Unconditional Parenting or Easy to Love Difficult to Discipline

[GotMyHeartFull]

I was blessed to find both of these in the thrift store recently and am wondering is one better than the other? Good points, bad points of each one?
Which one would you recomend reading first? (dh deployed 4 kiddos so my reading time is limited to say the least :giggle ) I have a 12 1/2 yo, 9 1/2 yo 6 yo and 3 yo if that matters at all.
TIA!! :heart

[Spanish Rose]

Unconditional Parenting isn't always well received here. Some think it vears too close to permissivness. Personally, I love it. It is, however, a mainly philosophical work, so if you need practical solutions, read ETLDTD first.

[Joanne]

It doesn't matter. I much prefer ETLDTD in terms of theory and practicality.

[graceful mama]

Unconditional Parenting has some good points about building up children and being positive towards them. However, it does not believe in a sin nature so thinks that even if a kid is being willful that it is ok. So I'd have to agree with the overly permissive opinion on it. However, I still found a lot of good in it. Another thing is that it is kind of like the pendulum swung to the opp extreme in regards to praise. Alfie thinks that *any* sort of praise is not good. And that it is manipulative because our children shouldn't be swayed by wanting to please us. While I gather he is reacting to the extreme of a prior generation that motivated by guilt, I still think, espec in a Biblical context, that our children should want to please us - and likewise we should want to please them.

I am not familiar with the other book. Maybe I should add it to my wanted list. :)

[hiddenhippie6]

:popcorn

[ArmsOfLove]

The problem isn't actually with UP--it's with what has been done with it--it has been co-opted by the TCS community. It's a good foundational book and I didn't disagree with much in it--but it's short on practicality and tools. I'd recommend it if you need help with foundational ideas :) As for ETLDTD--it's one that many people find helpful, practical, and full of theory and tools :tu

[MarynMunchkins]

I :heart ETLDTD. It's on my top 3. :tu

[GotMyHeartFull]

thanks so much ladies!! I think I'll start with ETLDTD first :)

[Bonnie]

I :heart ETLDTD. It's on my top 3. :tu


What are your other two? ;)

[ellies mom]

I know you chosen but I want to chime in here anyways. I have both. I've read both several times but if I had to buy one I'd chose ETLDTD. First, UP, while I think it is a great book as far as theory goes. It is more of a paradigm shifter. It does a great job of getting you to thing about how the things you say and do could effect your child. But it is very light on "how to's". Deliberately so. He did not want to write a book where he told you what to do. Unfortunately, the first time you read the book you are kind of left feeling lost. You know everything you shouldn't say but you don't know what you can say. The feeling does go away the second time you read the book though. I honestly think it is better the second time around.

Not only does, ETLDTD, tell you how to do things, it also gives realistic examples which is such a help. Her examples show people messing up and then recovering. Her book also really deals with you as well. It helps you work through your issues so you can teach your kids. It is on my "read every six months" list so that I can remind myself of the things that I've forgotten.

[AdrienneQW]

Another vote for ETLDTD. For someone who has plenty of leisure time for reading, I recommend eventually getting around to Unconditional Parenting. For those of us in the real world, it would be quite a ways down on my list. ;)

[GotMyHeartFull]

Another vote for ETLDTD. For someone who has plenty of leisure time for reading, I recommend eventually getting around to Unconditional Parenting. For those of us in the real world, it would be quite a ways down on my list. ;)


really? I am grateful I didn't pay full price for this now lol

I am just in the first chapter of ETL...and I am already really liking this book.