11mo hitting

[CapeTownMommy]

Dd is almost 11 months now, and she's started hitting me in the face when I hold her. I'm pretty sure it's related to her learning how to wave bye-bye in the last week (same arm action, but now with the added benefit of an interesting clap sound when her hand connects with my face). It's not malicious, I'm absolutely sure she doesn't mean to hurt me. But how do I stop her? What I've done is to say "no" with a stern voice, while taking her hand away from my face and holding it for a second. Then I'll release it and let her try again, up to 2 times. But if she keeps hitting I put her down. I want her to understand that it's something I do not want her to do, without punishing her for it or hurting or harming her in the lesson. No improvement so far, so I thought I'd ask for ideas? I'm very new to the whole idea of gentle parenting so I'm not sure how to apply it.

[hink4687]

Ah...we definitely went through this a lot at this age. I would try and catch him when he went to hit and do high five instead. And remind him to hit my hand, not my face and make a game of it. There were some days it worked beautifully and some days it didn't at all. Depended on his moods. If it didn't work I would tell him to touch soft and if he wouldn't I would set him down and tell him mommy can't hold you if you hurt me.

[CapeTownMommy]

Great idea on the high-five, thanks. I tried it and it seems that she likes the sound of hands clapping even more than the sound of a slap in mommy's face so hopefully we have a winner!

[hink4687]

Oh yay! I'm so glad!

[Katigre]

Here is what I did (and do) with DS that worked really well:

When he hits I catch his hand to stop him and say "Gentle touch, no hitting" and help him gently stroke the place he hit. After a few times he 'got' what gentle touch meant so that was easy to redirect him towards when he did hit (still physically stopping his hand).

When he hit more than once I would put him down and say that I would not hold him while he was hitting. Sometimes he got upset about this and I reflected his feelings ("You want to be held right now") and then would pick him back up and remind him "Gentle touch."