Throwing herself on the floor - 16 months

[COTK]

Throwing herself down is basically her only response to anything we do she doesn't like. I don't stop her, and I don't react to it. If it continues too long, I'll try to distract her. Sometimes she hurts herself in the process.

She's non-verbal, and we are slowly, slowly seeing that she is starting to understand us when we talk to her. The slowly-ness is mostly due to inexperience, I must confess.

How should we handle throwing herself differently?

[Susan K]

I would just try to keep her safe when the big feelings are happening. My youngest ds had some fits that he would scream himself to sleep. He was either in my arms or on the floor were he threw himself. Now at four he rarely has a tantrum. We still have big feelings and we are learning to use our words.
Susan

[Shnooky]

My DS 16months threw himself on the floor face down one day all 'drama queen' his arms covering his eyes and "crying" then glanced at DH to see if he was looking and then started crying again :lol

[canadiyank]

At that age I pretty much just reflect feelings and then distract. "Wow, you're feeling upset you can't have a cookie! Look at this fly on the wall!" :lol

For a more in-depth look at dealing with tantrums and disappointment check this (http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?topic=102617.0) thread out. Here's a section pertinent to your question:


First, the steps for dealing with a crisis:

1. Check for safety. Move anyone or anything being hurt.
2. Acknowledge feelings. "It's ok to feel ____." (Identifying feelings gives them a feelings vocabulary, that feelings are acceptable, and that their feelings are different from actions. It's ok to "guess" at their feelings and be wrong...they're still learning and if they can tell you're wrong, great!)
3. Set limits. "And I will not let you _____." (Notice use of "and" here instead of "but," which can negate or minimize their feelings you idenitified in step 2.)
4. Offer choices. "You may ____ or _____ instead." (These are the skills you've introduced at other times.)
5. Offer support. "Would you like me to ___?" ("Offering support may be tricky. Some children want to be left alone, others feel abandoned if you leave. You can ask what the child wants, but remember that she may really not know. You may need to experiment to see what works best." p. 17.)

[COTK]

At that age I pretty much just reflect feelings and then distract. "Wow, you're feeling upset you can't have a cookie! Look at this fly on the wall!" :lol


Hilarious distraction, there, C!

As far as your steps listed out in the quote, I feel like that is something we can be gradually working towards. But in the mean time, while we develop that skill, just keeping her safe (as much as we can, sometimes, she can really hurt herself, tho :() is the main thing?

[canadiyank]

Oh, yes, that's definitely something to work toward, not right away. :yes

LOL, I couldn't think of a better distraction. And I've so done the distraction that's really not interesting thing. :giggle

I would say safety, reflecting feelings, and distraction are the most important at that age.

Remember, reflecting feelings won't make the tantrum stop or go away, but you are helping her realize the names to those feelings so that gradually she'll be able to replace those big feelings with words, "I feel angry!"

HTH!

[COTK]

Remember, reflecting feelings won't make the tantrum stop or go away, but you are helping her realize the names to those feelings so that gradually she'll be able to replace those big feelings with words, "I feel angry!"


I knew this, somewhere in my brain, but I needed to read it. Thanks so much, very helpful!

[canadiyank]

:tu

[ThreeKids]

I say, "less drama, please". It doesn't help. It's just what I do. She's getting old enough to understand my words more now, so I probably ought to move on to something more productive soon.

[AngelBee]

At that age I pretty much just reflect feelings and then distract. "Wow, you're feeling upset you can't have a cookie! Look at this fly on the wall!" :lol



:lol