Love and Logic books, videos

[harmonyfarms]

Our church is doing a seminar on the parenting style of "Love and Logic" (see www.loveandlogic.com).

Anyone done this? Thoughts?

[mom2boys]

I really like them. That being said, there are a few references to spanking-but few. They really gave me a lot of ideas and reasons behind natural consequences, kwim? I haven't taken a class, but I have a couple of the books.

ya know, I bought my book when it was printed the first time and ds #1 was maybe 4 or 5....and I know they've been updated since then... :scratch So I might not really know what I'm talking about. :lol

I like the philosophy of it, though. Natural consequences and listening.

there.
you don't need the class or the book. I just gave you the cliff notes version. rofl!!

[ArmsOfLove]

It's better than many programs but if you use it with a young child it's incredibly punitive. Before a child is even developing logic (which is happening starting at age 10 with pre-logic starting around age 8) logical consequences are just punitive.

It's important to understand that this program is focused on logical consequences--not natural. You can't *impose* a natural consequence--they are what happens if you don't prevent them. Logical consequences, when they fit Jane Nelson's guidelines for Solutions, are great--but they aren't the *answer* to discipline :shrug

[kazoo]

It's better than many programs but if you use it with a young child it's incredibly punitive.


yah, some aspects of it are punitive. I encountered Love and Logic as a struggling substitute teacher, before I knew about GBD. What struck me about LnL -- that I think is in sync w/ GD (someone correct me if I'm wrong!) -- is that you cannot control what the child will do, but you *can* control what you do. Eg, "I listen to people who are not whining." Also, I watched a video of him (argh, forgot his name) in the classroom and appreciated how he redirected the energy of kids who would have otherwise been "troublemakers" -- eg, one boy couldn't hardly stay in his seat, so he had him help write stuff on the board. He also conveyed respect for the kids (by not assuming they were trying to "be bad") and didn't place himself in opposition to them.

That said, one story that sticks out in my mind that I didn't agree with was his parents threatening to have their mean neighbor babysit him if he didn't behave, and that this was being used as an example of a parenting technique. Threats are uncalled for at any age, IMHO.

[IChooseFaith]

glad for this thread - this LnL was suggested to us & I have been holding off getting it ...

[harmonyfarms]

Original poster here. We just finished the class at church and overall I'm pretty happy with it. There are some great tips on giving kids choices. There are a few things that I don't agree with, but with any parenting approach (GBD included) you have to do what is right for your family. I love the empathy that you use with your kids. Stops lots of arguing!

[allisonintx]

They were my stopping ground between spanking and here.

[ChristmasGirl]

FYI, they no longer condone spanking :tu http://www.loveandlogic.com/pages/spanking.html

[mom2boys]

Before a child is even developing logic (which is happening starting at age 10 with pre-logic starting around age 8) logical consequences are just punitive.

that makes a lot of sense. I haven't looked at it from that view before. Thanks for pointing that out!

It's important to understand that this program is focused on logical consequences--not natural. You can't *impose* a natural consequence--they are what happens if you don't prevent them.

Again, not the angle I had been coming at this from. Gives me a lot to chew on!

[jenny_islander]

My oldest sister loves this method. She says that before she went to a Love & Logic presentation, there was a lot of yelling and ignoring going on in her home. The example she gave me: Her youngest daughter continually made her late by dawdling every morning over getting dressed. With Love & Logic, she told her calmly, "If you don't get dressed by the time we have to leave, you will arrive at preschool in your pajamas and I will send some clothes along with you." So there was dawdling and my sister called the preschool to explain that Olivia would be arriving in her PJs with her play clothes in a bag, and why. And she did it. And it never happened again.

I'm not sure what to think about this. :shrug

[mama-hobbit]

:popcorn

We're currently reading the books 'cause dh has to for work... I'm enjoying them for the most part, and they really have re-centered my focus on my own behavior as a parent. I agree that some of the things for younger kids seem rather punitive, but mine are all pretty 'locigal' - or at least close.