Evenstarlight
07-10-2009, 12:10 PM
Right...so i'm slowly picking up on the values of GD.
One thing I've learned from others is that in general children simply do not get how to share until they are least three years old.
I'm not the kind of parent who hears that and then simply doesn't do anything if we're in a social situation and my daughter won't share a toy or something. I feel a little uncomfortable just saying "she's too young to share, sorry" I try to just gently encourage to share...but at the same time, I don't really expect her to "get it" and I don't make a huge issue of it.
I have decided that modeling sharing, and a generous nature is more important than anything. It's more important to me that she grows up with a generous mentality and a spirit of generostity deeply rooted in her....than that she at the age of 2 and a half can share on demand.
Now...this is the thing. My mother in law...who is in pretty much most ways supportive and great, is really getting a bee in her bonnet about this sharing thing. I've explained about the child development thing..but she just says "oh really" and I can tell she doens't believe me. She announces "we're going to have sharing games" when I drop Iona off to play with her. Tonight when DH went to see her, she told him that "Iona shared with me and I shared with her, WE learned how to share today" she is just really making an issue of it and I feel really annoyed about it.
first off, I don't feel she gets where I'm coming from, and second, I feel she is trying to "prove us wrong" you know how grandparents think the next generation is full of new fangled ideas....
Also, I feel tempted to lash out and question the values of trying to pound the value into the head of a toddler and point out I would rather my child learned generosity by example than how to share just because it's the polite thing to do. My husband, as good as he is, actually struggles to be generous....he may have good manners, but he battles in the area of giving...(and he is aware of it)
I know it would be counter productive to do that...but I'm just really annoyed!!!
One thing I've learned from others is that in general children simply do not get how to share until they are least three years old.
I'm not the kind of parent who hears that and then simply doesn't do anything if we're in a social situation and my daughter won't share a toy or something. I feel a little uncomfortable just saying "she's too young to share, sorry" I try to just gently encourage to share...but at the same time, I don't really expect her to "get it" and I don't make a huge issue of it.
I have decided that modeling sharing, and a generous nature is more important than anything. It's more important to me that she grows up with a generous mentality and a spirit of generostity deeply rooted in her....than that she at the age of 2 and a half can share on demand.
Now...this is the thing. My mother in law...who is in pretty much most ways supportive and great, is really getting a bee in her bonnet about this sharing thing. I've explained about the child development thing..but she just says "oh really" and I can tell she doens't believe me. She announces "we're going to have sharing games" when I drop Iona off to play with her. Tonight when DH went to see her, she told him that "Iona shared with me and I shared with her, WE learned how to share today" she is just really making an issue of it and I feel really annoyed about it.
first off, I don't feel she gets where I'm coming from, and second, I feel she is trying to "prove us wrong" you know how grandparents think the next generation is full of new fangled ideas....
Also, I feel tempted to lash out and question the values of trying to pound the value into the head of a toddler and point out I would rather my child learned generosity by example than how to share just because it's the polite thing to do. My husband, as good as he is, actually struggles to be generous....he may have good manners, but he battles in the area of giving...(and he is aware of it)
I know it would be counter productive to do that...but I'm just really annoyed!!!