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Niphredil
05-23-2010, 01:58 PM
Nora bit her cousin, M. A biting war has been going back and forth between them - it's the choice way to hurt each other. M bit Nora pretty badly yesterday and Nora exacted her revenged this afternoon. I just took my eyes off them for a second to towel off Eden, but N very nearly freed a chunk of skin from M's arm. It was a serious bite and very close to an ER trip and stitches. My sister and I were both FURIOUS.

N was sent to her room while we triaged - we had been playing on the slip and slide and everyone was soaked, dripping everywhere and my sister has a 16 day old babe to deal with also. N sat in her room wailing and getting dressed for quite a while as we got every one else situated.

When everything else was handled I went and talked to N. She was still crying, telling me that I scared her when we shouted (my brother shouted at her to stop biting and I told her very firmly and maybe a bit harshly she needed to go to her room and stay there til I came for her). I told her that I'm sorry we scared her and that we needed her to stop and listen right away. I told her that she bit M very badly and M was very badly hurt and she almost had to go to the hospital to be fixed. She, of course, cried because that scared her and because she was tired and hungry from running outside. We talked about how because she hurt M she needed to tell her she was sorry and it would be good to do something nice for M to try to help her feel better. She offered to give her one of her popsicles (which M really likes) and I thought that was reasonable for a three year old version of fixing things. She apologized and gave the popsicle to M and that was that.

I was totally flying by the seat of my pants and am just hoping that I didn't mess anything up too badly. I really did not know what to do. It was more than your typical toddler biting or hitting incident. I'd love feed back to know what better to do next time.

Oh and if you have any thoughts on how to curtail all the dang biting, gah. :crazy2

allisonintx
05-23-2010, 02:01 PM
Seems to me that you handled the situation pretty well, given the crisis nature of it.

I wish I knew a sure fire way to stop the biting all the way around, other than constant hyper-vigilance.

erh384
05-23-2010, 02:04 PM
:hug I'd probably have reacted similarly.

swimming with sharks
05-23-2010, 02:24 PM
:rockon :hug I think you did well. In extreme situations (like you described) us getting loud/yelling points to the serious nature of the incident. :yes It's not an all the time thing but it might help here. ps I'd dose that bite in plenty of breastmilk ~ human mouths are nasty :sick:shifty

Niphredil
05-23-2010, 02:29 PM
ps I'd dose that bite in plenty of breastmilk ~ human mouths are nasty :sick:shifty

I'll be sure to tell her that. I know she was giving her arnica as we left. Poor M, it has to hurt. :(

Thanks for the feedback. Sometimes it's so hard to know what to do in those type of situations. I know she's just three and doesn't get it, it's hard to balance wanting her to understand how serious the situation could have been and what she is mature enough to handle.

chasingbutterflies
05-23-2010, 02:32 PM
I'm by no means a parenting expert, but that sounded pretty good to me, considering the situation. :hug

AngelaVA
05-23-2010, 03:12 PM
I think it sounds like you handled it really well. Do you think they need to spend a bit less time together temporarily?