Clay and Sally Clarkson?

[emerald]

I saw a quote from a book from the Clarkson's on GCM's facebook page. I'm not real familiar with them yet.
I read in a review on amazon that they leaving spanking open? Is this true? They're not totally opposed to spanking?


Related to this, Ross Campbell's books. His older book (how to really love your kids) seems a little unclear on spanking. His newer book (how to really parent your kids) seems more clearly against it. It's similar to other grace based discipline-focusing on connection, and what your child needs instead of reacting to what they do....Has anyone read his books?

[FebFaith]

:popcorn

[Singingmom]

I read most of Clay Clarkson's Heartfelt Discipline. He is gentle and goes through reasons the rod verses aren't meant to be literal, but there is a part where he says if you feel you must spank...and goes on to give some thoughts on safety/respect. The new edition is coming out this year, I think. Sally is big on graceful, relationship-building discipline but I don't think I've heard her say spanking is wrong. I did hear her speak against smacking kids every time they get out of line, and what to do instead. I really like their approach to parenting.

[mommy2abigail]

Their stance is that the bible is neither for nor against spanking. That possibly the rod verses translate to an older 'child' more adult age, and the 'rod' was for serious offenses not for every single little thing. They state that they are a non-spanking family now, even though they did start out spanking when the kids were little.

I believe that the reason why they leave the guidelines there is so that people who read their books and are spanking will have a pathway towards gentle discipline, kwim?

[Strumbelina]

I LOVE the Clarksons! And I agree with the PP that the reason they don't come across as hard-line anti-spanking is so as not to alienate an otherwise receptive audience. :rockon

I know for me personally, I have done that.... alienated my friends with my militant beliefs and then the message is lost on them. Not good, not productive.
I also agree with them about the Bible being 'neutral' as far as spanking goes....I think there is plenty of evidence that supports gentle discipline, don't get me wrong, but let's face it, there is no verse that says, "thou shalt not spank", SO, IMO, I don't think we need to be hard-line militant about it. We can talk about it with grace knowing not everyone is where we are at on the subject. We can uphold our boundaries (ie., not allowing someone to spank their kid in our home or in front of us or our children for instance), and still be graceful towards others. I think the Clarksons have a great balance in all that. I think the Sears' do too. :)

[flowermama]

I've just posted a note on the GCM facebook wall that shares a few thoughts about this book and a quote from the book that I really like. . .
http://www.facebook.com/notes/gentle-christian-mothers/a-few-thoughs-on-the-book-heartfelt-discipline-by-clay-clarkson/395806553025

[Singingmom]

Jeri, for those of us not on FB, would you mind c and p'ing here? I'd love to hear your thoughts. :sillygrin

[flowermama]

Thank you. :hug The link should work for everyone, even those who aren't on facebook. Can you please let me know if the link doesn't work? :heart

[Singingmom]

Oh, it does work! :tu

Thank you, Jeri. :heart

Great thoughts. I think it's an important book for reaching more mainstream parents...I'm so glad they're reprinting it.

[mamajane]

I just got this book through interlibrary loan and am glad to hear good things about it. :)