Rules about food

[NCmom]

I was reading Sear's Discipline book, and he mentioned that his children were allowed to get snacks whenever they wanted. He knew that there was nothing in the pantry that was bad for them, so if his 2 year old wanted a snack, she could just go get it. Around here, we have had a pretty strict 3 meals 2 snacks kind of routine. No eating when you're not sitting at the table. I give choices, but I need to be the one to get the snack for you and decide what your 2 or 3 choices are. Sometimes I'll let my 5 year old go get himself an apple or something, but that's about it. I'd be afraid they'd just eat cashews all day and then not eat their dinner. Aaaaanyway. I am on the border of having osteoporosis, and so one of the things I am doing is working out with a trainer and trying to gain some muscle weight. She was talking about me needing to eat more throughout the day, and I told her I felt it wasn't fair to be constantly eating in front of the kids because then they would want to eat all the time too. She said kids know when they are hungry, so unless it's junk food, why worry about them wanting to eat frequently during the day. Now that I think of it, all my kids are either in the 10% or not even on the growth chart for weight. That would make sense for my biological children- they could have gotten my small genes. However, our children who were adopted did not come from small families (the parts we know of, anyway). They are still pretty small kids. Now I'm wondering if we need to re-haul our system of eating. Are my kids so small because I'm too strict about food? Should I make a drawer or shelf with snacks on it that they can help themselves to? The thought just makes me cringe.

[Two Little Birds]

I allow good food all day long. I have yogurts and string cheese in the fridge that ds can get to and have fruit out on the counter in grasping reach. I am of the Dr Sears mindset when it come to toddlers eating. So, yes, I would encourage you to create a "snack" drawer or shelf.

[bananacake]

Just curious: what is it about that thought that makes you cringe?

[mamapotomus]

I used to let my 4 y.o. eat whatever he wanted in our house (sometimes he would eat a whole box of cheddar bunnies LOL) However last March our youngest was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and we HAVE to keep a close eye on what and when he eats. So we have had to switch to scheduled meal and snack times, which I am not a fan of personaly.

So yeah I think it would be fine for your kids to snack whenever they felt hungry. Maybe have one drawer for things like crackers or granola bars, a bowl with fruit on the table, and a low shelf in the fridge with cheese, yogurt, and some veggies.

I guess what I'm saying is as long as there is no medical reason to keep the kids from eating let 'em have at it ;)

[Buela]

We have an eating "schedule" or "routine" here. I do believe in eating light and eating often though, so I "schedule" lots of food. Sometimes dd doesn't want a snack :shrug3 and we skip it. Sometimes she is ravenous and I let her eat when it "isn't time". But I do find that offering food at given intervals is good for her. Because there will be times that she just happens to be hungry when she just can't eat (we are out and I don't have food, etc) So I like to anticipate when she should be hungry .
And I don't like her to snack right before a meal, because even if the snack is healthy, I want her to get used to eating "mealtime" foods as much as possible. She's not going to try something new if she's not hungry.

And as for "rules" she can walk around and eat anything as long as it isn't something messy, except at mealtimes when we must sit and eat as a family :heart

[NCmom]

I envision them filling up on just one type of food and then not getting a balanced diet (like that happens anyway- they still only really eat what they want:sigh) I envision them wasting food- pulling out food that they only eat part of, then me having to try to salvage what is left so that it can be eaten later. I am afraid food will be all over the floor. I guess I could tell them they have to take their food to the table and eat it there if they really want it, but I keep thinking they'll forget that and go drag it onto the couch anyway. But mostly I'm afraid they'll eat just one thing all day and that by mealtime they won't be hungry enough to try eating stuff they don't prefer.

---------- Post added at 03:45 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:41 PM ----------

And I don't like her to snack right before a meal, because even if the snack is healthy, I want her to get used to eating "mealtime" foods as much as possible. She's not going to try something new if she's not hungry.

Yeah, that.

[DoulaClara]

:no I don't think your kids are so small because of your eating habits. If you only did a couple of meals a day, then maybe.

The best part about daily snacking is that you actually are in charge of their variety- the way to do that is to set out certain specific things in an area that they know is free access to them. Everything else gets put completely away, out of their sight and mind. So for example, I have a square container that I use for snacks for Gianna, and I load it with things like: slices of orange, half a banana, slices of cheese, raisins, cheddar bunnies... I change things up throughout the week because even if she adores raisins and cheddar bunnies on Monday, doesn't mean she'll feel like eating them by Wednesday. Our house is pretty chilly, so cheese out throughout the day isn't a huge issue, but if your house is warmer than 60 degrees, you might want to designate a basket in the fridge.
I do stop snacks around 3:30-ish, so that she has a better appetite for dinner. It works well for us!

Good luck! Want ideas?

[Marzipan]

You could make a "no snacks within 45 minutes of a meal" and an "all snacks must be eaten in the kitchen" rule. And they will forget. And you will clean up messes. But it will help them learn to self regulate, and they will get to where they remember more often than not that they have to keep it in the kitchen, and even if, at 5 years old, your child is still only eating certain things at dinner, that doesn't mean that he will grow up and only eat those same things. They don't have to be an adventerous eaters at 5 and 4 (and 2 and 1) to grow up to have a healthy and varied diet. :hug

[AngelaVA]

Our rules aren't quite as loose as the Sear's but generally snacks are allowed when requested. No snacks while I'm preparing dinner, if you want a snack before a meal is entirely cleaned up you need to go back and eat more. I offer her 2 choices when she asks for a snack. Sometimes she asks for something specific and I think about what she's eaten so far that day before I answer. My main thing is I don't want her eating carbs all day, even if it's fruit and whole grains, she needs fats and protein, and if I just let her always pick it would be mostly crackers and fruit and pasta. Her eating does usually fall into a pattern of breakfast, early lunch, after resttime snack, dinner, bedtime snack BUT if she asks for more or less food that is fine.

[Apple-Saucy]

Snacks are allowed anytime here as long as it's not within an hour of dinner (if they are literally falling over themselves with hunger then I offer a beverage to fill the corners)

My kids are pretty average in size...they typically don't overeat (except when it comes to pizza :giggle )

Food was tightly controlled growing up...during my teen years there were padlocks on the fridge and pantry doors. :mad

I think that is where my disordered eating began. I would gorge when food was readily available because chances were I wouldn't eat again for days.

[hey mommy]

We don't have scheduled times to eat. We eat when we're hungry. Kids & adults. C does have to ask for snacks b/c if he didn't he would eat nothing but crackers or junk all day, but the older he gets, the less he has to ask. We are encouraging him to be a bit more self-sufficient & get his own and teaching him to make good choices.

And he's small anyway, so the extra calories aren't going to hurt him any. He needs them.
Oh, and all food must be eaten at the table.

[HappyHeart]

We're a "snacks-available-all-day-long" kind of house. DH is a type I diabetic and I had issues with food growing up. We took several nutrition classes and learned that kids snacking often and "on demand" actually helps their body learn when to say when (think of how breastfeeding works). They are less likely to have problems with over-eating in the future.

A few times a week, I will cut up oranges & apples & put them in a container in the fridge (the oranges keep the apples from browning) or pull & wash grapes, and we almost always have bananas. I also keep some canned fruits available (not as healthy as fresh - I know - but they are good if I haven't been able to get to the grocery store). I cut up carrot sticks - but most veggies come from meals as our kids prefer them cooked. We have yogurt, cheese sticks or cheese slices, and crackers.

Once in a while, DD will get on a carb or protein "kick" - but it doesn't usually last more than a few days and she will still eat a variety at meals.

The only thing we "limit" is juice and sweets. Max of one juice box a day (though - they barely drink more than 2 a week). We keep sweets (usually leftover from a birthday party pinata or some treat grandparents send) in a certain cabinet. The kids can have one small piece a day at any time they wish. Once it's gone - it's gone. I do have a cabinet where "prepackaged-only-in-the-back-pack-on-the-go" foods are and the kids are not allowed to munch on that at home.

Since our meals are at fairly predictable times, there really hasn't been much issue with them wanting a snack shortly before dinner unless we are running late. If that's the case, I encourage them to keep the snack small and try to hold out so we can eat together as a family. :D

[Amber]

We fall into the snack available when requested camp. Usually I only refuse snacks just before meal time. If they ask for a snack just after a meal I encourage them to eat more of their meal. Occasionally if it seems like they are eating out of boredom I will encourage them to go play for a while, if they come back a little later asking for snacks I give them one.

I can't leave snacks out for my kids to choose when hungry because my dog steals food of the counter :bag I also "rotate" the types of snacks they can have, it usually ends up that they can only have one of each type of snack a day. So one apple, one banana, one less than healthy snack, etc. My kids accept it pretty easily when I tell them "you already had a cheese stick, you need to pick a different snack".

[dukeofhazzard]

We allow snacks anytime unless I'm currently making a meal (or about to get up and start :giggle). What I like is that it gives them some autonomy over their bodies, and making the snacks themselves teaches them some skills and promotes a healthy independence. :yes

(plus, I don't have to run into the kitchen when they're hungry:giggle I just remind them that they know where the snacks are)

---------- Post added at 05:37 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:36 PM ----------

I also "rotate" the types of snacks they can have, it usually ends up that they can only have one of each type of snack a day. So one apple, one banana, one less than healthy snack, etc. My kids accept it pretty easily when I tell them "you already had a cheese stick, you need to pick a different snack".

yes :yes I do that too. My DS had a granola bar and was going to get another one. They are a bit on the sugary side, so I told him his next choice needed to be a veggie or some protein.

[TestifyToLove]

I have very lenient food rules and always have.

No eating while I'm cooking the meal.
No wasting what you take, either take less or eat it before going for something else.
No food in the bedrooms.

That's about it.

Yes, a child will eat one thing all day. But, that same child will eat all of something else the next day and they balance their diet in totality versus one sitting.

And, I have found for my adoptees, the ability to control their own food intake has been VITAL to their healing from past neglect and deprivation issues.

The only person overweight in my house is me. I have a thyroid condition that was out of control for nearly a decade. Since getting it stabilized, I'm down 35lb but I have a long way to go. But, I barely eat in the first place, so obviously amount of food in the house is not impacting my size.

[Carmen]

Our girls naturally fall into a 3 meal 2 snack pattern. It varies occasionally with growth spurts and whatnot, but that is typical. I won't get them snacks if I am standing at the stove cooking. My 4yo I know sometimes wants a snack because she is bored, so if she is asking for a snack 20 minutes after lunch I'll ask her if she is really hungry or is she just bored. Most of the time she's just bored because 2yo just went down for a nap and I'm nursing the baby.

[ArmsOfLove]

I have rules about what is snack food--this comes from the fact that my dh will eat all of one thing and then I won't have it to cook with :doh

So I dictate what constitutes a snack, and then they can eat them whenever they want--and I have guidelines about when something can be a snack.

For instance, you may not have chips at 9am for a snack :doh but you may have chips with hummus or even just chips during the afternoon. Fruit is any time. etc.

Mostly there are SO FEW snacks that aren't made from scratch that my family can eat that we end up doing baked potatoes or nuts or leftovers ;)

But controlling food is not needed. If you're worried about what they will eat, make a wide variety of healthy foods available for that day. Veggie trays, fruit, sandwiches cut into small squares, etc.

[JJsMom]

I'll come back to this.

[Susan K]

WE snack on fruit ,veggies and yogurt. We stop snacking about an hour from dinner. My adopted and bio follow the same rules.