She hits them at our house..what do we do?

[Freetobeme24]

Hi,

I just wanted some insight about this situation.

My sis in law is quite punitive with her dc and sometimes when she is at our house. Either

A: Her little one (19 mon)is hitting my ds(28mon) and my ds looks at me as if he is saying 'hey mom, you wanna help me out over here" and it breaks my heart because my little one smiles when others hit him..how do I help ds? Mom and dad are standing RIGHT there and they aren't saying anything and I don't want to butt heads with sis in law, but at the same time, I don't like my ds being hit :/

B: She sometimes hits dc right in our house for the smallest things and it makes me feel VERY awkward!!

Any insight? Thoughts?

[MarynMunchkins]

I have a token "no spanking/hitting" rule in my house, and I make sure houseguests know it up front. If someone can't handle not spanking for a couple hours while we hang out, they have more issues than my rule. ;)

AFA your ds being hit, I have no problem intervening and using GBD with other children. But at those ages, remember that he's still pretty little and a "gentle hand" reminder is probably enough. :)

[Freetobeme24]

I have a token "no spanking/hitting" rule in my house, and I make sure houseguests know it up front. If someone can't handle not spanking for a couple hours while we hang out, they have more issues than my rule. ;)

AFA your ds being hit, I have no problem intervening and using GBD with other children. But at those ages, remember that he's still pretty little and a "gentle hand" reminder is probably enough. :)


Thanks for responding! How do you tell them? Do you just say it when they walk in the door? You know what? I am gonna try gentle hands with my newphew, I do it with my son, duh...me... :doh :doh :doh

[MarynMunchkins]

I'd probably just talk to them the next time they come over. Tell them you've committed to positive discipline with your child and don't want him to see spanking or physical punishment at all. Tell them that from now on, if they feel the need to do that, they need to step outside.

[Wonder Woman]

what Mary said - and then go to http://nospank.net and request some free stickers :shifty The one I have on my fridge says 'Non-Violence begins at home' and has the no spanking symbol :giggle

[BHope]

I agree with intervening on your childs behalf. At 18 months that little kiddo has very little or no self control. If he's a hitter (my eldest was) then he needs parents involved with him 24/7 to prevent him from hitting other kids. Since it's your child being hit, I would suggest just getting down on their level and playing with them.

"Gentle hands" is a great non-confrontational way you can resolve the situation without coming across as parenting another person's child. Another idea is redirection. Change the hit into a "high five."

With my neices and nephews, who are much older than 18 months (6, 4.5, and 2.5), I am not above sending them to their parent.

"Oh dear. We don't hit in this house. Why don't you go sit with your mommy until you can play gently." I make sure and enforce the same boundaries with my own children, so really it's not an issue of favoritism but an issue of keeping everyone safe and keeping playtime fun.

With regards to spanking in your home. It really is your home, your rules.

[Freetobeme24]

what Mary said - and then go to http://nospank.net and request some free stickers :shifty The one I have on my fridge says 'Non-Violence begins at home' and has the no spanking symbol :giggle


Hey,

We just found our stickers the other day and are thinking of putting one on the door and one by the fridge :think :yes

Babyhopes- That is a good idea! I think the reason it got that way is because we were in transition and I was in the house putting up groceries as they were just coming to my house, while my dh was getting info off the computer for his sister. It was a little chaotic when I think I about it. I just don't like to see them getting hit, but I won't lie, I AM SERIOUSLY LACKING the gall to say something to my hubby's sis and her boyfriend about it. Do you think he should do it? They already think we are weird anyway! :P~