Decluttering Rules-

[TraceMama]

After cleaning up oodles of toys today, I'm ready to toss them all except for maybe 10! This probably isn't realistic, so I'm trying to remember the rules for decluttering that I've heard time and time again. I'm also looking for guidance here. How do you figure out which things to toss and never see again?! :nails :shrug Can you tell I have a slight binge and purge tendency with things?! :lol :giggle ;)

Here are the questions I've heard to ask while evalutating something. Please chip in:

1. Do you NEED it?

2. Do you LOVE it?

3. Will keeping it earn you some money? (i.e. you can sell it, trade it, etc)

:scratch :/ Now, I know there's a fourth question, but I can't recall it right now. :doh

Also, how do you evaluate the worth of a toy? Does the child play with it? Will it stand the test of time? Will a younger child play with it? :shrug

Oh, I remembered #4: Do you look GREAT in it?! :O I guess those were for clothes. :scratch :doh :giggle

[tree_hugger]

Another rule I apply (and I'm trying to get DH to apply) is: do I have room for it?

We need to accept that we cannot have twenty pairs of pants and twenty shirts if there's only room for ten of each in our closets, KWIM?

:heart

[tempus vernum]

Do I have room for it? is an awesome question.

I think everyone's rules are different but I like to think
"Could someone else use this or love this more than we do?"

:heart

Toys are tough - we have too many and I am constantly bagging up stuff :doh DOn't know where it all comes from. Sometimes I toss thigns that would be great handmedowns for a younger children because I feel others would benefit from it NOW :heart :heart

[tree_hugger]

I think everyone's rules are different but I like to think
"Could someone else use this or love this more than we do?"


That is a great one! :yes It reminds me of a FC story.

I had a teapot that I'd bought from a pharmacy I used to work in. (They had a little giftware section.) I used to keep it on my bench with all of my cooking utensils sticking out of it.

After a few years, I stopped using it, and it was gathering dust and not being appreciated under my kitchen sink. I finally decided to FC it, but I felt uneasy about parting with it - it represented a really happy time in my life.

Anyway, I listed it and someone asked for it. When she came to collect it, she was totally thrilled with it! She started telling me all about her teapot collection and where she was going to display it, etc, and I felt so pleased that it was going to a home where it would be truly valued, KWIM?

It was much better off with her than with me.

:heart

[Amber]

Another rule that I have is if I haven't used or worn it in the past year it should probably go.

[tree_hugger]

Another rule that I have is if I haven't used or worn it in the past year it should probably go.


:yes Yeah, that's a great rule, too.

[ArmsOfLove]

3. Will keeping it earn you some money? (i.e. you can sell it, trade it, etc)Be VERY careful considering this a rule because unless you are immediately putting it into a yard sale, swap, or listing it on ebay you are still going to be *housing* it--just with even less love for it ;)

[ArmsOfLove]

OH and my rules are:

Do I love it?
Do I use it?
Do I want to clean it :shifty

[tempus vernum]

Crystal, I forgot about cleaning :doh many a thing has left this year due to the "I'm tired of cleaning this" thought :tu

[klpmommy]

Sometimes I toss thigns that would be great handmedowns for a younger children because I feel others would benefit from it NOW :heart :heart


and instead of housing it for however many years, it is nice for a younger child to get a few new things amongst the handmedowns. I really want to donate some of my baby stuff after S outgrows it- even though we aren't done- b/c I can donate it to the crisis preganancy center, get a tax credit for it, I don't have to house it & I can buy a new one at a yardsale when we need it again- esp some things that take up a lot of space like the baby swing.

[TrinMama]

3. Will keeping it earn you some money? (i.e. you can sell it, trade it, etc)Be VERY careful considering this a rule because unless you are immediately putting it into a yard sale, swap, or listing it on ebay you are still going to be *housing* it--just with even less love for it ;)


I've been thinking about this aspect a lot lately...and for many things, I've decided it's not worth my time and effort to try to sell it or trade it. I'm keeping about a third of our things to "sell" and the rest I'm giving away. I figure people less fortunate than I will benefit more from it that way than I would from a few extra dollars.

[ArmsOfLove]

Sometimes I toss thigns that would be great handmedowns for a younger children because I feel others would benefit from it NOW :heart :heart


and instead of housing it for however many years, it is nice for a younger child to get a few new things amongst the handmedowns. I really want to donate some of my baby stuff after S outgrows it- even though we aren't done- b/c I can donate it to the crisis preganancy center, get a tax credit for it, I don't have to house it & I can buy a new one at a yardsale when we need it again- esp some things that take up a lot of space like the baby swing.
I've wondered if this wasn't an issue of trust for me--because God always provides for me--is my keeping clothes my children don't need today because they might need them next year actually distrust?

As we're cleaning out the totally out of control garage, I'm wondering :shrug

[AdrienneQW]

After four sessions with a professional organizer, I've become a *ruthless* declutter-er... and I love it. :rockon It's amazing how much my perspective has changed. I decluttered my t-shirts and hats just a month before I started working with Stephanie... six weeks later I did it again, and I got rid of 75% of what I'd kept just six weeks prior. I. DON'T. NEED. IT. All the things that used to weigh me down, gone. I don't care how much I paid for it. I don't care that for some reason I think I *should* love it. I don't care that someone I love gave it to me.

I've stopped holding on to things, thinking they define who I am. Keeping five bins of scrapbooking supplies does not mean I'm still a scrapbooker. I AM NO LONGER A SCRAPBOOKER. I haven't scrapped a page in four years - not a scrapbooker. Yes, I may return to the hobby someday... but storing all that *nonsense* in my house doesn't make me a scrapbooker anymore than owning a scalpel would me a surgeon.

The hardest part has been donating stuff that I know I could sell - but honestly, I don't have the time or energy to fool with selling it all. I used to look at it as "throwing money away" - now I'm choosing to look at it as blessing someone else with something that's no longer a blessing to me. I'm still struggling with the paradigm shift, but every time I succeed in saying goodbye to something I know full well I could sell if I tried, I'm more and more convinced that I'm doing the right thing by donating.

:rockon

[TrinMama]

What progress, Adrienne!

Crystal, interesting thoughts about trust...in a similar way I think about if I'm being a good steward with what we're blessed with..."shouldn't I keep it for a future baby or for little sister to grow into?" Well, maybe some things. :shrug But lately when I go through my family's clothes (dh excluded), I think about whether I in reality will actually dress another child in the outfit, or use the same toys with another child. If I'm on the fence, out it goes to hopefully be used and appreciated by someone else. I'm hopefully if I find our family ever in need, God will provide. I'm actually trying to make a point to donate more than I save for selling. What is the verse about "those to whom much has been given, much will be asked?" I may be way off, but it's something on my heart. :heart

[TraceMama]

Adrienne, that sounds amazing!!!! What were your personal organizer's criteria for getting rid of stuff? Just curious. I'm a tosser, usually, but dh likes to keep things just in case. I've got to do it when he's not really paying attention :shrug ;)

I think Crystal has a point here. The same idea could be applied to money and all material possessions. If I have enough for today, then God has provided for me and the rest is just stuff that I may or may not eventually need......

As far as selling it, not my style. Too much work, too little pay-off and I'd rather get it out of my house.

So, where do you all donate your clothes/toys/etc to?

[klpmommy]

i donate all of my baby & maternity stuff to a crisis pregnancy center in Livonia. It is just N of the 96 off of Middlebelt I think. AAA is the name. I can look up their info if you like. :yes Other stuff- it just depends on what it is. It is hard to find someplace to donate used toys, I have started taking them to Once Upon A Child in Canton (Ford Rd & Sheldon I think) & using the money from them (you might as well donate for the $$ they give you) for clothes for the kids.

[AdrienneQW]

Adrienne, that sounds amazing!!!! What were your personal organizer's criteria for getting rid of stuff?

That's the beauty of it - she won't set criteria or rules for you, she just supports you in doing it for yourself. That's why I really think this is a lasting change. :)

I'm more ruthless now than I was six weeks ago when I started with Stephanie. I've seen the good it does to LET GO and I'm a believer!!! It's so much easier. And she's so funny... she supports me when sometimes I just need to sit with an item for a few minutes before letting it go (or not). Sometimes she'll be in one part of the house and I'm in another and I'll summon her, show her an item, and tell her the item's story... then say goodbye to it. It's almost like I need to honor it for a minute, then I'm ready to let it go. :)

I donate all baby/kid items to the pregnancy resource center where the kids and I volunteer. They have a huge building set up as a "store" where they put all the donated items and moms-in-need can earn credit at the store by doing certain things (taking parenting classes, etc.) One day I saw a mom come in and her baby was wearing something I'd donated - even Dexter recognized it, from seeing pictures of himself wearing it as a baby. :heart It was the *coolest* feeling! I've had no trouble getting rid of baby/kid stuff since then.

Everything else goes to a local school for the disabled; they do pick-ups in the neighborhood every month.

[TraceMama]

Okay, now I've really got the bug to get rid of stuff, especially the toys. I should make a list of all the places that need to be de-cluttered. I think the easiest place to start would be the baby stuff --- strollers, swings, exersaucer, etc. However, once again, if dh sees me getting rid of it, he's going to tell me to keep it in case we have another dc :think :)

How do you all get around dh and his possible hoarding tendencies?

[tempus vernum]

this thread is motivating me. I am seriously going to declutter our baby stuff. :)

[klpmommy]

How do you all get around dh and his possible hoarding tendencies?


if you figure it out, let mr know.

[TraceMama]

I'm sure I won't figure it out, except that dh is going on a LONG trip this summer. Maybe then?

[TrinMama]

I'm sure I won't figure it out, except that dh is going on a LONG trip this summer. Maybe then?


hehe...that's kind of what I'm doing right now. Dh is in DC for 4 months...I'm sure most of what I give away he won't even notice it's gone except that the house is neater. :giggle

[klpmommy]

maybe the weather will be nice enough in April when dh is on a mission trip... :think

[Katydid]

:nak2 This thread is motivating! :heart

[TraceMama]

Discussed this thread at length with dh last night. I don't feel completely honest with him if I decide to ditch a ton of stuff while he's out of town and he has no say, kwim? :shrug Even though he wouldn't know any of it was missing, I'd still feel bad. In any case, I think talking to him gave him enough of a heads up to know that I'm gearing up to get rid of LOTS of stuff. I'm just trying to finish up the little projects I've already begun before starting a project of epic proportion! :giggle :lol ;)

[TrinMama]

Discussed this thread at length with dh last night. I don't feel completely honest with him if I decide to ditch a ton of stuff while he's out of town and he has no say, kwim? :shrug Even though he wouldn't know any of it was missing, I'd still feel bad. In any case, I think talking to him gave him enough of a heads up to know that I'm gearing up to get rid of LOTS of stuff. I'm just trying to finish up the little projects I've already begun before starting a project of epic proportion! :giggle :lol ;)


that's always good...finish what you've started first! and have dh on board. Mine knows I'm ditching things...I gave him today's list a little while ago. Plus, I am not touching what is expressly his. Mostly kids' things and housewares we've never really used.

[tree_hugger]

Here a good one from Peter Walsh (http://www.amazon.com/Its-All-Too-Much-Living/dp/0743292642) .

If you have to uuuuuummmm and aaaaaaah and really think about whether to keep an item, it needs to go! :yes

I saw him in Oprah yesterday and I have ordered his book, but the courier lost it! They are sending me another copy, but it will take a few weeks. :/ :(

[RealLifeMama]

gentle2blue, I have DH issues, too.
I think I have mentioned it before, but he actually takes it really personally when I declutter. He feels like it is a slap in the face to him to say that I want to get rid of stuff that "he has worked so hard to provide."
If I sell it to recoup money, that is fine. But that is too much work. The "God will provide" line does not work for him, because while we will have money to replace it if we need it, he will be the one working for it.

I feel really convicted I am hoarding some stuff now....

[AdrienneQW]

I'm going to have to start setting the DVR for Oprah every day - I missed Gavin deBecker, now I missed Peter Walsh? :(

Which book did you get, AlternaMum? I have "It's All Too Much" and it's terrific - I can't wait to get his new one.

[tree_hugger]

I'm going to have to start setting the DVR for Oprah every day - I missed Gavin deBecker, now I missed Peter Walsh? :(

Which book did you get, AlternaMum? I have "It's All Too Much" and it's terrific - I can't wait to get his new one.


I'm in Australia, and our Oprah episodes are a few weeks (or even months :think ) after yours.

I ordered "Its All Too Much". I cannot wait to read it. I am so ready to be inspired. :jump :heart

[JJsMom]

I've been on a major decluttering binge in my basement. :yes It's feels so great and it gets easier as I go! I actually might be able to fit everything under my stairs now!
I am also getting rid of old boxes and putting things in bins-if they are good enough for me to save, they are good enough to be in nice containers.
So far, I cleared out everything from under my stairs and now I'm slowly putting some of it back. I am also taking pictures of certain things that bring back memories. That's helping. It helps me to know that I can still look at it and remember it, but I don't need to hold it.
I've still got a lot of work to do. It's such a slow process when I've been a packrat for almost 29 years.
This thread is keeping me motivated!

[tree_hugger]

I've been on a major decluttering binge in my basement. :yes It's feels so great and it gets easier as I go! I actually might be able to fit everything under my stairs now!
I am also getting rid of old boxes and putting things in bins-if they are good enough for me to save, they are good enough to be in nice containers.
So far, I cleared out everything from under my stairs and now I'm slowly putting some of it back. I am also taking pictures of certain things that bring back memories. That's helping. It helps me to know that I can still look at it and remember it, but I don't need to hold it.
I've still got a lot of work to do. It's such a slow process when I've been a packrat for almost 29 years.
This thread is keeping me motivated!


Well done! Feel free to come and join us in the Decluttering In 2008 thread! Everyone is welcome. :yes :heart

http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?topic=153700.0

[JJsMom]

I just joined! I'll try to count tomorrow! :)

[crunchymum]

Discussed this thread at length with dh last night. I don't feel completely honest with him if I decide to ditch a ton of stuff while he's out of town and he has no say, kwim?


this is really good... if the person involved in the clutter isn't part of the solution to the clutter, it won't last... :no i figured that out quickly with the kids. i can go through and organize their stuff in a way that makes sense to *me*, but if they are not involved in the process, it all unravels so quickly! i remember my sisters going crazy and decluttering while my mom was gone, but all that happened was more stuff made it's way into the house. :/

That's the beauty of it - she won't set criteria or rules for you, she just supports you in doing it for yourself. That's why I really think this is a lasting change.


i love that about her - i was nervous at first because i thought she was going to come in and be the "get rid of it" nazi, :giggle and i tend to be really emotionally tied to *stuff*... she never *once* told me to get rid of anything. :no she just helped me develop my own thought process for keeping things or passing things along. :heart and you'rer right, i've become a lot more ruthless in what i toss or give away. it seems to happen in stages.

[milkmommy]

For DD toys and stuff

1) does it have all its parts?
2) have I out grown it
3) is it timeless (might out grow but might save for another child

then the "toss" pile is divided again
1)long term storage (out grown but save for another child precious little makes this)
2) truly toss (broken umm full of lead ect
3) give to another to love
4) currenty played with but chose for rotation

Clothes
does it fit
is it the right season

All nos get donated with the exception a a few special pieces ALL clothing gets donated when through

DH and I
doesn' t fit and hasn't for a year gets donated
havent used in at least 6 months or in the past season gets donated
doesn't fit gets donated
annoys the wife and husband wont miss it untill its pointed out to him a year latter gets tossed :shifty

Deanna

[Heather Micaela]

This is sort of an old thread, but I wanted to add a few other things:

So I have more than one of this needed item? If so, do I NEED more than one?

For things like dishes where you obviously need more than one the question is: What is the bare minimum of these I need? (I usually keep about 2 more over the bare minimum unless space is an issue.)

[KatieMae]

Dishes - I think having twice the number of family members is ideal, so you can have two meals w/o washing dishes.
Our original (wedding present) set of dishes is starting to get a number of them with chipped edges or altogether lost (Lilia! The SINK, not the trashcan!) so when I get down to 6 "perfect" sets, then I'm going to sell them as a set at a yard sale & buy new. We have a set of 8 now, but I'm planning to buy 12 the next time. I don't know where I'd keep 16 if I needed that many though - I'll have to make sure my next house has LOTS of storage in the kitchen!

Help me w/ cooking utensils.
I have a stand-up thing beside my stove that is JAMMED full. I use 80% of them on a regular basis, but the others are specialty ones that I *do* need to still own. I already pared down what I have & most of the seldon-used ones are laying in a hard-to-reach part of one of my cupboards. So, 1. How many things to I keep out (think: rubber scrapers for baking, spatulas - both metal & plastic for the non-stick pans, etc) and 2. Where's a good place to store the ones I need to keep but rarely use?

[joy]

I have a stand-up thing beside my stove that is JAMMED full. I use 80% of them on a regular basis, but the others are specialty ones that I *do* need to still own. I already pared down what I have & most of the seldon-used ones are laying in a hard-to-reach part of one of my cupboards. So, 1. How many things to I keep out (think: rubber scrapers for baking, spatulas - both metal & plastic for the non-stick pans, etc) and 2. Where's a good place to store the ones I need to keep but rarely use?


If those are the items you use the most, I'd say either get a larger container, or move all of the items into a convenient drawer. In general, set up the things you use a lot to be easy to get to and organized - and if they are on the counter make em look good too. Do you need to keep them in the same container?

Regarding a decluttering rule - I have one that cinched it all for me: "What do I like more, this item - or the space it is taking up?" I love space. I love an organized closet and kitchen. Sometimes I'll just realize that an object has been messing with the space for too long - and that it is now taking away from how I encounter the space. If I haven't used a bottle of skin moisturizer for months and months - toss it and come to terms with the fact that I don't use body lotions. Hair brushes? I only need one - toss the rest. Popcorn popper? Not worth having since it I rarely use it and it takes up more space "points" than happy "points". Pop on the oven. Things like that.

Also - I realized at some point that "the only person in the planet who is going to make this space pleasant is ME. I can do it." and then I ran with it. Until I got that through my head, I let myself get swamped and overwhelmed. Sometimes - just getting rid of things is the ONLY thing I can do to make a space feel good. So - once I realized I HAD to make this happen for myself, combined with realzing that I think space is awesome - it got a lot easier to let things go. When it doubt - it goes with a swiftness.

ramble ramble ramble. I fear I sound like a space cadet right about now!

[mummy2boys]

I'm in Australia, and our Oprah episodes are a few weeks (or even months ) after yours.


I REALLY need to start watching (and taping) Oprah ;)

[KatieMae]

ramble ramble ramble. I fear I sound like a space cadet right about now!


No no, don't apologize for rambling :smile Thanks for your ideas! I do have an empty drawer beside my stove, so I'm thinking I could put the necessary duplicates in there. i.e. I have three rubber scrapers, but one is my favorite (how lame is it to have a favorite scraper?! :lol) so I'll leave my fave on top in the container & the other two can go in the drawer - still accessible for baking when I need several at one time, but otherwise out of sight :woohoo

[Heather Micaela]

Dishes - I think having twice the number of family members is ideal, so you can have two meals w/o washing dishes.
I could see that as a good rule in general, but if you have a large family and a small home, that may not even be practical. Plus that could lead to an hour of dishwashing.

So for *my* family we dont have that many.

[joy]

how lame is it to have a favorite scraper?! :lol


I don't think it is lame at all! but for some reason the words, "favorite scraper" keep making me giggle. :D