Do you hold an image or archetype?

[Herbwifemama]

Our GCM logo mama up there is pretty darn close to what I hold in my head and my heart as the gentle mama I want to be (but I also have long hair, and frequently wear skirts, so she resembles me a bit too). I was thinking that having an image in my mind of who I want to be can help me react in that image throughout the day. Do you have an image of your perfect gentle mother archetype? Who is she?

Oh, see? She's in my ticker too, looking slightly more hippieish in a sarong. :)

[Marrrg]

I really like the GCM logo mama too! :D

[relizabeth]

Great question!! :heart

I've thought about this A LOT. And the archetype that I actually talked with dh about wanting to emulate, before I ever heard of GCM or gentle parenting was...Albus Dumbledore. He still is. I don't know if I can really articulate why ATM. :bag

[Katigre]

I sometimes visualize an icon of Jesus holding his finger up (it's a Greek Orthodox image I saw years ago). I know the raised finger(s) mean something specific, but in my mind I imagine them as saying "Peace" and it reminds me to focus on Christ and be at peace inside (vs. frustrated/impatient).

[Heather Micaela]

My family often looks like the logo above, but I hold that as more the AP thing. For gentle I hold a few people in my head as GD examples. And they are not perfect either.:)

[Johns_Gal]

Ahem.

<-----

*** Adding now that sleepy boy is out of my lap/off my arm

I know she's not exactly "gentle", being a ferocious carnivore and all. But when I was little, I don't remember anyone ever sticking up for me. I was never protected nor cherished, and I want different for my son. So, she is a reminder to me to be strong and keep him safe from the toxic folks in my life. It's hard, because I still miss those people, but for his sake I have cut them out.


The women in my life are all very weak and would never defend their children from their "man". That was what was modelled for me growing up, and still to this day there isn't one parent in my family who puts their kids first.

My own man is a gentle daddy, but my father is/was NOT. So if little miss lioness, exhausted from birthing and hunting solo, can stick up for her babies, surely I can too. :) It's hard, because due to my upbringing, I am a people pleaser and will often let my own voice be stifled/needs go unmet rather than risk displeasing someone else. I refuse to allow that to affect my DS's safety, though.

Though, it would have been a grizzly if I could have found a good bear/cub pic. I've toyed with the idea of eventually getting a tattoo of either a bear paw or silhouette being surrounded/followed by smaller ones, one for each child I have. Only when they're nearing adulthood though, and only if I've "earned" it.

Gentle mommy, yes I certainly want to be. Simpering and grovelling rather than protect my child, however.... that's a big fat no. ;) It's not automatic for me, but I'm working on it.

[Kiara.I]

I have to say, actually, that GCM logo lady kind of turns me off. :blush Just doesn't seem to suit my style maybe? Which is funny, because I wear t-shirts a lot of the time, and am moving toward skirts...although usually with heels or sandals, only bare feet at home. :)

Plus, I find the "gentle" part of GCM to be a challenge. I'm more of a feisty personality so it can be tough to work on exactly what it means to be "gentle" without trying to be someone I'm not.

Johns_Gal, I like your version. :)

[LeeDee]

I don't have long hair, I'm very large and I never wear skirts. But today, my 3 year old was looking over my shoulder and pointed to the GCM logo and got all excited, "that's YOU, Mummy. Wook, that's you there. And that's my sister, and that's Glenn..." :heart I took it as a huge compliment. The lady in the pic looks so patient and 100% present. I want to be like that.

[Johns_Gal]

Great question!! :heart

I've thought about this A LOT. And the archetype that I actually talked with dh about wanting to emulate, before I ever heard of GCM or gentle parenting was...Albus Dumbledore. He still is. I don't know if I can really articulate why ATM. :bag

I understand. :) Hard to put into words this late though. :lol

[ReedleBeetle]

I picture a peaceful, gentle, Bohemian styled, trendy-ish and very present momma who does her own thing and knows how to be her own person, strong in who she is yet gentle and firm in how she presents it. That is what I want to be...and much skinnier than I am please. ;):lol

[Momma2Luke]

Neat thread!!

Yes, I do have several images that I often hold in my mind... most of them are prints and artwork of Robert Duncan.
Three in particular are: Mother and Son and Lets Sail Away and A Morning Hug.

[Herbwifemama]

I have to say, actually, that GCM logo lady kind of turns me off. :blush Just doesn't seem to suit my style maybe? Which is funny, because I wear t-shirts a lot of the time, and am moving toward skirts...although usually with heels or sandals, only bare feet at home. :)

Plus, I find the "gentle" part of GCM to be a challenge. I'm more of a feisty personality so it can be tough to work on exactly what it means to be "gentle" without trying to be someone I'm not.

Johns_Gal, I like your version. :)

I understand about the gentle- I've always been a strong, determined personality. But that doesn't mean I can't be gentle too. I learned here at GCM that "meek" means "power under control"- I like to remember that- I'm the one with the power, and I must control it to not be abusive. That's meekness, and I think gentleness stems from that.

[relizabeth]

Why Dumbledore is My Parenting Archetype

1. He's not afraid to say he doesn't know, or to learn from his students.
2. He keeps secrets.
3. He commands respect without being stuffy.
4. He challenges his students to experiment and learn for themselves rather than giving out pat answers.
5. He's kind but not treacly.
6. He questions authority even as an authority figure.
7. He doesn't show off his wisdom/experience, he just IS it.
8. He lets his students see his real emotions--ie., doesn't shield them because they're "just children". He relates as a human first.
9. He has a good sense of humor.
10. Despite the beard and wrinkles, he seems very young.

[ArmsOfLove]

first, just fyi, the GCMama IS Jeri :heart That's from a picture of her with her children :)

second, "gentle" doesn't mean passive. Most women who talk to me on the phone or meet me irl are glad to learn that I do not have a docile and passive voice. "Gentle" and "kind" are not the same thing as "pasive" and "nice" (which is really motivated by wanting others to like us rather than kind which is doing the right thing regardless of whether it makes us liked or not )

[Maggie]

I :heart the GCMama b/c I :heart Jeri! :iloveyou

The cool thing about Jeri and the image above is that even though that's (wonderful) her, we don't all have to be just like her to be Christian, gentle, or AP. That's just *her* family. :heart Diversity is good. :grin :heart

[Herbwifemama]

Agreed, Maggie. :yes

That image just happens to resonate with ME. I started the thread, because I was interested in what resonated with the rest of you. :)

I love the mama/cub analogy. And you better believe that I would not hesitate to rip someone apart with my teeth literally, if they tried to hurt my babies. :yes4

Gentle doesn't mean weak, and I would never want to imply that. When I'm trying to be gentle, it's with my own children. (Because apparently, I won't try to rip myself apart with my own teeth... :shifty)

[Maggie]

Sorry, HWM, I didn't really respond to your OP. :O

My gentle mother image? I guess I do have one, but I'm not sure if she really has a certain appearance. I just imagine her gentle hands and kind words and tones, affectionate and affirming, boundaries firm, but kindly conveyed, usually with hands on her children. I want to remember, though, that gentleness in parenting is lived in lots of ways, with playing, even roughhousing, keeping people safe, sometimes saying no, etc.

[KatieMae]

We have this picture in our living room & I really like it for this reason :yes

http://img.allposters.com/6/LRG/15/1507/AM3BD00Z.jpg

[Maggie]

That is so beautiful, Katie! :heart

[DesiringHim]

I think of Mary a lot, and how she must have treated Jesus with such profound gentleness. I see her like this:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_nz4OKyYDOFo/SVX9k-jaabI/AAAAAAAABfg/p3am7GcQHwM/s400/Mary+kissing+baby+jesus,+dark-haired.jpg

There is also another painting of a pregnant woman sitting next her young daughter that has always resonated with me...she just looks so peaceful and tender.

AFA women I've witnessed/known, there was a mom I saw in line at Subway once with her ~ 7/8 yo daughter. The way she had her arms around her, was playing with her hair, etc. struck me very deeply. It's hard to explain but it was a beautiful moment. :heart

[Peridot]

:jawdrop That's BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! :happytears

[ReedleBeetle]

I think of Mary a lot, and how she must have treated Jesus with such profound gentleness. I see her like this:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_nz4OKyYDOFo/SVX9k-jaabI/AAAAAAAABfg/p3am7GcQHwM/s400/Mary+kissing+baby+jesus,+dark-haired.jpg

:heart

Who painted that?! It is GORGEOUS! One of the prettiest paintings of Mary and Jesus I have ever seen!

[Bonnie]

Rose Gumbo. :roll

For those who haven't met her, she's the mother in the "Rose is Rose" comic strip. She's imaginative, connected, struggles to balance motherly anxiety and a desire for her child to spread his wings as far as he can, and has kick-tush alter ego who needs her space and knows how to ask for it.

Recent strips are written by a new guy, and have lost some of their luster for me. But if you can get your hands on an older collection of Pat Brady's Rose is Rose comic strips, they're really encouraging. Think Caillou's family without the whining. :shifty

[Herbwifemama]

I love Rose, and her mom. :)