"It's Not WORKING" What does this mean?

[Teribear]

I've seen this in a lot of posts lately and I'm curious as to what this means? Define "working" please. In my opinion and experience, no amount of parenting (punitive or otherwise) is going to parent the childishness out of a child...so when I hear the lament of "its not working" I get very confused about what it is people are expecting to see and it makes it hard to answer because I'm not parenting for the short term so if something isn't working (as in its not stopping said behavior RIGHT NOW) in the short term that really doesn't tend to make me freak out. Help me understand.

[AngelBee]

For me, it means a certain method is not bearing fruit in my children.

[HomeWithMyBabies]

I know I felt this way alot before I really made that change in my thinking from punitive to positive. And I think my mind still wanders in that direction when I'm really burnt out from a particular behavior.

[klpmommy]

usually for me it means I need to find a different method- 5 steping isn't working so great- so maybe I need to go back to more playful parenting, playful parenting isn't doing the trick right now so maybe we need to spend more time outside getting out big energy. It also means for me that I need to start to look deeper into the "why"- which is how I discovered that P was reacting to food dye.

sometimes things aren't working, but it doesn't mean that GBD isn't working b/c GBD isn't a step-by-step process that has "guarantees", it is, in my understanding, knowing the heart of your children & going from there. So I can Playful Parent P in one way, but that same type of PP doesn't work with E b/c she is more sensitive. GBD is respecting the differences in different kids, different families, etc, but remembering that the goal is GRACE, treating others the way we want to be treated, helping our kids to see God in our actions & teaching them while accepting age appropriate & personality differences.

I know I have posted here before "this isn't working" and I have always been able to get good advice of something new/different to try along with an occassional "wait until --- (age)". Sometimes things aren't working b/c I have unrealistic expectations of my kids & I need the reminder that they are just kids. I had this a lot with E b/c she was *so* verbal so early on that it was easy to forget that she was only 2 y/o & therefore acting like a 2 y/o.

[simplegirl]

I know I have posted here before "this isn't working" and I have always been able to get good advice of something new/different to try along with an occassional "wait until --- (age)". Sometimes things aren't working b/c I have unrealistic expectations of my kids & I need the reminder that they are just kids. I had this a lot with E b/c she was *so* verbal so early on that it was easy to forget that she was only 2 y/o & therefore acting like a 2 y/o.


:yes2 This is so me right now. DS is 2 and his communication is so good. But then when he can't communicate his emotions I get the all more frustrated. I agree with what others are saying "it isn't working" means. Something's gotta change...and most of the time it's MY attitude and outlook on things!

[hey mommy]

It means, to me anyway, that my child isn't doing what I just asked them to do..

[Whisperlily]

I've seen this in a lot of posts lately and I'm curious as to what this means? Define "working" please. In my opinion and experience, no amount of parenting (punitive or otherwise) is going to parent the childishness out of a child...so when I hear the lament of "its not working" I get very confused about what it is people are expecting to see and it makes it hard to answer because I'm not parenting for the short term so if something isn't working (as in its not stopping said behavior RIGHT NOW) in the short term that really doesn't tend to make me freak out. Help me understand.


I really agree with where you're coming from! Because I have the same long-term idea that you do... I'll give you my definition of "not working."

Sometimes when something isn't working, it means I'm expecting more than my child is able to handle at that time, and I need to try a different approach until the child is old enough to understand what I'm trying to convey. Sometimes you can just "see" that what you're trying to teach is going over their head in a big way. In such a way that even the little tidbits aren't sinking in a little at a time. In my case, there were things that weren't working for my son, and it led me to realize that he needed medical and educational evaluations. :yes

It's not about parenting the childishness out of your child, but rather seeing when there's no understanding or a roadblock to communication altogether. :)