Still throwing things and now she is biting

[mom2_AthruZ]

Ok I have never had to deal with these behaviors in my other two at 2.5...not even in my 8yo who has a mood disorder. Emi is still throwing things.

http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?topic=124848.msg1218689#msg1218689

She is still throwing things. She refuses to throw her soft blocks at all. I offer angry dances and throwing the angries away but those aren't working anymore . :shrug :hunh. redirection will work sometimes but today it took me about 10min to turn her focus away from throwing things. Now to add to the list she is biting her sisters when she doesn't get something she wants, or they are in her way etc. I feel that if I take her to the comfort corner everytime this happens then she will just keep doing these things because she gets me to herself.

I'm looking for help with dialogue when she bites and how do I help her understand that she needs to apologize/make amends?

[MarynMunchkins]

I feel that if I take her to the comfort corner everytime this happens then she will just keep doing these things because she gets me to herself.

If you're proactive about spending time with just her, do you think it would help the behavior?

[AmyDoll]

:yes It sounds like maybe she is needing more mommy time.

Does she have words? Lots of times children bite bc they can't communicate effectively.

[ArmsOfLove]

I wanted to add (will try to come back later) that it's odd that your others didn't throw things. It's normal to throw them ;)

[mom2_AthruZ]

If you're proactive about spending time with just her, do you think it would help the behavior?

That's what is confusing to me, she gets a lot of time with just me. The bigs play together in their rooms and when Ace naps she is usually up and she has me all to herself. We cuddle, read, build with blocks, play with playdough, you name it we do it. She even gets mad when the bigs just ask a question while we are playing. She tries to talk over them, she doesn't like to share me with them.

Does she have words? Lots of times children bite bc they can't communicate effectively.

She has an excellent vocabulary. The biting happens when the bigs won't give her what she wants. Her frustration builds and she bites. So it is like she can't communicate at that moment, but in everyday calmness she communicates up a storm. :yes

I wanted to add (will try to come back later) that it's odd that your others didn't throw things. It's normal to throw them

They probably did, it's been a long time. ;) But I definitely don't remember it being a constant, everyday, "I'm going to throw things until you give me what I want" meltdown. If she is told she can't nurse, or climb, or take a bath, or whatever she asks for she starts launching things. :duck

[AmyDoll]

Can you head off the biting - like when you notice her getting more frustrated, script her?
When she's throwing can you hold her arms and reflect her feelings REALLY REALLY BIG? Get as big as she's feeling and then bring her back down.

[mom2_AthruZ]

Can you head off the biting - like when you notice her getting more frustrated, script her?
When she's throwing can you hold her arms and reflect her feelings REALLY REALLY BIG? Get as big as she's feeling and then bring her back down.


I have been able to head it off a couple of times. The other times I seem to have always been in the middle of nursing or changing a diaper and unable to get there in time.

I will try to reflect her feelings really big the next time she starts throwing.I hadn't thought about it the way you are describing.

I'm still wondering what to do after she bites someone. I usually say "Biting hurts, ow! You may not bite. I'm sorry _______." It just feels like there should be more because she has really hurt her sister.

[AmyDoll]

"Teeth are for food and people are not food. You may bite an apple." That was the refrain in our house. I don't remember Sam biting in frustration tho - so I can't give btdt advice. Maybe keep a bite-able toy near by - maybe attached to a paci clip? :shrug I'm not sure.

I think modeling/encouraging an "Are you OK? I'm sorry. Let's get some ice" would be a good way to make amends.

[Freetobeme24]

Hi,

I am so not an expert at any of this, but my ds, 28 months is getting better with this.

He still takes a bite out of dh and I when he is : just meeting new people, overly excited, frustrated. In these situations, I remind him that teeth are not for biting as I am loosing his teeth from my arm. I can actually feel him getting tense with those situations so I do a lot of reflecting feelings, because he doesn't have the words to say, 'hey mom, these people are making me kinda nervous, could you help me out here?

We are in the throwing stage in our house where golf balls(plastic), clothes, shoes, books and things like that are being launched daily. We usually say something like books are for reading, shoes are for our feet. BUT we also noticed that he has a pretty nice arm about him, so we try to take him outside to throw stuff. We may have to get him into some sports as he gets older because he loves to throw things. Hey, he could be the net Barry Bonds!! :P~

Do you think maybe it's a phase that may pass? :hugheart

[illinoismommy]

My first thought when reading your opening post was that she is attention seeking so give her more positive attention when she does positive things (start with even small things that you're used to her doing well and comment how she does that really well) and less attention when she does negative, not ignore it, just don't let her feel that is the best way to get her mommy to focus on her