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ronanbug
09-07-2007, 09:56 AM
My DS is 14 months old and DH and I are using gentle discipline but my parents are "spankers." They have never spanked DS but my parents have told me they think I am too permissive. DS is a very spirited child. He literally bounces off the walls from the moment he wakes until the moment he falls asleep. When he isn't bouncing, he is climbing everything...chairs, tables, desks. He is also very inquisitive and the word "no" is an invitation to explore for him. DH and I are trying to use redirection instead of the word "no" because of this. But my parents think I should be more stern with him i.e smacking his hands or yelling at him. They watch him two days a week while I am at school and my mother told me yesterday that she has started to put her fingers on his mouth and tell him "yucky" when he sticks things in his mouth. He likes to taste everything...rocks, dirt, shoes. I don't mind because I see this as his way of exploring but my mother freaks out about it. This of course has caused him to start sticking things in his mouth, smiling and putting his fingers on his lips before breaking out into laughter. He has also started running around saying "no, no, no" to everything. My parents use this phrase a lot at their house.

I don't know if I should just let this go and relax a bit or if I should say something. I haven't told my parents yet that we are using GD because it would probably upset them. My parents are both pastors and they would feel that I was not following God's plan for raising my son. I have explained redirection to my mother and she understands it because she works at a daycare but as DS gets older and more rambunctious I fear that spankings are in the near future and I am trying to figure out how to talk with my parents to get them to understand. I am 34 and still feel like a child sometimes because I fear my parents disapproval.

Aisling
09-07-2007, 10:14 AM
:hugs

I could have written your post 2 years ago, to a "t", including the high energy toddler. :giggle :hug

You're doing a great job. Redirecting is your best plan of action at this stage. :yes

Eventually, you'll have to put your foot down and let your folks know that no one will be spanking your son. However, you need not feel compelled by any means to defend your position. Your word is final. This is your son, your family and your home, and they had their turn at parenting. This is your show, and you have every reason to be confident in your parenting choices. :rockon

I found the 18mo stage with my firstborn to be a time of "growing up" myself, and cutting some of the apron strings that still held me to my parents. That doesn't mean you don't love them and value them, it just means that you're growing more independant in a healthy way yourself, and that you're stepping into your own role of protector and nurturer for your own son. :heart :heart

Welcome to the board!! :cup :oreo

ronanbug
09-07-2007, 05:33 PM
Thank you so much. I actually spoke with my mom today about it and she is on board. Now to talk with my father. Thanks again.