Help I just lost it

[SarahH2]

DDs behavior has gotten so bad the last few weeks she is 3 1/2. DH left for training a month ago and I really thought her behavior got worse because she is getting into the horrible 3 stage and because she doesnt understand the feeling she is having about her dad not coming home. Needless to say GD has gotten very tough for me with her. My yelling has gotten bad again because I'm just tired and need a break. I work full time then have to come home to be a full time mom to two kids. I haven't been sleeping well either. Well she is getting very testy. She asked me to help her go potty and I said no because she knows how to do it well she was sitting on the floor on one of my couch pillows and just peed on the pillow and floor. I got so mad that I yanked her up by her arm and just started spanking her butt. I threw her in the bath cleaned up the mess and bathed her. While I was bathing her I was still so mad that I screamed at her telling her things she shouldn't hear not curse words just not nice words. I put her to bed without saying anything else. I'm so ashamed of how I reacted but I just lost control without even thinking about it. I'm so ashamed because she hasn't been spanked in over two months (Im new to this) I cant stop crying.

Please help me get through the next two months that DH will be away I don't want to treat her this way but I don't know how to handle all this alone with no break. By the way we don't live near any family that could help. Any suggestions on how to help her and me?

[Psyche]

I know your spread thin but it sounds like she is needing some connection with you. :hug

[cindergretta]

:hugheart You both have a lot going on. She misses her daddy. You miss her daddy! :shifty I think you guys might need some "time in." Maybe try a little playful parenting, a little extra love, a little extra attention; maybe it might help bring some positive flow to the house.

Since you work full time and your dh is away, she might just be feeling really out-of-sync, kwim? It puts even more pressure on you :( but maybe the extra initial effort will result in her being less "intense." Does that make sense?

I wish you were near some GCMs who could help you out. :hug2

I will pray for you. :pray2

(What does your dh fly? My dad flew Cobras until I was 14. :) I had a t-shirt that read, "My daddy is a helicopter pilot." My folks would tuck it in so it read, "My daddy is a helicopter." :giggle )

[EMama]

I don't really have any suggestions for you, but wanted to send you this :hug2. Try not to feel ashamed or dwell on it (easier said than done I know); we all mess up and do and say things we wish we hadn't. Ask for her forgiveness when she gets up in the morning, and reassure her of your love. :heart

[Sparrow]

:hugheart

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. It's hard working full time and parenting solo full time. Plus, 3 1/2 sure is a great age (note sarcasm).

I agree, it sound like your DD needs some connection time. Even some extra story time, extra cuddles, or a special date can help.

[newday]

oh, sarah, i am saddened for you and your little one. It hurts all the way around, doesn't it :(

Good thing is, you can do this :tu
I'll be praying for you. :hug :pray2

I would start reading the three year old sticky (http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/showthread.php?t=200017) and get a good book on little child discipline which will help center you (just read bits and pieces). Pick a way to connect with your daughter (a way she prefers, change it if she wants to...) Then be prepared for her to give you a lot of big feelings while you give her lots of loving attention and care. You have to believe that she is allowed to act like a sad, frustrated, scared three year old... that will temper all your responses to her.

:hug2

[SarahH2]

:hugheart You both have a lot going on. She misses her daddy. You miss her daddy! :shifty I think you guys might need some "time in." Maybe try a little playful parenting, a little extra love, a little extra attention; maybe it might help bring some positive flow to the house.

Since you work full time and your dh is away, she might just be feeling really out-of-sync, kwim? It puts even more pressure on you :( but maybe the extra initial effort will result in her being less "intense." Does that make sense?

I wish you were near some GCMs who could help you out. :hug2

I will pray for you. :pray2

(What does your dh fly? My dad flew Cobras until I was 14. :) I had a t-shirt that read, "My daddy is a helicopter pilot." My folks would tuck it in so it read, "My daddy is a helicopter." :giggle )

LOL on the shirt, My husband use to fly off shore in the gulf but will now be flying for Customs and Border Pretection.