KatieMae
09-26-2007, 05:19 PM
At least I think it's "noncompliance"
Lilia, almost 3 years old
Almost every diaper change, bathtime, teeth/hair-brushing time or getting dressed time, she's fighting me. 1 in 5 attempts works without problem, but it usually goes like this: I tell her, in a calm, upbeat tone, that it's time to ____. She'll look away & pretend she didn't hear me. I'll say it again & she continues to ignore me. Repeat a few times, me becoming less patient each time, though I'm being mindful of it now and remain calm most times. If I move over to her & take her hand or try to lay her down for a change, she goes limp or starts wrestling away and begins to whine/cry. I usually continue talking to her calmly, reminding her what I'm doing & that she can just relax and let me do it. Well it's almost always a fight & if I give up halfway thru it, she just continues to cry & look pitiful and eventually (like, ten minutes later) come to me to finish whatever we were doing. I simply don't get it. She hasn't has any kind of emotional trauma, she's usually cuddly with me, she likes the outcome of all those things (a dry diaper, playing in the tub, having pretty brushed hair, etc) so I just don't know what else to do to help her know that she'll be fine & we just need to do it when I say so.
Oh, and I'm also mindful about the timing of these tasks - I rarely "interrupt" what she's doing, but wait for a lull in activity. Luke is really sensitive to that kind of thing, so I'm already in that habit. And just FTR, I don't punish her for doing this awful tantrum thing, but I do get angry & I'm sure she notices that.
Lilia, almost 3 years old
Almost every diaper change, bathtime, teeth/hair-brushing time or getting dressed time, she's fighting me. 1 in 5 attempts works without problem, but it usually goes like this: I tell her, in a calm, upbeat tone, that it's time to ____. She'll look away & pretend she didn't hear me. I'll say it again & she continues to ignore me. Repeat a few times, me becoming less patient each time, though I'm being mindful of it now and remain calm most times. If I move over to her & take her hand or try to lay her down for a change, she goes limp or starts wrestling away and begins to whine/cry. I usually continue talking to her calmly, reminding her what I'm doing & that she can just relax and let me do it. Well it's almost always a fight & if I give up halfway thru it, she just continues to cry & look pitiful and eventually (like, ten minutes later) come to me to finish whatever we were doing. I simply don't get it. She hasn't has any kind of emotional trauma, she's usually cuddly with me, she likes the outcome of all those things (a dry diaper, playing in the tub, having pretty brushed hair, etc) so I just don't know what else to do to help her know that she'll be fine & we just need to do it when I say so.
Oh, and I'm also mindful about the timing of these tasks - I rarely "interrupt" what she's doing, but wait for a lull in activity. Luke is really sensitive to that kind of thing, so I'm already in that habit. And just FTR, I don't punish her for doing this awful tantrum thing, but I do get angry & I'm sure she notices that.