Strong willed 2 year old, help me please

[mom22boys]

My DS #2 just turned two on jan 4. He has such a strong will and independent attitude. He does things he KNOWS he shouldn't do, and then when busted he will say aww man, or run to the time out chair. (which doesn't seem to be working) I really want to parent positively. I don't believe in spanking, or yelling. (although I find myself raising my voice to stop the rivalry b/w him and older brother) He has wanted to Potty train for a couple months. I decided to go with it after the holidays. So he has been using the potty for almost 2 weeks. He does EXCELLENT when out and about, and 98% of the time he does great at home with me. If I leave him with anyone he won't go to the potty for them. What do you do about that? I don't make a big deal out of it. He is COMPLETELY different than DS#1 who if you even raised your voice he would cry. I feel like I am being manipulated by a two year. Please tell if this is normal and will get bette... OH and When does impulsivity control start?

[mamaKristin]

Welcome!

I've found that with 2 year olds, my best approach for them not getting into things they shouldn't is a) childproofing and b) supervision. Not saying you aren't doing that, but I have discovered that all three of my children have had different things they were prone to touch, be attracted to, and want to discover on their own. Making their environment safe and explorable is huge.

At just 2, strong will is very common, and is age expected. However, I wouldn't say he does things he knows he shouldn't, rather that he lacks the impulse control to stop himself. Which is why the above paragraph is helpful. :) It sounds as though you have two different personalities in your children, I'd try not to think of your 2 year olds behavior as manipulative, he's entering into the time where he's learning where the boundaries are and how much power he may (or may not) have over his body, his environment, and his world.

I'd suggest checking out some of the threads here and in the GBD stickies forum http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?board=231.0

[NovelMama]

Yup, sounds like a 2yo to me! :)

I couldn't help but :giggle at your comment about the time out chair--it definitely doesn't work for certain personalities, and it sounds like your DS is one of them! Check out the sticky on comfort corners--it's a tool many of us here use and I know I've found it to be very helpful.

The 5 Steps sticky would be another great one to check out. Very very helpful at this age, at least it was for me.

Welcome and good luck! :hug

[klpmommy]

sounds pretty typical 2 to me. :yes My 1.5 y/o is *so* different than my two bigs were. Much more strong willed, much more opinionated, etc. So it is hard to not compare. But the fact is, she is just different than they were. And that is a good thing. At 2 he is too young to "manipulate" you, although he is learning how the world works.

As for not pottying with anyone else, at 2 I would just let it go & let him use a diaper if he isn't with you.

[MarynMunchkins]

My 2 yo won't let anyone else take her potty either. :shrug We use diapers or clean up accidents. :)

[rachelmarie]

Welcome! :)

When my ds was 2 (he's 4 now), he was much the same way and we just childproofed and tried our best to keep him occupied with things he was allowed to do. Not always easy, but it was often effective at keeping him out of things he wasn't supposed to be in.

As for potty-training - he's only 2, just 2, and it sounds like he's doing *really well* learning how to use the potty! My ds was 3 when he learned. So, don't worry if your 2 yo is still having accidents now. Just use diapers when he'll be with someone else.