script help needed for screaming

[Tanyia]

So dd is 31 months...when she gets really upset at something she's been told no about she starts SCREAMING at the top of her lungs...this JUST started last night and is normally only at dh (it's happened twice but it seems to be a huge red button issue for dh. I interrupted the screaming match that ensued tonight by picking up dd and telling her 'you may not scream at daddy, you need to use your words, screaming doesn't tell anyone anything (that last part was specifically for dh :shift) Dh is on board with gbd :yes but doesn't have as many tools in his tool box yet.

[~yogamom~]

hmmm... i don't have a 36-month-er yet, but would it help to remove her from the situation when she starts to scream and take her somewhere less desirable? not as a time-out, but as a "screaming does not happen here" type of thing. when my toddler dd climbs the couch and tries to pull the blinds off the window, i immediately remove her from the living room and shut the doors-- she is learning that if she engages in that behavior, she will no longer be able to go in the "fun" living room. is that helpful? if not, i hope you get help from the other wonderful mamas on this board! :heart

[The Tickle Momster]

I think you did fine. :hug I might also reflect feelings. "You really wanted that ball. " etc.

dh home. will check tomorrow.

[Amber]

There are a couple of things that I do when my 3yo starts screaming. I will reflect his feelings. "You sound very mad/angry/sad etc. You may not scream at mommy, you need to use your words" Sometimes that is all that is needed to help him calm down. If he continues to scream I let him know that if he wants to scream like that then he needs to do it in his room, and I help him there if needed.

[Spanish Rose]

Since it just started, I'd ask myself why it might have occurred. Start looking for patterns to the behavior so you can prevent triggers and all that.

But I think you handled it really well. Was she screaming words, or just shrieking?

One thing I have noticed is that my kiddos respond much better when I tell them what TO do, not what NOT to do. So instead of telling her not to yell, I'd tell her to use her quiet voice.

There's a book called Dealing With Disappointment by Elizabeth Cary, I believe. It's a great book of ideas on teaching the children how to control their emotions. There was an ongoing thread about it a while ago, I'll bump it for you.