *strong*.

[AdrienneQW]

I don't know how helpful this would be, but when I worked in a group home for SED tween girls I would have them look at the inside of their wrist and pretend there was a gauge there with ten levels, starting at the bottom with green, progressing through yellow, and ending with red at the top - we called it the control panel. As I was teaching them to recognize their anger triggers and patterns I would have them look at their wrist and envision where the lever was on their control panel... what did their bodies feel like as it went up, and what things helped it to go down?

With some tweaking this could work for younger children - for me, the visual is helpful, as well as the physical reminder. :shrug

[TraceMama]

:popcorn I could definitely use some help in teaching BlueEyes this :yes

[Joanne]

I started as soon as I realized my child needed help with "scale" and did not have an intuitive scale.

I'd say "This situation is a 2. You are reacting at an 8. This is what a "2" reaction is. You may (re)join us when you are ready to have your feelings and not expect us to share them."

[mommylove]

I LOVE this!!

[Vicki_T]

Subbing

[Happygrl]

I started as soon as I realized my child needed help with "scale" and did not have an intuitive scale.

I'd say "This situation is a 2. You are reacting at an 8. This is what a "2" reaction is. You may (re)join us when you are ready to have your feelings and not expect us to share them."

Can I ask how old she(he?) was? How long did it take for them to really understand?

[ReedleBeetle]

:popcorn