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View Full Version : Taking a different approach w/C and his room.. WDYT?


hey mommy
08-27-2007, 04:43 PM
I've decided to take a different approach in regards to C cleaning his room. He doesn't want to, so making him is going to be a HUGE fight, which I'm not up for.

So I decided that if he wants to watch TV or have computer time(things that are now off limits unless mommy says so, and then only for about an hour), then he has to clean his room. I'll help him, but he has to actually do it. And if that means the room is clean tomorrow, then good, he can watch TV or have 'puter time tomorrow.. If he doesn't clean it until Friday, then no computer/TV until Friday.

Is that too punitive? Or is that rewarding him for cleaning his room?

I just have to get DH to go along w/me....

thomer
08-27-2007, 04:46 PM
Well, I don't think it's punitive. Work comes before play. I do that for myself - no GCM before chores (well, I try :shifty )

However, if you stood over him picking every little tiny piece of dust out and making him redo everything because you don't want him access to the TV - that would be punitive. :wink

Marsha
08-27-2007, 06:10 PM
I decreased dd's possessions by about 3/4. She still has PLENTY believe me. And I just do walk throughs and clean. And when she's in there with me, she helps. Really, she doesn't "get" it and she doesn't want ti clean she likes all her stuff out where she can see it, and It bugs me. So I take the bigger responsibility for it.
And I am respectful and leave a big ole mess when she tells me (and it's obvious) that she has some sort o f ongoing "game" going on with this big pile of stuff on the floor.

hey mommy
08-27-2007, 06:19 PM
We've gotten rid of TONS of stuff already. he still has WAY too much.. It's pathetic..

Marsha
08-27-2007, 06:27 PM
We've gotten rid of TONS of stuff already. he still has WAY too much.. It's pathetic..


I know, how does it even happen???? We considers ourselves "low consumers" too!

ShangriLewis
08-27-2007, 06:37 PM
He is 5 right?

With my 5 year old boys I always help. I get rid of stuff if they can't handle it, too. You can pack it under your bed, in the attic, garage, or off to grammy's house. Trade out in a few months, it's so exciting for them.

Cars go in a box, blocks in a box, people in a box, animals in a box. My kids have always loved doing it that way. And, so has other children that come over.

I use dishpans (they are usually a 1 for the smaller size which is really kid friendly) a lot and they can often just slide under the bed if you don't have anything under there. We do still have some things like lego's and stuff in bigger bins in a off limits closet. But, I keep out all the cars, people, blocks and the train set.

Puzzles and games get broken down from boxes to ziplocs whenever possible. That way they can all go in a small shelf and not in the child's bedroom.

hey mommy
08-27-2007, 06:41 PM
He has stuff to organize his room.. organizing it isn't a problem.. I guess no one saw the pics of it today... After school, while I was cleaning the kitchen, he went in and dumped out allof his organizers and pulled all the toys out of the toybox. They are now all over the floors.. I posted pics. on the other board..

WI Mama05
08-27-2007, 06:51 PM
I do something similar with Rachel. We do a "bedtime boogie" where she has to pick up an area before we go upstairs for bed (usually either her room, the playroom or the livingroom).

She doesn't usually want to do it, but I've told her that if I need to pick it up, then I get to play with that toy exclusively for a while. ;) She doesn't want to hand her toys over to me, so she usually will pick up her area without any problems. If she's feeling exceptionally tired or off, I will help her no problem, but I don't want to be doing it all for her. :shrug :no2 She made the mess, she needs to learn to clean up after herself. I've only put up a half dozen toys in about as many months.

joyful mama
08-28-2007, 07:08 AM
I think I'd help a little more than that, personally. Meaning, I wouldn't just wiat for him to decide when to clean his room all week. I'd 'make it happen' sooner. For example, clean up time is before lunch, before bed, etc. Or, institute a 'that toy/set of toys goes away before the next one does. We sing a clean up song, that helps. Sandy actually likes helping to clean and enjoys doing it with me most of the time ;)

SouthPaw
08-28-2007, 07:33 AM
I know yours is older :hug but we have 2 (sometimes three) clean up times every day. In the morning, before daddy comes home, and before bed time. I clean up the house, and sing the cheesy clean up song, and then help DD pick up and re-organize all her toys. Maybe just make "clean up" time into your routine? That way it's not a surprise for him that he has to clean up before he gets to do something else. Also, I notice it makes me a little less stressed out, b/c instead of spending the whole day wishing the mess wasn't there, I am ok knowing that at 9,5, and 7 it will be gone, at least momentarily.

I wonder if for an older kid it would also kinda make him think before pulling stuff down :think knowing that it's just more work for him to do later.

hey mommy
08-28-2007, 07:41 AM
Okay, let me clarify... It's this ONE time. YEs, i will help him. YES, i normally help him. We do have pick up times. We will, if he wants to watch tv today, be picking it up today after school.

My son does NOT like to help me clean. Okay. I've tried. He's not one of those kids who thinks it's really cool to help mom. I envy those of you who have kids like that.

Anyway, it's getting cleaned up today..

MarynMunchkins
08-28-2007, 07:52 AM
Yes, I think it's fine. Work often comes before play, and this is one of those cases. :)

SouthPaw
08-28-2007, 07:57 AM
Oh, ok, Yeah, I agree with Mary.

me
08-28-2007, 08:04 AM
Same here...has to's before the want to's in our house too.
What works for us as they get older is, clean the room before you leave it. If they want to have several things going, thats ok , as long as the room is put back when they leave. That way im not putting more importance or fun on thing over the other. If the computer is in the same room as the toys no biggie, they can do either, but the room has to be clean before they move on in the house.

..... :hug2.....I think it should be said that although he doesnt like helping you clean, it is in fact YOU who are helping HIM clean, at this age. His toys, his room, his mess. "Thanks mom for helping clean his room". :heart

JessicaTX
08-28-2007, 08:10 AM
Man...if my kid walked into their clean room and dumped out every toy then refused to clean it up, I think I'd be clearing the room of ALL toys for a bit. Maybe leave one, and when he can put that one away consistantly give him another until he can keep his room clean.

That would frustrate me terribly, I feel for you.