sitting quietly in a restaurant-do they grow into or are they trained into it?

[Beauty4Ashes]

We don't go out to eat all that often, at least in part because up until a couple of days ago, it was just too difficult. If we did go out to eat, it was to a buffet kind of place. At least in a buffet place, you can walk around with the kiddos if they start to get restless. Thursday night we decided to go to TGIFridays. I was a bit worried because my children were tired, the meltdown factor, the getting restless factor, etc. I was pleasantly surprised. We were at the restaurant for about 1 hour and for 45 minutes, they sat in their chairs. In the last 10-15 minutes, they did start getting ansy and wanted to stand on their chairs or on this ledge and look over the glass at the other people in booths. But overall, they were quiet, they ate, they did not disturb other patrons, etc. I took Bashar to the bathroom 2x, but otherwise, they sat and chattered with us. It wasn't until this past week that I made it a rule that they had to sit in their high chairs or at the table when eating. Prior to that, they would be roaming around the house during dinner time. I wonder, though, is getting a child to sit somewhat quietly at a restaurant something that they grow into as they develop and mature? Or is it something that they can be taught to do, regardless of their ages?

[ArmsOfLove]

to some extent both--but until they are developmentally/age ready you can only get so much from them. For example, I can get my children to sit politely during the meal, but until a certain age it's ridiculous to expect them to sit at a table for a wait ;) So we usually order ahead and one of us heads to load them in the car while the other pays. Eventually they mature enough to do it all. Glad you had a great dinner :hug

[abbiroads]

I think its a little of both. Yup, what Crystal said

[sparkprincess]

I agree it's a little of both. My little guy is 3 and is MUCH better than when he was at 1-2.5. :blush We stopped going to restaurants all together for a while. Now we can actually go and enjoy ourselves again.

[mellymommy]

I agree with Crystal. With my kids it was TERRIBLE until I had a total light bulb moment and realized that I DON'T have regular at-table meals with them and if I'm not doing it at home, then why would they know to do it in public?!?!? So, we started eating all of our meals at the table and practicing polite manners and now eating out is a somewhat pleasant experience instead of a terrible, pull my hair out, cry with exhaustion and humiliation experience.

Oh, I have to mention that my ds has some sensory integration issues, so eating out for him IS harder than eating at home. All the new noises, lights, people, colors can be too much for him sometimes. I have to be SUPER-sensitive to that for him.

[GotMyHeartFull]

I agree a little of both. And having sit down meals at home where you are expected to sit till you are thru helped us alot

[Teacher Mom]

I agree a little of both. Kids make you realize how ridiculous going out to eat can really be. We stopped going for awhile when they were younger too. My son was a boy acting like a boy and unable to sit still for any real length of time.

But this past year, we took them to a nicer restaurant with us and we got there a little later than we wanted. We were given one of those vibrating light up thingees that lets you know they finally have a table for you. About a 30 minute wait. I just cannot believe how many nights PRE-CHILDREN we would waste our time doing this. We waited all the time to get a table and then had to wait for the server, wait for our food. I never realized how much actual waiting was involved when going out to dinner. I could have went to the store, purchased the food, went home, prepared it myself and had time to spare. Or went to McDonalds's and they would have been happy!!!

Sillly what we do all in the name of a night "out"...???????

[Beauty4Ashes]

That is exactly why we only went out to eat maybe 1-2x per year up until recently--that would be when my mom came to visit and wanted to take us out to eat. She thought that maybe we didn't go out to eat because we couldn't afford it and she was doing us a favor. Nope. Like you said, all the waiting and trying to get two very active boys to sit still was too much. Since dh is always studying, going out to eat meant too much waiting, time that could be better spent studying or going to the beach or something else. So in the meantime, we learned how to prepare some foods that could rival restaurant food. Works for us.

[milkmommy]

Both I believe good manners need to be taught and modeled by the parents. I also feel that maturity on the child end will mean a lot. We need to both model and set boundries but also need to remember both age appropiatness and personalily of your own child. Like for example age 2 I expected that I'd have to walk Cecilia around while we waited for our food I expected her to sit we ussually used a highchair while shes was actually eatting and I would have expected her to coperate while shes was eatting and that I could bring a few entertainment items and that would hold her for a few extra mintues. However past that we swa as a miracle and just luck :shifty
At almost 5 I expect her to sit while we wait for food but activitly talk color on the menus (if appropiate) point and comment about things shes sees and make requests to see special things depending on where we are (aquarimums in sea food places for example) I expect her to eat her food well and to quietly entertain her self and enjoy our company while we all finish. I don't expect her to sit around for hours while we all engage in long term conversations. In the future I will

Deanna

[LittleSweetPeas]

Our kids have always been amazing in restaurants. But before you think I'm cocky...we eat out....A LOT. We have eaten out about 3 or more times a week since DD1 was born 4 years ago. One of her first grown up sentences was "Can we go to a restaurant?" :giggle So I really think a lot of it comes from training and just doing it often. They both do way better in a restaurant than at grandma's house. :/

[Beauty4Ashes]

sigh, we ate at a buffet (sushi/Japanese) with my parents last week and it was more difficult than a sit down restaurant. They wanted to run around and look at the fish tank. Maybe I jinxed my luck.

[milkmommy]

:giggle :hugheart Fish tanks/ lobster tanks are cecilias undoing as well.
Oh and banks what is it about a bank lobby that makes the most well behaved complacent child act like a rabid gorillia on a sugar high??

Deanna

[Beauty4Ashes]

esp. when there's a Christmas tree or other decorations.

[milkmommy]

esp. when there's a Christmas tree or other decorations.

or those fake wraped gifts :doh must open gift mom! :no

Deanna

[LittleSweetPeas]

Yeah, I noticed our library *finally* moved the little fake apple ornaments they have hanging from a tree in the lobby. Every single time DD would run over there and start yanking on them.

[Beauty4Ashes]

And what is with the brightly colored carpeted step thingy in the children's section of the library. I guess it's meant to be sat on or something, but it screams run on me, jump on me. I know that parents have been reprimanded for their little ones jumping/rough housing on that thing.

[ellies mom]

Our kids have always been amazing in restaurants. But before you think I'm cocky...we eat out....A LOT. We have eaten out about 3 or more times a week since DD1 was born 4 years ago. One of her first grown up sentences was "Can we go to a restaurant?" :giggle So I really think a lot of it comes from training and just doing it often. They both do way better in a restaurant than at grandma's house. :/


I'm so glad to know my DD isn't the only one. The first sign Ellie used to actually communication a desire was the one for coffee because she wanted to go to Starbucks. But now at four, DH is half convinced that we have ruined her because she is always wanting to eat out.We eat out 3+ times a week too and because she has had so much practice, she does a really good job too.

[milkmommy]

I agree with the doing it often. I had to really explain that to my parents a few summers ago. Cecilia has alos as a whole done really well in restraunts as its part of her personality but... she was alos not used to going out ALL the time. That summer we ended up eatting out a ton and she went from GREAT to wanting the run around as we went.. I pointed out shes NOT used to eatting out so much we stayed home for a while ans shes was back to doing fine.
I actually make it a point of taking her out every so often so we can 'practice" plus its fun :giggle

Deanna