How to handle--DS is jealous of affection towards DH

[railyuh]

Lately Josh has become very possessive of me. When DH and I show any physical attention towards each other, even just a hug or sitting next to each other on the couch, he gets very upset, cries, starts yelling, "no no no!" and will start signing "milk" or come over and start trying to pull us apart or get between us. When it is just that we don't mind, we just pull him in the middle and give him cuddles and kisses and I let him nurse if he wants too. But even that sometimes upsets him, he wants DH to go away and have me to himself and he'll get more and more upset if DH tries to cuddle or play with him during this time. Sometimes he even starts hitting, pinching, and biting DH, which is what we are having the hardest time with. We tell him that biting hurts and daddy doesn't like getting bit and suggest that he give kisses and hugs instead--it doesn't seem to change anything. I usually wind up having to take DS to the next room and nurse him until he can calm down.

He's 19 months old. Most of the time he is fine with DH and loves playing and cuddling with him. He loves his daddy time like his bath or the mornings on the weekend when I get to sleep in, etc. It's only when he sees me and DH together that he gets like this. I don't really know what to do, I don't think we should just avoid sitting next to each other, we're married! And I'd like to be able to hug my husband and get a kiss when he comes home.

Am I missing something? Any suggestions or ideas about how to handle this?

Please help! Thanks!

[OpalsMom]

DD went through this phase, too. And it amused her grandparents, who remembered DH trying to separate them when he was a toddler!

We treated hitting, biting etc. the same as in all other situations ("That hurts. I'm not going to let you hurt me. If you're angry you can...")

We hugged and kissed or held hands, but not necessarily for extended amounts of time. We would also include her. We didn't let her separate us (so if I was holding her and DH put his arm around me and she tried to pry his fingers off, I put her down -- if you can't share, you can't have). So, like Rene, we set boundaries, but we did also modify our behaviour a little, so it wasn't impossibly challenging for her. And it passed.

Oh, yeah, and we also did a lot on the subject of loving multiple people.