SouthPaw
09-11-2007, 12:39 PM
:think Since I come from punitive roots sometimes I see *everything* as punitive even if it's not :giggle So tell me if this is ok or not.
This is when we are in the living room for whatever reason (watching tv, playing, on computer, grooming the dog, etc). I keep the playpen in there so DD2 can be right with us while I am cleaning or eating (next to dining room) without being ms. mischief ;) DD1 has been doing a couple of things lately that we are currently teaching her to avoid, namely, climbing on the couch back, pushing her sister over, and sometimes recently getting very excited and hitting at people or faces :think.
Usually we do some sort of redirection, "make it happen" (taking her or moving her physically), having her do gentle touches, having her sit in Her Chair (which she loves), and really a lot of other gentle tools. Every now and then she gets in that kind of manic 2 year old testing mindset where she repeatedly and as fast as she can does what she is Not Supposed to, with the big grin and the really hyper movements, ya know? So I will tell her that I need to keep her/her sister safe and help her calm down. We move her into the playpen and either I stand there and talk her down - have her repeat to me what she is supposed to do, and pick her up to come out when she is calm and in control again - or if she does her "mommy NOOOO" and whaps at me i will leave her alone (figuratively speaking since i am 6 feet away elsewhere in the room) until she asks "mommy out?" and once again have her repeat what she is supposed to do and let her out and thank her for calming down.
:think so, the reactionary side of me says, "ahhh, it is a time out"! but the logical side says "she is with you, she is learning to calm, it is keeping her and others safe until she calms down and regains control" and so it is not.
FWIW bear hugging turns her into a screaming maniacal child :shifty so in some ways this seems like a *lower* coercion (since she has bodily freedom) way of performing what a 'bear hug' is supposed to do - help her regain control.
thoughts? be honest :shifty i'm not attached to the idea, but i must admit it is working, so i hope it's ok :shifty
This is when we are in the living room for whatever reason (watching tv, playing, on computer, grooming the dog, etc). I keep the playpen in there so DD2 can be right with us while I am cleaning or eating (next to dining room) without being ms. mischief ;) DD1 has been doing a couple of things lately that we are currently teaching her to avoid, namely, climbing on the couch back, pushing her sister over, and sometimes recently getting very excited and hitting at people or faces :think.
Usually we do some sort of redirection, "make it happen" (taking her or moving her physically), having her do gentle touches, having her sit in Her Chair (which she loves), and really a lot of other gentle tools. Every now and then she gets in that kind of manic 2 year old testing mindset where she repeatedly and as fast as she can does what she is Not Supposed to, with the big grin and the really hyper movements, ya know? So I will tell her that I need to keep her/her sister safe and help her calm down. We move her into the playpen and either I stand there and talk her down - have her repeat to me what she is supposed to do, and pick her up to come out when she is calm and in control again - or if she does her "mommy NOOOO" and whaps at me i will leave her alone (figuratively speaking since i am 6 feet away elsewhere in the room) until she asks "mommy out?" and once again have her repeat what she is supposed to do and let her out and thank her for calming down.
:think so, the reactionary side of me says, "ahhh, it is a time out"! but the logical side says "she is with you, she is learning to calm, it is keeping her and others safe until she calms down and regains control" and so it is not.
FWIW bear hugging turns her into a screaming maniacal child :shifty so in some ways this seems like a *lower* coercion (since she has bodily freedom) way of performing what a 'bear hug' is supposed to do - help her regain control.
thoughts? be honest :shifty i'm not attached to the idea, but i must admit it is working, so i hope it's ok :shifty