Chris3jam
08-21-2007, 10:20 AM
I feel so helpless and hopeless when it comes to the kids. :(
Every little thing. Just, every little thing is just such a struggle. I feel paralyzed. I mean, how do I make things happen with them? They're not little any more. :(
Dh told them to go outside today and work on the yard. He told them specifically what to do. Do X, Y, Z, before the heat of the day hits. They understood. Well, they get downstairs, open the garage door to get the tools, and start destroying toy cars . .. . banging them with a hammer. Ok, how, exactly, is that working in the yard? :( So I brought them in right away, and they nonchalantly say, "We were going to play first, then work." I said, "That's not what dad told you to do. You do the work first, then you can play." They shrugged, and just quit. "OK, so we won't play."
Yesterday, I think I did the right thing, but A, especially, just doesn't get it. We were at the store, after dog obedience class, getting a couple of things we needed. I told him to stay with me. I told them all to stay with me. Well, A found a ball-play-toy thing, and was "bowling". He didn't listen to a word I said. Yes, he heard me. He just would look at me and keep doing what he was doing. So, I'm checking out, the other 2 are with me, and I bought them little lollipops. As we're walking out the door, A comes running to me. And then throws a massive fit because I was totally unfair about not getting *him* a lollipop. Well, I explained why. And he still kept throwing hate and vile attitude, saying that he hates me because it was my fault because he didn't get one. He's *nine* for Pete's sake! I explained why he didn't get one (a logical consequence of not being with me and staying with me. . . he wasn't even there to ask what flavor). He *refuses* (*any* of my children refuse) to take *any* responsibility at all for any of his (their) actions. It's *always* someone else's fault. If I catch a single kid, by himself, doing something wrong, and I point it out and deal with it, the reaction of that child is to yell his brother's or sister's name, accuse them (even though they aren't even in the room :hunh), saying "Thanks a lot!", go into the other room, find a sibling and hurt them. :hunh :scratch :shrug :*(
I feel I have no options with dealing with my kids. I don't know what to do. I feel that I hate my kids. :*( I think I really need to send them to school, because I cannot stand to be around them. :*( I *hate* feeling this way.
Every little thing. Just, every little thing is just such a struggle. I feel paralyzed. I mean, how do I make things happen with them? They're not little any more. :(
Dh told them to go outside today and work on the yard. He told them specifically what to do. Do X, Y, Z, before the heat of the day hits. They understood. Well, they get downstairs, open the garage door to get the tools, and start destroying toy cars . .. . banging them with a hammer. Ok, how, exactly, is that working in the yard? :( So I brought them in right away, and they nonchalantly say, "We were going to play first, then work." I said, "That's not what dad told you to do. You do the work first, then you can play." They shrugged, and just quit. "OK, so we won't play."
Yesterday, I think I did the right thing, but A, especially, just doesn't get it. We were at the store, after dog obedience class, getting a couple of things we needed. I told him to stay with me. I told them all to stay with me. Well, A found a ball-play-toy thing, and was "bowling". He didn't listen to a word I said. Yes, he heard me. He just would look at me and keep doing what he was doing. So, I'm checking out, the other 2 are with me, and I bought them little lollipops. As we're walking out the door, A comes running to me. And then throws a massive fit because I was totally unfair about not getting *him* a lollipop. Well, I explained why. And he still kept throwing hate and vile attitude, saying that he hates me because it was my fault because he didn't get one. He's *nine* for Pete's sake! I explained why he didn't get one (a logical consequence of not being with me and staying with me. . . he wasn't even there to ask what flavor). He *refuses* (*any* of my children refuse) to take *any* responsibility at all for any of his (their) actions. It's *always* someone else's fault. If I catch a single kid, by himself, doing something wrong, and I point it out and deal with it, the reaction of that child is to yell his brother's or sister's name, accuse them (even though they aren't even in the room :hunh), saying "Thanks a lot!", go into the other room, find a sibling and hurt them. :hunh :scratch :shrug :*(
I feel I have no options with dealing with my kids. I don't know what to do. I feel that I hate my kids. :*( I think I really need to send them to school, because I cannot stand to be around them. :*( I *hate* feeling this way.