I have more sympathy for Hoarders

[PurpleButterfly]

Anyone else do this? I watch Hoarders, thinking why on earth can't those folks just tell the clean up crew to dump EVERYTHING into boxes and get it outta there! I mean, it's not like they're going to miss it, right? They don't even know what the heck they have anyway!

So today I determine I'm going to do one of those clean sweep-into-the-donation-box moves on my desk area, which has been so stuffed over the past few years that it is virtually useless except as a storage-to-unknown junk area.

Well PS, three hours later I am still not done clearing out all out! I started coming across love notes from my son when he was a toddler, pictures dd drew when she first learned to hold crayons, cards from my grandmother, photos and earrings...oy veh, you get the picture? It occured to me that this must be what it's like for the Hoarders folks, they know there are treasures within and just can't throw the baby out with the bathwater so to speak.

I NEVER want to let any part of my home or life get in this condition again, it feels awful!

[Heather Micaela]

I have a lot of pity for hoarders but because it hits to close to home, I have a hard time with sympathy. I have watched it tear a family and extended family apart.

But I do watch Clean House in which the people are more normal and I do empathise :yes

[ArmsOfLove]

I have a friend who scans *everything* her children write or draw into the computer. Sometimes she prints them out and laminates them as bookmarks :heart

[April G]

I've decided to start using most of ds' art as wrapping paper. I have BOXES of the stuff.

[ThreeKids]

I could easily be a hoarder.

There's a thought pattern I keep fighting that says, if I throw something out and have to replace it, I'm spending money I needn't have spent and then I figure, if we someday run out of money, that day could have been delayed by not throwing something out. The argument that I'm spending money to maintain stuff doesn't work on me because I've benefited from having spare parts around too many times to buy that argument.

I've kept a worthless microwave in my basement for about a year. It was worthless because the plate was broken and a new one costs more than a used microwave. But, guess what? My mom's same model of microwave just broke down and, voila, I was able to give her a microwave she could use because she had the plate.

As it is, I keep more stuff than I should, but it's within reason.

The thing that reinforces this stuff is that it seems that, as soon as I do throw something out, suddenly I need it. My mom experiences the same thing.

She doesn't drive much anymore so that gives her just one more justification - that she needs everything within reach. She has her own store of stuff in an extra apartment on her property. It's pretty organized, but that doesn't matter because her memory is too poor for her to find anything without searching, anyhow. We have a saying in our family that she spends most of her day looking for stuff and the only thing that will stop her is total fatigue.

I get a dread feeling when I ask for something like baby shampoo and she says, "I know I have some somewhere." That means she will NOT buy any baby shampoo and will look through everything until she finds it and fatiguing herself can exacerbate her health problems. I console myself with the knowlege that, if she weren't looking for baby shampoo, it would just be something else so it's not my fault for asking for baby shampoo.

[ArmsOfLove]

if I throw something out and have to replace it, I'm spending money I needn't have spent

I've started reminding myself, "I already wasted the money. I do not need to keep paying for the guilt of that with my time, space and energy."

and I would really recommend "Too Much Stuff: Decluttering Your Heart And Home"

She wrote it after spending two months cleaning out her mother's home after she died. She had several bottles of her meds for her diabetes and several scripts but she lost them all and died from diabetes complications :( She realized her home was on the way to being the house that her mother was living in, because her house was how she remembered her mother's as a child. It really woke me up to the lies I was believing about stuff.

[Heather Micaela]

I've started reminding myself, "I already wasted the money. I do not need to keep paying for the guilt of that with my time, space and energy."

and I would really recommend "Too Much Stuff: Decluttering Your Heart And Home"

She wrote it after spending two months cleaning out her mother's home after she died. She had several bottles of her meds for her diabetes and several scripts but she lost them all and died from diabetes complications :( She realized her home was on the way to being the house that her mother was living in, because her house was how she remembered her mother's as a child. It really woke me up to the lies I was believing about stuff.:yes

My great uncle was a hoarder and we know that we likely threw treasures away when we moved him into a nursing home.:( Had he had a decluttering habit all along and got rid of all the things he "might need" we would not have had to give up searching and pay someone to do the rest of the dirty work.

And my MIL has that "I may need it" mentality too So she saves bubble wrap and storage containers and clothes that don't fit and everything under the sun. As a result she was spending $400 a month for public storage and eventualyl bought a 5 bedroom house all for her to house her junk. So she pays a mortgage that is too high and gets her food from a food bank because she has no more money. She can't afford to even keep her phone service on. And her most valuable treasures she is still missing (and blaming me for taking) because she still can't find it all. So she has spent way more keeping things she may need or emotionally treasure than she would have to just buy those things new.

While for some there is a mental illness issue that is hard to tackle, there is also a lack of trust in God's provision for borderline hoarders/pack rats.
There is a point where you have trust that even if you have had that thing you need in the past in storage, that stored in your home is not the ONLY place you will be able to find that needed item. That God can easily provide for you in other ways.

Mission Mom taught me this. She had several kids, and when I was torn on throwing out my son's baby clothes after expecting my third girl in a row, she said that by habit she never stored outgrown clothes yet God had always provided the clothing her babies needed.

So with tears I got rid of all but my favorite items. And I had room to put my son's bike in the garage and he could get it out easily. Now I am expecting a boy while my husband is unemployed. And one would think I would say "I should not have gotten rid of them after all." But a freind from church gave me a bag of clothes. And my childhood freind who is expecting a son - a miracle baby after much loss - is giving me bags full of brand new boy stuff because everyone is so thrilled for her she has gotten several times more items than she can handle. :heart

I have been so affected by hoarding that I err on getting rid of too much stuff. But what I have done to find balance is when something COULD be of value later I really think about the cost of keeping it versus the cost of buying new. (And that includes the emotional cost). And then I pray. That keeps me from tossing TOO much. And it keeps boarderline pack ratsfrom keeping too much.
I have also found that regular decluttering allows me to rediscover those treasures and make room to actually give them a place of honor. :heart

[Mother of Sons]

I could have easily become a hoarder. It really does pay off often enough to make saving stuff seem worth it but it felt really good once I really started letting go of things. For me, I just always felt like I could do something with whatever it was so it should be saved so as not to be wasteful but I read in a book recently about how much "things" cost us in time. Now I would rather spend a few dollars to replace something than to have wasted my time on the object (moving it, cleaning it, fixing it etc.)

I have a friend whose mom was a hoarder and I can see a lot of the same tendencies in my friend too.

[mokamoto]

:popcorn. Plan to come back when I have more time.

[Drew]

I don't watch Hoarders but have a ton of stuff in the basement that I am never ever going to need, use, or probably ever look at again. I really should put clearing it out on my to-do list. Except of course I'm sure I won't dump most of it. :shifty

I have a friend who scans *everything* her children write or draw into the computer. Sometimes she prints them out and laminates them as bookmarks :heart

This is a great idea!

[ArmsOfLove]

great point, Heather :yes

I had to accept that just as God brought it to me when I needed it, He will bring it back to me if I need it again and in the meantime I may be preventing God using me to give it to someone who needs it now.

One exception is our boy clothes. But we have had 4 boys in 7 years ;) As the youngest are outgrowing them we are happily passing them all on to others to enjoy :)

The other thing I do is save any one item of clothing here or there if it was a very special item. I have maybe 3 outfits dd has worn and 3 that the boys have worn. They are in their special memory boxes :heart

---------- Post added at 08:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:58 PM ----------

I think it was Watchman Nee who said that when he was needing something that seemed delayed in coming he would pray and then seek his home and find the thing he had excess of. He would pass it on to someone who needed it and within a very short time the thing he needed would be brought by God to him.

That impacted me hugely. And it was after I started major decluttering that we were given a whole household of my dream furniture :heart

[Heather Micaela]

great point, Heather :yes

One exception is our boy clothes. But we have had 4 boys in 7 years ;) As the youngest are outgrowing them we are happily passing them all on to others to enjoy :)



Oh - I *do* save things to use later, but the requirement that I have to know I will or MOST LIKELY will use them in the future. Not "but I might need it someday". So girls clothes are being passed on, but even with a boy on the way I am not saving Joshua's clothes he is currently outgrowing. I am not going to store them for 9 years when someone else can use them now.

I also have unused curriculum I LIKE in storage. I do not have curriculum I was given that I MAY like in the future. (In fact I have a whole set of swtiched on schoolhouse I need to give away). We are getting a new(to us) full sized mattress for the girls and I told dh I refuse to safe the twin. But my king sized headboard is in the garage for abigger house because we already have a king size bed.