Messie Revelation #4

[klpmommy]

This is a little harder for me to get through my head, but I think it is *very* applicable to me.

My messy house reflects internal choas.

:think

:think

:yes2

One chapter is talking about adult children of alcoholics are at risk of being messies b/c of control issues. And I am one who felt defeated growing up & now when things get "tough" in the home I retreat & give up on the mess.

A few ideas that really stood out to me--
tolerate a lot more mess than "normal"
learn to minimize own needs
feel guilty about expressing own needs b/c it feels like an imposition on others

A lot of the chapter on this really hit close to home. :( I thought I had grown past a lot of my dysfunctional upbringing, but reading this has just shown me that I have found other ways to "live" it. :(

:sigh & now my book is overdue from the library & I am not quite done with it. :bag

[joy]

Are there any mellow things you could see yourself doing to work through these? Nothing huge - just a little something here or there to make some progress in the right direction?

i can see how what you've read is a true and powerful dynamic. I can keep the house clean, but my office is a pigsty. I'll get there... :/

[ThreeKids]

Not me...

It's not that the severe ADD and the mental tics part of Tourette's doesn't make for some messy rooms in my head, but none of that has anything to do with my past. Also, keeping those things as good as it gets requires a lot of mental discipline, even if the results don't show what someone with fewer such challenges would get from the same amount of discipline.

[ArmsOfLove]

she's just sharing her internal chaos--anything that causes chaos is going to cause choas in the home. things like add definitely cause internal chaos.

I know that is part of dh's problem--he's also realizing he's been living in his worst presentations of his myers briggs personality profile for awhile now.

it's definitely true for me :yes2

[kwisie]

Internal chaos = external messiness. :think That just might be true for me, too. So, what is this book again? And does it help you overcome the messiness or just help you understand what's going on?

[klpmommy]

It's Messie No More by Sandra Felton. It's not a "how to" book, but a "here's why" book & once I can get through all the "why" maybe I can improve. I am already doing a few thing to improve from reading this book. (Just don't look at my kitchen now, I was gone all day long :bag )

[KatieMae]

:shifty We've been at my in-laws every day since Friday, and Thursday I had 2 wisdom teeth removed so I wasn't busily cleaning or doing laundry, ya know?! It's overwhelming how messy & disorganized a home can become when you're only there a couple hours each day :sigh

[klpmommy]

:shifty We've been at my in-laws every day since Friday, and Thursday I had 2 wisdom teeth removed so I wasn't busily cleaning or doing laundry, ya know?! It's overwhelming how messy & disorganized a home can become when you're only there a couple hours each day :sigh


:yes2

and :hug for the wisdom teeth. Ouch!!

[Marsha]

That's the chapter that spoke the most to me, too. I posted about it before reading this!

[catholicmama]

I'm the same way...lots of internal chaos and external messiness. It is SO hard to keep up with housework when you are out of town and then gone a lot during the day. I feel so defeated when I accomplish a bunch and then it's completely re-messy by the end of the day.

[TraceMama]

A few ideas that really stood out to me--
tolerate a lot more mess than "normal"
learn to minimize own needs
feel guilty about expressing own needs b/c it feels like an imposition on others

A lot of the chapter on this really hit close to home. :( I thought I had grown past a lot of my dysfunctional upbringing, but reading this has just shown me that I have found other ways to "live" it. :(



These things are true for me too, even though I didn't grow up a child of an alcoholic. :( There was some dysfunction, though, to be sure. :yes2

The lightbulb is going on for me as I realize that *that* internal chaos reflected in external messiness (or lack of order) is also *very* closely tied to my food-clutter issue (as in I eat more than the container needs to be holding ;)). There's no doubt in my mind that they're related. :think :(