Spanish Rose
09-01-2007, 11:55 AM
I've been trying something new with Snapdragon. I've been teaching him all about chivalry. Just talking to him about being chivalrous, what it means, why it's important, and how wonderful it makes others feel. I've emphasized that it's not because his sisters are in any way inferior to him, but that they are different, and chivalry is all about recognizing and respecting those differences. And it's been working beautifully.
I realized that telling him to stop doing something, like being rude to hi sisters, isn't very successful. Teaching him HOW to do something, on the other hand, is like a miracle. And since I've started emphasizing chivalry I've noticed a real decrease in the number of altracations we have between him and his sisters. He's still difficult when he's mad, but he seems to have stopped teasing just because he's bored, and has learned a lot of positive behaviors. He's very willing now to help his sisters out when they need help with something, carrying heavy loads for them and the like. I can't think of anyway to describe it except that he's very considerate to us all now, and the positive attitude he spreads is contagious. I've made sure to point that out to him.
He still has daily moments of unkindness and temper. But now he has this kind, caring side of him that people can finally see, and that makes it easier.
All this is to say that people like Mary are right when they say to focus on teaching your children what TO do. And Crystal knows what she's talking about when she says to teach your boys to be men. Thank you both for pointing me in the right direction. I hope my post is at least a fraction as helpful to someone else. :heart
I realized that telling him to stop doing something, like being rude to hi sisters, isn't very successful. Teaching him HOW to do something, on the other hand, is like a miracle. And since I've started emphasizing chivalry I've noticed a real decrease in the number of altracations we have between him and his sisters. He's still difficult when he's mad, but he seems to have stopped teasing just because he's bored, and has learned a lot of positive behaviors. He's very willing now to help his sisters out when they need help with something, carrying heavy loads for them and the like. I can't think of anyway to describe it except that he's very considerate to us all now, and the positive attitude he spreads is contagious. I've made sure to point that out to him.
He still has daily moments of unkindness and temper. But now he has this kind, caring side of him that people can finally see, and that makes it easier.
All this is to say that people like Mary are right when they say to focus on teaching your children what TO do. And Crystal knows what she's talking about when she says to teach your boys to be men. Thank you both for pointing me in the right direction. I hope my post is at least a fraction as helpful to someone else. :heart