Should we sell all our furniture and move?

[boobymummy]

Im feeling a bit confused tonight so I thought hey, why not talk to some Christian chicks online? My husband has decided we are going to move 7 hours away from where we live. We had been discussing it for a long time (well about moving or travelling or doing SOMETHING apart fom what we are doing). For me, I guess there are lots of reasons, mainly I want a change, a season away try something new, be less tied down and maybe I will appreciate my home more. It all started for me when I was pregnant and nearly died from hyperemesis (extrememly bad all day and night sickness). I just wanted to get away and lie in a tent with an esky of ice by myself. It was a really rough season. Im not sure how long I want to go for whether a short season or long... For my husband he wants to go to this town because he has met some Christian older men who really help him. He really wants a father figure as his own dad has been a big influence on him and he's not a Christian. He wants a fresh start and to become his own man away from some of the influences around here.

He wants to sell all our furniture a live minimalistically (ie microwave, bed and small fridge and hardly any clothes). I kinda fine with the minimal thing. In a way I am keen to as well and there is a lot we could get rid of but also Ive been thinking like we got given heaps of our stuff and its really good furniture which we couldn't normally afford. Yes God can provide but Im wondering if its wisdom to get rid of it. We could put it in storage. Rent is much cheaper in the new town so we could afford it. And get rid of alot of the things we don't need. In some ways I think my husband is relieved not to have to worry about removalists if he can just sell a heap on ebay or something. See I don't want to be an Eve and stop him from doing what God is calling us to do (if indded he is calling us to do it). I think it will be really good for steve to have a season away, and myself too but Ive been poor all my life. I know God can provide, but I just feel its important to appreciate things too. Sometimes he is almost aggresive about how the family members who gave us the furniture need to not be so materialistic and he says that scripture about the guy Jesus said "Sell all you have and give the money to the poor". Not that we are giving it away but he just doesn't want to be tied down to this earth.

Anyway, I just don't want us to make an unwise decision that we can't take back. In a way I am willing to just throw it all to the wind and go camping in a tent but I was praying about this the other week and saw a link between me doing this and my mum who is very flighty and I really want to be a more stable force in Asher's life. I want to serve God whatever it takes, whether that means stability or getting rid of it all. I mean, most important is that Steve and I stick together Im sure that will be the most important thing we can do for him.

Are you feeling any advice or wisdom in the Lord. Im sorry if this is all over the place. God bless

[2sunshines]

:hug Welcome to GCM. :heart

Can you compromise with him? Like maybe move, live simply but with a few more things than he is wanting? Are there specific things that you really want to keep?

[me]

:welcome
no thoughts in particular but ill be :pray4 for you guys in a sure decision. :heart

[boobymummy]

Thanks for the prayer. I think the problem is that his whole life he hasn't been bought up to know his own mind and be his own person. Eg every time he is sure of something his family presents a doubt, and "Are you sure?" or "No i think you should do this" As a result he spirals into depression every time an alternative view crops up. Thats part of why we are going... I told his mum about the move this morning. She is devoed. Wants to chip into storage costs. Helpful in a way but as long as we are getting hand outs from her he wont be able to be free from that mentality. So I sort of want to support him, but yeah I feel scared. I want more compromise. Like I think a good idea would be to lend the furniture to his sister who wants it all. We might never get it back, and we wouldn't get the money for selling it though and Im scared to make him overwhelmed.

He really wants to be a man and to make his own decisions. He wants to act on Gods voice but feels like it is so obscured by his godless parents voice that he needs to cut all ties in order to really know for sure who he is hearing from. So he is running from materialism which they love. I don't know, maybe for him to grow in this area he really does need to get rid of it all. This is why Im confused. Thanks for your help!

[sprout]

I would keep whatever it is that you plan to replace (like couch, bed) because it will be more expensive to replace and then sell the rest :heart

[2sunshines]

Eg every time he is sure of something his family presents a doubt, and "Are you sure?" or "No i think you should do this" As a result he spirals into depression every time an alternative view crops up.

:hug It sounds like the two of you need to make decisions and not involve family members in that process at all. Honestly, I'd be hesitant to even share those decisions with anyone who does that before absolutely necessary. And once the two of you have come to a decision that you're confident in, do whatever you can to not let other people sway that. Support him, encourage him.

[PurpleButterfly]

Im scared to make him overwhelmed.

He really wants to be a man and to make his own decisions.


:hugheart

He needs a strong Christian mentor, someone to model that true manliness is not about authority and rebellion but honoring his wife in making life-changing decisions together. You should never have to feel afraid to make your husband feel overwhelmed because you are concerned for your future and not comfortable with irrationally-made decisions. This isn't just about him, or even about the two of you, if you have children they will be the ones most greatly affected. :hugheart :pray4 :heart

[boobymummy]

Thanks for the advice, I agree about him needing a Christian mentor. In a way thats why we're moving. Ive been feeling challenged not to be a man pleaser and not to cling too much to the things of this world as we are strangers and pilgims in this land. Most of all I want to teach our son that Christ is the constant that provides security and love more than any worldly possesion could. We need a new mattress so I think we will just get a futon mattress for the floor, that way Asher can keep sleeping with us too as he's rolling a lot now and our Queen size is pretty squishy. :nak2 Our couch is one of those huge L shaped ones. Im just feeling I need to support Steve in his decisions and keep prayerful. I may not be able to afford possesions like this again, but if it holds him back from growing in this area that God wants growth then that is more valuable for our life together as man and wife then having nice things.

Please pray for me that I would continue to listen to the Lord and not become fearful for any reason but would wait on Him without distraction. Thanks :heart

[PurpleButterfly]

I will be praying for you, friend. :hug :pray :heart

[boobymummy]

2sunshines good advice! Since writing, this has been what we have been feeling in the Lord. Just an update. We have sold all our big furniture except a few things I really wanted to keep/couldn't afford to replace. We sold our couch and have beanbags and sold our bed and are buying a traditional Japanese futon (which is a mattress on the floor) which will be great for cosleeping. Exciting. We are moving in 4 weeks

[2sunshines]

:heart :heart I'm glad that the Lord has made His plan clear to both of you and that you are unified in your decisions.

Praying for you guys during this time of transition.

[Teacher Mom]

how exciting. how will you keep us posted????

[me]

where are you going to get your futon from? were looking at buying some right now :shifty