I typed up on my blog how I got my kids to sleep in their crib gently.

[mamame]

But I remember reading on here, I think, about a book that has a very similar way to do this too. Is there one? :shrug I really seem to remember thinking - HEY! That's what I did with my kids on my own! LOL

Here's my blog - yeah, I know, really active. But I finally typed this information up because my hubby asked me to after explaining it to yet another mother at church who thought the only option was CIO.

http://annsni.blogspot.com/

The thing that I like about this method is that - first off, I get to sleep! I hate sleeping with anyone touching me - even DH - and having a child co-sleeping was wonderful to get some rest but I never slept really well and felt really rested. But I thank God for co-sleeping! Secondly, I felt that it met my children's need to know that I'm there for them and will be there the second they need me but it would encourage them that they COULD get to sleep without me having to assist them to get to that point. The kids are now 5, 7, 15 and almost 18 and they're all great sleepers but if any of them wake in the night for whatever reason, they know they can wake me and I'll be there in a flash. LOL - DH was awake one night and I heard the little one cry out (she was about 3 at the time) and I ran into her, took care of her and got back in bed. I didn't know he was awake and when I got back in bed, DH asked what was wrong. I said "If you were awake, why didn't you get up?" and he said "You were up before i could even move!". LOL!

[ozmummy]

But I remember reading on here, I think, about a book that has a very similar way to do this too. Is there one? don't know/shrug I really seem to remember thinking - HEY! That's what I did with my kids on my own! LOL

Are you thinking of No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley....

off to read your blog...need sleep :yawn

[mamame]

But I remember reading on here, I think, about a book that has a very similar way to do this too. Is there one? don't know/shrug I really seem to remember thinking - HEY! That's what I did with my kids on my own! LOL

Are you thinking of No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley....

off to read your blog...need sleep :yawn


I have no idea because I haven't read it. I would get frustrated with sleep books with "do this and you will have a great sleeper" or "co-sleeping won't interrupt your sleep" when I'm one who it DID (although, as I said, it was definitely the better choice for me for a long time - until my babies were big enough to really be OK on their own).

[RedTulipMoon]

Thanks for posting this. i just read your blog and it is what i am going to start doing with my 8.5 mos old. I havent slept in a year and i can't take it anymore. She is to the point of waking every hour or 2 all night long. She starts out in her swing, which lasts only an hour or two then i bring her in bed with me. She nurses ALL NIGHT long and i know its not for food, its a habit. I dont mind gettting up once or twice in the middle of the night to nurse until she is over 1 yr, but this craziness has to stop. I love your ideas. I feel like it will take alot of time and energy for the next couple weeks, and even more sleep loss, but i just HAVE to do something to get her to sleep on her own. Thanks.

[mamame]

Aww - You're welcome RedTulipMoon. I found 8-9 months to be my breaking point with each of my babies. It was the time that I was finally so tired and beyond myself that it was killing me. ((HUGS))

My biggest advice with what I posted in my blog is to not be so strict that you neglect to meet their needs. There were nights I had to go back to step one and snuggle in the rocker to get them to settle down due to whatever reason (teething, illness, just being extra needy, etc.) and it's OK to do that. But each of my kids quickly learned that if they really needed/wanted me, I was right there and it was OK. Some needed more reassuring than others and I'd go with what they needed. And as I said, they all eventually were comfortable with the idea that it was time to go to sleep and I was nearby but they didn't need me to carry them through every step of the sleeping process. As with everything else we teach our children, the goal is independence from us at some point - from walking on their own, eating on their own and even sleeping on their own. It's not unhealthy to work towards that goal.

Good luck with it! I'd love to know how it goes!

[3PeasInAPod]

yeah, it's along the lines of "Nocrysleepsolution" by Pantley. I did a similar thing with ds when he was 15months old, but it was for nap time only. As he still needs me right there at night. For him, 8 months was still too young for me to try Pantley's or any other gentle sleep method. He would start to scream & look at me like "what are you crazy, you better pick me up!" :giggle I rocked him until he was 15 mo old! I've told some of my friends that & they look at me like I'm nuts! Anyway, it is nice to know at some point, they will STTN & be able to do so in peace.

[mamame]

yeah, it's along the lines of "Nocrysleepsolution" by Pantley. I did a similar thing with ds when he was 15months old, but it was for nap time only. As he still needs me right there at night. For him, 8 months was still too young for me to try Pantley's or any other gentle sleep method. He would start to scream & look at me like "what are you crazy, you better pick me up!" :giggle I rocked him until he was 15 mo old! I've told some of my friends that & they look at me like I'm nuts! Anyway, it is nice to know at some point, they will STTN & be able to do so in peace.


Oh gosh! That look - I know it! LOL! My second child was the high needs/ strong willed/ needier child and I had to hold off for a much longer doing this with her because it was just not time (LOL - this was the child who we kept saying was campaigning to be the youngest child). But I can safely say that, as she grew, she was the one who fell asleep at a Newsboys concert at 2, a concert that we went to with heavy metal at 3 (it was a Christian concert with the youth group - NOT my style of music but still.....) and even now argues with me "I wasn't asleep!" when she's watching TV (that's our running joke with her now) - she's now 15. I hate the "methods" that say "at such and such an age, they should be sleeping through the night" when each child is so different. That just makes me sad.

[Iveyrock]

I remember 9 months being such a hard time with my DS. He was nursing every hour too, and 9 months just felt like the breaking point for me. It is so hard, because you feel like you've been doing it forever, and there's no end in sight. And lack of sleep is a really big deal.
However, I know that my DS was really not ready to sleep in the crib at that point. I know that some babies are fine to do that, but my HN DS really wasn't. For me, what honestly helped the most was getting to the point that I wasn't obsessing over it. At that point, his sleeping (or lack thereof) was the focal point of my life. I was just so tired, I was reading about anything that might work. But I was very aware that for my son, even gentle sleep methods just weren't going to be ok at that point. I talked to my DH, and made a plan to reevaluate at a certain point (a month later? I don't remember now). And then I relaxed, because for the time being, I had my plan. And it helped SO much. Just relaxing about it meant I could sleep through the nursing so much better, because I wasn't watching the clock, thinking about how many times he'd nursed, obssessing about it all. And during the day, I was much more relaxed. I hadn't realized how much energy I was spending on the whole thing.
So, to sum up :giggle.I know gentle sleep training works for some kids. For my DS, cosleeping was still a need at that point - and it was really hard. And there were other hard points later on. But in the end, I am glad I handled it the way I did.
Wow, didn't mean to write a book, there... :giggle

[ozmummy]

:think

I can't get that link to work - I've tried a couple of times.

My bubba is 9months too....

and with 3 babies in 4 years, I've been waking up hourly pretty much for 4 years. I think it literally does send you to the brink of sanity.

[CelticJourney]

I'm another whose children were no where near ready for this at 8-9 months. Gee, when ds was 8 months he had just come home and I prefer my dillusion about how little he was at the time. :shifty Having read it, it made me tired; I'm not sure the trade off would be/jhave been worth it to me.

[PurpleButterfly]

I'm another whose children were no where near ready for this at 8-9 months. Gee, when ds was 8 months he had just come home and I prefer my dillusion about how little he was at the time. :shifty Having read it, it made me tired; I'm not sure the trade off would be/jhave been worth it to me.


:yes2 I must agree. So much easier to cosleep, even with my baby nursing all night long. (Which is appropriate during growth spurt periods esp. at 6/9/12/18 mos and/or when baby is fighting off illness or just extra stress/chaos at home). However, I can understand that some mamas really cannot tolerate being touched when they sleep, and I appreciated reading this advice in your blog, Ann:

If at any time during this whole drawn out process, your child gets to really fussing or crying, by all means, pick them up and snuggle with them. They NEED to know that you're there and you're not stuck on a "method" but that you'll comfort them when they need you.

:hearts

Or you could just be like me and savor every second of sweet babyhood and catch up with your sanity when they're grown and gone and don't want to be cuddled anymore. :heart

[HomeWithMyBabies]

We did NCSS with our second, I think he was about 10 months. My memory is really foggy from that time, but I remember early on that I slept well enough with ds co sleeping but as he got closer to a year old it was disturbing me. What changed for him as time went on wasn't that he started putting himself to sleep while I was there patting him or singing (that did not fly with him) but as he got older he didn't have to be *as* asleep in order to stay down. In the beginning of trying to get him into the crib I'd nurse and rock him for awhile, then lay him down, often start over, then sneak out as quietly as possible when I managed to get him into the crib. If I stepped on the wrong part of the floor and it squeaked, he was up. Now, at 2 years old I still put him to sleep but he'll roll over into a comfortable position, rub his eyes, etc without waking up. :phew

Anyway I like your blog entry.

[RedTulipMoon]

well i tried..and realized quickly that anna is NOT ready. So i will continue co-sleeping and breastfeeding all night long for now. i think i will try your sleep methods again when she is around 11 mos old.

[ArmsOfLove]

:phew wow, that's a lot of work :) I can imagine it being worth it if you really can't sleep with a baby in the bed and I know some women feel that way. And it definitely depends on the child and their readiness. I work with my toddlers to be able to fall asleep anywhere and it's quite cute when we're at Passover or something else that goes late and someone comes and let's me know they are tired and we have to search at the end of the night to find what corner they have curled up in :heart My personal choice is to have them be able to sleep anywhere vs in a crib, but that's more conducive to our life :rockon

[mamame]

:phew wow, that's a lot of work :) I can imagine it being worth it if you really can't sleep with a baby in the bed and I know some women feel that way. And it definitely depends on the child and their readiness. I work with my toddlers to be able to fall asleep anywhere and it's quite cute when we're at Passover or something else that goes late and someone comes and let's me know they are tired and we have to search at the end of the night to find what corner they have curled up in :heart My personal choice is to have them be able to sleep anywhere vs in a crib, but that's more conducive to our life :rockon


Oh - but it never was just the crib. My kids slept EVERYWHERE just like yours do. It's so funny! My second daughter slept through a heavy metal rock concert at 2 (even the band was amazed - they played at our church for the youth group) and when they were all little, they just would lay down and fall asleep anywhere - always knowing that we were nearby them wherever they were if they needed us. So many people said that they had never seen kids who would just fall asleep wherever they were like that. I think what really made me comfortable with this method was that my kids KNEW I was there for them at any second and they could sleep anywhere comfortably without getting scared that I wouldn't be there when they woke up.

It IS a lot of work but since I begin to get antsy when someone is touching me at night (although my kids did cosleep with me for a long time - especially my second who would only sleep while she was latched on to me during her first 3 months of life), I needed to find a way to work this out without doing the whole CIO thing. As many moms have, I tried CIO with my oldest child and was sitting outside her room in tears. I spoke to my husband and said "Why did God give me this attachment and heart for her if I'm supposed to ignore her?" and he said "Then go get her." (he was willing to let me do what I wanted to do but he also was feeling sick at hearing her cry). I never did it again but had to find some way to deal with bedtime without me getting bad sleep forever. Seriously - I can't sleep with my own hubby touching me at night - I NEED my space. LOL I need to look through my diaries to find out exactly what age I did this with each child but I do remember the last 2 were about 15-18 months when I did this but I think the older ones were closer to a year when I worked on it with them. I do remember all of them were pulling up because when I'd move the chair out of their sight, I remember them getting up and peaking over the side of the crib to find me. LOL

My biggest reason for finally typing this long drawn-out process was because I've seen so many moms who think that it's one or the other - cry it out or co-sleep and when neither one work for them, they get frustrated. I've suggested it to a number of very exhausted moms at church and the ones who tried it said it worked AND they didn't feel badly about it. :)

[ladybug]

I don't like to read parenting books, but I did read your blog and what you describe is what I'm attempting to do with my almost 10 month old.
It works great for the first 1/2 of the night, but after 3 am, forget it!
He just comes to bed with me and we snuggle, he nurses, and we get some sleep!!
Eventually I'll do that more in the night, but right now, I'm just too tired at 3 am! LOL!!
Thanks for posting this!
It's a beautiful descripton of a loving mama!!!!

[Rbonmom]

I did the same thing with ds at about 9mo. I wanted to be able to put him down on his own, and then bring him to bed with me later. It only took about a week, and then he did great. I actually read about it in the Babywhisperer's book and she called it the "pick up/put down" method. I flexed her more rigid rules a bit and it was great for ds and I. We still co-slept for the majority of the night, but I had a few hours to myself in the evenings (wonderful as a single mom).

[Allison]

I did things similarly. Did you find that once you got them to sleep on their own initially that they gradually lengthened their sleep until they sleeping through the night? That's what I found.

At first they'd only sleep a few hours and then I'd bring them to bed for the rest of the night and eventually they slept through. I start the process around 6 months with my oldest because he was a horrible co-sleeper. He slept through at 11 months. I started with Bear around 12 months and he slept through at 13 months. I started with Bean around 9-10 months and he slept through by 12 months (iirc).

[mamame]

I did things similarly. Did you find that once you got them to sleep on their own initially that they gradually lengthened their sleep until they sleeping through the night? That's what I found.

At first they'd only sleep a few hours and then I'd bring them to bed for the rest of the night and eventually they slept through. I start the process around 6 months with my oldest because he was a horrible co-sleeper. He slept through at 11 months. I started with Bear around 12 months and he slept through at 13 months. I started with Bean around 9-10 months and he slept through by 12 months (iirc).


I did find that it helped them to begin to lengthen their night sleep. I think it was a two-fold thing. They KNEW that if they needed me, I'd be there in a heartbeat. Literally. One night my hubby couldn't sleep and one of the kids woke up with a nightmare. After I woke, jumped up, went right to them, settled them down and got back to bed, I realized DH was awake. I said "Why didn't YOU get up with him?" and he said "You were out of bed before I processed what happened." LOL

The other reason is that they know how to wake up, not be afraid then get themselves back to sleep. They don't NEED the patting or rocking anymore.

I'm glad this has worked for some people. That's my goal - to give others another tool for their toolbelt of parenting. Each child is so different but having an arsenal of different things to try is a great thing IMO. :)