Squalor Survivors

[jamilyian]

Have any of you seen this site? www.squalorsurvivors.com

[celestial princess]

I saw it when you linked to it ;) I have to say it was pretty reassuring. I didn't think they reflected my type of clutter, though - I have more just extra stuff lying around than random trash.

[JJsMom]

Those pics made me feel really sad and anxious for the person living there. :( How can anyone be happy there? I have a few relatives that live in that type of squalor and my heart just breaks for them because they are so depressed and unable to break the cycle.

[ArmsOfLove]

How can anyone be happy there? that's just it, they can't :( They start out not feeling good and then create an environment that reflects what is inside of them. That is the point of Messie revelation #4 :(

I love reading the stories of people getting their homes under control there :heart

And I did go there before to show dh how he'd be living without me--he started to argue then said, "Yeah, you're probably right" :doh My friend used to think I was a messie who couldn't keep house until she cleaned my house and saw it again after dh spent one night here with 3 kids :shifty She apologized profusely to me :shifty

[jamilyian]

Sorry you've been judged for your messiness Crystal. (Or rather your husband's messiness) :hug2
------------------------

Here is an interesting part of the website where they measure degrees of squalor:

First degree squalor
You are getting behind in tasks that you would normally manage, like laundry and dishes. You are not the tidy person you once were. Little piles are starting to emerge and your disorganization is starting to affect your life and inconvenience you. Things are just starting to get out of hand and become unmanageable. A sign of first degree squalor could be that you might be embarrassed for other people to see your mess...but you would still let them in the house.

Second degree squalor
Now things are really starting to get out of hand. Signs that you have reached second degree would include losing the use of normal household items like your bed, table, television or telephone, because the piles have expanded to cover the items up. You start to develop new methods of moving around your house, as normal movement is impeded by your piles of stuff. You might start making excuses to discourage people from entering your house.

Third degree squalor
At this stage, you have all the above, plus you have rotting food and animal faeces and/or urine in the house, and this is the rule not the exception. You cannot cope with the growing mess. Essential household repairs may not be done, because you are too afraid to let a tradesperson see your house. Just the thought of someone seeing your mess causes you great stress.

Fourth degree squalor
At fourth degree squalor, you have all of the above, plus you have human faeces and/or urine in your house that is not in the toilet.

Finally...
Whatever stage of squalor you are at, know two things:

You are not the only person to have reached this degree of squalor. Other people have been where you are...and come back.
You deserve better!
I was sitting here reading posts and it dawned on me that I am at level 1 in every room of the house except the mud porch where my laundry is, and that is a level 1-2.I don't know what I expected... fireworks to go off, or something magical when I hit that milestone... It just happened slowly but surely—though there was a lot of kicking and screaming along the way, lol. This happened over the space of two years, but it did happen—one baby bite at a time. I still let things go and have to run a maintenance marathon now and then but it is now all manageable! Thank you, Squalor Survivors, and all the SS members for giving me the tools, encouragement, laughter, and for always having a hankie ready for the giving along the way ......I could not have gotten this far without you all.
DustyDiva
---------------------------------------

It is interesting that many people are probably at stage one...

[RooMama]

:phew I'm not even at stage one squalor.

It really is fascinating to read, though.

[Bonnie]

Thank you for sharing that site.

[GodChick]

Looks like the owner of the site recently posted she was going to close the site down. :(

Also looks like I have a few rooms in stage 1. :bag

[jamilyian]

Where does it say that??

[Maggie]

I hope it won't be taken down! :(

[bananacake]

My husband's desk looks like some of those pictures. The rest of the house is 1st degree or better.

[WanderingJuniper]

Just looking at some of those pictures made me anxious. We have a couple places in the house that might be 1st degree but not for lack of wanting. We haven't had the time to finish our bathroom refurb so there are building supplies in my bedroom.

[klpmommy]

based on those definitions we are a combo of #1 & #2. I am working on getting us to #1, but there are still areas like our garage where it is difficult to get around (#2). And I definately have areas of the house that are unusable b/c of the junk on top of it. :bag But I can let people in the house b/c the house is large enough to hide the worst messes. :bag

[WanderingJuniper]

based on those definitions we are a combo of #1 & #2. I am working on getting us to #1, but there are still areas like our garage where it is difficult to get around (#2). And I definately have areas of the house that are unusable b/c of the junk on top of it. :bag But I can let people in the house b/c the house is large enough to hide the worst messes. :bag

:hug

That reminded me of a friend of mine growing up. I didn't even know their home was a 4 br because the 4th bedroom was never used. You couldn't open the door. They had a formal lr and dr that was off limits during normal living so they had a space ready for guests at all times and they could close the other doors.

That sight prompted me to tidy up our master bedroom this morning. It is refreshing the breathing room now. The tools, tiles grout and other items are still there but it is at least organized now.

[jamilyian]

based on those definitions we are a combo of #1 & #2. I am working on getting us to #1, but there are still areas like our garage where it is difficult to get around (#2). And I definately have areas of the house that are unusable b/c of the junk on top of it. But I can let people in the house b/c the house is large enough to hide the worst messes.

:hugheart hugs to you

My mother is in 3rd degree squalor. I haven't been inside that house in over six years. My children have never visited their grandma's house even though she lives but minutes away. It makes me very very sad.

My father is in second degree squalor due to home remodeling that has never been completed. He ran out of money, but there were still things left to do. So the garage is piled high with junk and the front bathroom and two bedrooms are completely unusable. I showed him the site and he thought of mom, but I kind of wanted him to see "Oh! I guess I'm in second degree!" It doesn't matter WHY your home is in the state its in (home remodel or not) to let it stay that way and get progressively worse is still not good! I haven't been over to my dad's house in over 6 months because it isn't safe for the kids in there. He has more money now, and I really wish he would finish the house. He keeps spending his time and money on other things though, like a new exercise bike that promptly went into the sky-high-with-junk garage. Sorry to be a pessimist, but does he really think he's going to work out in there?

[Chris3jam]

based on those definitions we are a combo of #1 & #2. I am working on getting us to #1, but there are still areas like our garage where it is difficult to get around (#2). And I definately have areas of the house that are unusable b/c of the junk on top of it. :bag But I can let people in the house b/c the house is large enough to hide the worst messes. :bag


Us, too. And it's not like I *want* it this way. . . .I just *cannot* keep it up. I can keep up on laundry (mostly. . .I can at least have it clean, but it may take a week or so to fold), making food and cleaning up after, and other kinds of "basic" cleaning. Fortunately, dh is starting to help some. He'll help me take a Saturday or something and both of us (yes, it takes both of us) will get the kids motivated and we'll all work on cleaning. I'm trying to keep it up, but all it takes is *one* day, and it starts back up. I'm *trying* to ellicit the help I need. . from the family that contributes to the problem, explaining that if we *keep* it up, it will *stay* up! If we don't let it get to "overwhelmed!" stage, it's a lot easier. But, unfortunately, my powers of persuasion are lacking. :(

[GodChick]

Looks like the owner of the site recently posted she was going to close the site down.

Where does it say that??



http://squalorsurvivors.com/community/forums/148659/ShowPost.aspx

And people's responses to it here:

http://squalorsurvivors.com/community/forums/148664/ShowPost.aspx

I can't tell if the site is going to be taken down or if the admin is just leaving . . . it sounds like the site is closing down, but I see people still posting, so . . . :shrug