looking for advice on consequences

[filmgirl2911]

my almost 2 1/2 year old is in full-blown boundary pushing mode these days. She knows she is not supposed to do something, does it anyway and looks right at me as she does it.

Yes, I get the whole GOYB thing and I'm doing that; but I also have a three-month old who is not gaining weight very well and so I am also having to spend a lot of time focused on feeding her and pumping for supplementing her calorie intake. This makes GOYB a challenge sometimes.

But I also would like to figure out if there are natural consequences for some of the things she is doing because I'm having difficulty figuring that out.

A couple of current challenges:

1. she climbs on / swings on the bassinet that is in the livingroom where I put the baby down when I need to do something quickly. even when I take her off, she is back on it sometimes within seconds / minutes. aside from removing the bassinet (which is inconvenient), what can I do about this behavior?

2. she is into standing on chairs and has started pulling them out from the table to get up on them. Aside from removing her / redirecting her, is there anything I can do about this behavior, especially when I am nursing the baby?

3. she is starting to push / kick / slap at me and her daddy in frustration. what are some of the best ways to address this behavior aside from telling her that we don't do that / gentle touches only?

If you have consequence ideas or script ideas, PLEASE feel free to share them. The days are getting *really* long for me right now :sigh

Thanks for whatever you can offer :heart

[WI Mama05]

First of all, BIG BIG BIG :hug Life is so hard with a toddler and a new baby, add in your feeding things......it is a lot.

She is 2 1/2 She lacks impulse control and a lot of the reasoning skills needed for logical consequences.

Do you have a gate or the capacity to purcase or borrow one? I'm thinking one of those playpen type ones that you could set up around the bassinet to keep her out. She's obviously unable to keep herself off, so you need to set her up for success here and set the physical boundary to keep her out. :hug On that thread, is she getting outside time? My kids LOVED swinging, so maybe taking her out to swing during the day would help satisfy that curiosity?

Chairs are a VERY fun thing for littles :giggle Once they figure out how to pull them out, look out world!!! Can you push the chairs behind the table and push the table against the wall? (or gate off the dining room?) That way she won't be able to get them out and get into the adventures she has in mind. I have had to do this kind of thing with all three of mine (#3 is just starting to figure out how to move the chairs). Heavier chairs I've been successful with just pulling them away from all tables/counters so climbing on them won't cause any issues in the kitchen. Again, you need to help set the scene for success here by removing the trigger. It may be a bit of an inconvience at meal times, but will help you gain sanity during the day.

#3--sounds like she's needing some one-on-one time and opportunites to be physical. Does she get a lot of physical activity during the day? Can dad take her out and run with her or wrestle? Is it possible for you to take a walk with her while baby's with dad? If gentle touch reminders don't help, a gentle bear hug might help or showing her what she *can* hit/pinch/punch might be good? Some people use little punching bags or pillows, but others don't like that train of thought either.....

ETA: I know that you're tired. Being a mom of littles is CONSUMING. I'm thinking more playful parenting might help your DD. Give her more opportunities for "yes" -- move the furniture one day and make her a fort. Find a big box to make her a clubhouse she can play in. (this is messy but....) empty a big bag of rice into a bin for her to play in (they love that kind of thing). When she starts getting physical, start a tickling fight or pillow fight instead. This is my gut feeling.

:hug

[filmgirl2911]

Kim - those are some great suggestions - I'm going to work out which of those ideas will work.

:ty4

[MarynMunchkins]

:hug You need one of these...http://www.amazon.com/Little-Tikes-Swing-Along-Castle/dp/B00005BPPA

Then she could climb and swing on her OWN toy. :giggle

[klpmommy]

:hug2 Kim has good suggestions.

This is the playyard/gate I have. You can also buy extensions. It is really useful and flexible in how it can be used. Right now mine is blocking the bottom of my stairs with ties to the wall.

http://www.amazon.com/North-States-Superyard-Gate-Play/dp/B00020L78M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1277904264&sr=1-1

The one thing that I thought of was that she probably needs more big energy/outside time. Is there a park you can go to that is fairly well sealed off so that she can run around & you can sit with the baby? Or maybe go with a friend who can help you corrall her. If I weren't a million miles away I would do it in a heartbeat.

2.5 is hard. I'm just wrapping up 2.5 with Miss S and while I know 3 is a huge challenge at least I also know that there is a higher level of understanding & self control that just isn't there at 2.5.

[filmgirl2911]

:hug You need one of these...http://www.amazon.com/Little-Tikes-Swing-Along-Castle/dp/B00005BPPA

Then she could climb and swing on her OWN toy. :giggle

Good idea - though we are apartment dwellers :( But, I have been thinking that an indoor trampoline or an indoor climbing idea might help when it's just *too* hot and humid to get outside in the afternoons.

:hug2 Kim has good suggestions.

This is the playyard/gate I have. You can also buy extensions. It is really useful and flexible in how it can be used. Right now mine is blocking the bottom of my stairs with ties to the wall.

http://www.amazon.com/North-States-Superyard-Gate-Play/dp/B00020L78M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1277904264&sr=1-1

The one thing that I thought of was that she probably needs more big energy/outside time. Is there a park you can go to that is fairly well sealed off so that she can run around & you can sit with the baby? Or maybe go with a friend who can help you corrall her. If I weren't a million miles away I would do it in a heartbeat.

2.5 is hard. I'm just wrapping up 2.5 with Miss S and while I know 3 is a huge challenge at least I also know that there is a higher level of understanding & self control that just isn't there at 2.5.

Thanks for the gate suggestion! And for the heart-felt offer that you would help me take my little girl out to a park.

We have a pool here and I am trying to work out how I can take her there (because she *loves* it) and take care of both her and my baby girl. But that's another thread ;)

[klpmommy]

Judith, I have this swimsuit for S and it is great. She can be so independent in it and loves it b/c it is Dora.

http://www.target.com/BIG-TIME-Dora-Float-Suit/dp/B003AJ9K9A/ref=sr_1_26?ie=UTF8&searchView=grid5&qid=1277909505&frombrowse=0&fromGsearch=true&node=1038576%7C1287991011&keywords=swim%20float&searchSize=90&id=BIG%20TIME%20Dora%20Float%20Suit&searchBinNameList=purchasing_channel%2Csubjectbin% 2Cprice%2Ctarget_com_primary_color-bin%2Ctarget_com_size-bin%2Ctarget_com_brand-bin&searchNodeID=1038576%7C1287991011&searchRank=target104545&sr=1-26&searchPage=1&rh=

I don't let her out of my sight & reach, but it allows me to be hands free for R who doesn't like the pool that much so I need to have him in arms. I know there are a lot of different feelings on kids in floation devices in the pool, and I never thought I would use one, but at this point in my family it is a huge blessing & sanity saver.

FWIW, the float suit I have for R I don't like nearly as well.

[Earthmummy07]

We have a pool here and I am trying to work out how I can take her there (because she *loves* it) and take care of both her and my baby girl. But that's another thread ;)

Could you get hold of a waterproof wrap? You have to be aware of the baby's head in relation to the water level, but it would help with being hands free

[filmgirl2911]

Judith, I have this swimsuit for S and it is great. She can be so independent in it and loves it b/c it is Dora.

I don't let her out of my sight & reach, but it allows me to be hands free for R who doesn't like the pool that much so I need to have him in arms. I know there are a lot of different feelings on kids in floation devices in the pool, and I never thought I would use one, but at this point in my family it is a huge blessing & sanity saver.

FWIW, the float suit I have for R I don't like nearly as well.

this might be a good option :think

Could you get hold of a waterproof wrap? You have to be aware of the baby's head in relation to the water level, but it would help with being hands free

I've also considered this option, but am not sure that the water temp would be appropriate for the baby.