the answer is practice, not punishment

[Beauty4Ashes]

Our neighbor came over with her 3 dc, ages 9, 5, and 4. Her boys' birthdays are one month after mine. They were returning to their house and all 3 of the kids darted back across the street without looking to see if cars were coming. Neighbor asked how we got our boys to wait before crossing the street. I told her, practice, a lot of practice. Dh said punishment, if they don't do as they are told, they get punished. Um, no. I remember spending many afternoons with my older two holding their hands, counting 1,2,3, and asking if they saw any cars coming. I repeated ad nauseum, You have to hold hands with an adult before you can cross the street. Wash, rinse, repeat. So many of the things that my children are doing now came from practice and training. I want to stay next to me at the store, so EVERY. SINGLE. TIME I insist that they hold onto my hand or the shopping cart or a stroller's handles. I move their hands onto the shopping cart or to my hands. We don't always get it right, but we keep trying.

[abh5e8]

i really like that...and will use it often. practice not punishement. :)

[Karen]

That's we have done here. This is my response to the inevitable you have to spank them if they run out into the road. Um, no you don't. This is also why my dd doesn't run in parking lots. You either hold my hand or your bottom is in a cart. I don't care how much you scream. Freedom was more fun, so she holds my hand.

[Eowyn]

:tu

[Two Little Birds]

So true. Thank you!

[Beauty4Ashes]

I heard the neighbor say that he gave his 5 y.o (almost 6 y/o) son a 2 minute lecture about not running into the street when the bus comes. His son still ran into the street. I wanted to say, maybe he still doesn't get it. Hold his hand or his backpack if he doesn't want to hold your hand. One thing I learned with my kids is that it is not enough to talk/lecture them. I could talk until the cows come home, but if they don't get what I am saying, it's not enough. I have to hold their hand until they have the self control to do it themselves.

[jojola]

Thanks for the pithy saying for something I've really loved discovering. Practice, not punishment. Nice :rockon

[FebFaith]

:heart This was very helpful for me today. Thank you.

[Sunbeam]

:clap Love it!!! Practice, not punishment is a great slogan for so many things in parenting. I'm sure I'll remember this for the rest of my parenting day.

I remember walking with my older boys and practice crossing the road and different times. When a car would be coming I'd ask "Can we cross now? Why? Very good, we need to wait for there to not be any cars because if we ran in the road when a car's coming we could get hurt". So far, so good :phew lol

Yesterday I was out walking with the baby (he's still a crawler at 14 months) and when he'd try to go into the street I'd pick him up and place him back on the sidewalk and we'd keep going. I'd tell him that we need to stay on the sidewalk for safety. I just figure we have to start sometime.