loveyoulots
05-21-2008, 06:40 AM
DD2 is turning 3 next month, and she is clearly changing and growing in big emotions and verbal reasoning. But, she is constantly looking to her older sister to tell her what to be or what to do. It drives DH nuts, and now, through him, me.
Example: They love to play pretend, usually a book or movie plot. DD1 always assigns DD2 the role of the boy. Then DD2 will ask incessantly, “who am I?” or “what’s my name again?” This alone drives me nuts. Although she clearly wants to be the one with the dress, she always accepts her assigned role. Except that she asks for another 50 times what her name is :banghead My stock answer has always been you can be whoever you want to be. But, she doesn’t seem to want that answer, she wants to be told what to be. What would help her the most here? DH thinks we need to help her assert herself by standing up to DD1 and assigning her the role she doesn't want. I don't think DD1 is being mean here, its not like that. She is asked who someone can be and she assigns them the role that flatters herslef the most. Quite savvy for a 5 yo. I have it in my head that part of this is a birth order thing, and as long as we give DD2 the words to use and the right to use them, she will eventually claim back her power. I remember reading Siblings Without Rivalry, and thought that fighting one child's battles for them was not recommended for long term happiness. But, after a particularly trying day yesterday, I’m re-thinking that.
Also, can someone please reassure me that total lack of impulse control, incessantly putting things in her mouth, and complete inability to do things like putting her shoes on that she has done for ages are totally normal for this age transition period? How long before we emerge from this dark place :lol ? :help
Example: They love to play pretend, usually a book or movie plot. DD1 always assigns DD2 the role of the boy. Then DD2 will ask incessantly, “who am I?” or “what’s my name again?” This alone drives me nuts. Although she clearly wants to be the one with the dress, she always accepts her assigned role. Except that she asks for another 50 times what her name is :banghead My stock answer has always been you can be whoever you want to be. But, she doesn’t seem to want that answer, she wants to be told what to be. What would help her the most here? DH thinks we need to help her assert herself by standing up to DD1 and assigning her the role she doesn't want. I don't think DD1 is being mean here, its not like that. She is asked who someone can be and she assigns them the role that flatters herslef the most. Quite savvy for a 5 yo. I have it in my head that part of this is a birth order thing, and as long as we give DD2 the words to use and the right to use them, she will eventually claim back her power. I remember reading Siblings Without Rivalry, and thought that fighting one child's battles for them was not recommended for long term happiness. But, after a particularly trying day yesterday, I’m re-thinking that.
Also, can someone please reassure me that total lack of impulse control, incessantly putting things in her mouth, and complete inability to do things like putting her shoes on that she has done for ages are totally normal for this age transition period? How long before we emerge from this dark place :lol ? :help