Stop arguing w/me!!!!!!!! help!!!!

[hey mommy]

How do I get C to stop arguing w/me over everything. Tell him to turn off the water and he says 'you do it'. Tell/ask him to pick something up, he says 'i don't want to, you do it".

Tell him 'no you cant have any more sugary stuff" and he comes w/crazy stuff like "i'm pretending its no sugar" or some other argument..

And then as i was typing this, he came in an i tild him again to turn off the water in the backyard(it makes a horrible noise, soialways know when its on), he wouldn't, so i took his arm to take him outside to do it. guess what? ywp, floor is SOAKED again! After saying something that no one needs to hear, i sent him to his room and told him it was in his best interest to stay in his room away from me.
Then i told him no more tv/games/puter.

i cant wait until the ils pick him up tomorrow.. and no, this is not a new thing.. its been going on for weeks now.

[kazoo]

:popcorn I can see my DS approaching this.

Sorry I have no advice/help. I read the other day that once you make your decision, when they keep asking, you should use nonverbal communication to reinforce what you said w/out continuing the argument. But that doesn't sound adequate for this. :think

[hey mommy]

Thanks.. that doesnt sound adequate for this.. he wont stop. i swear hes going to rule the debate team in school....

[ArmsOfLove]

How do I get C to stop arguing w/me over everything. Tell him to turn off the water and he says 'you do it'. are you using the language of the 5 Steps? When I get resistance I almost always realize I'm sounding like it's optional or I'm being bossy. If I reword it with the 5 Steps then I get a lot more cooperation.

Tell/ask him to pick something up, he says 'i don't want to, you do it". I would tell him that I won't do it alone but I would help him and then do it with him

Tell him 'no you cant have any more sugary stuff" and he comes w/crazy stuff like "i'm pretending its no sugar" or some other argument..I'd be playful with this. Well let's pretend you are eating stuff that has sugar that isn't real sugar ;)

And then as i was typing this, he came in an i tild him again to turn off the water in the backyard(it makes a horrible noise, soialways know when its on), he wouldn't, so i took his arm to take him outside to do it. guess what? ywp, floor is SOAKED again! After saying something that no one needs to hear, i sent him to his room and told him it was in his best interest to stay in his room away from me.
Then i told him no more tv/games/puter.

i cant wait until the ils pick him up tomorrow.. and no, this is not a new thing.. its been going on for weeks now. I'm sorry that happened. I'd either take the hose off the faucet or put a lock on the door so that he can't get out without you letting him.

[hey mommy]

thanks crystal. i've tried using different words and it woks less than half the time. being playful works sometimes.

as for the hose, i told him he van only use it when an adult is out there w/him. We cant lock the door b/c its our only soource of air and the a/c isnt working very well right now..

[ArmsOfLove]

then I'd probably take the hose off the faucet. At least if he turns on the faucet (though they have got to sell some kind of safety lock for it :think) it won't be able to flood *inside* the house

[ReedleBeetle]

Maybe get a valve that shuts the water off at a point farther back than where he turns it on at? Then there wil be 2 points to turn it on....or maybe figure out a way to put a locking cover over it? I think you could maybe cut a hole in some strong PVC pipe large enoght to fit around it and some how lock it off.....I can see it in my head but don't know how to explain what I mean :giggle

[hey mommy]

okay, well the water isnt my main concern right now. i can fix that. its the arguing and everything else i mentioned in my OP.

thanks!

[ArmsOfLove]

that really is age appropriate and not something he will outgrow soon--but he will outgrow it. For the time being I'd keep offering him scripts, having him repeat them, and making sure I'm using the 5 Steps language and not being too bossy or making things optional. :) and mostly just don't take offense--he's not really "arguing with you" the way an adult would. He's processing issues of how much power he has over his own life and where boundaries are with you, other people and his world. The Ames and Ilg books go into a lot of the reasons behind these things :) (but, with my usual disclaimer, ignore their discipline stuff ;) )

[hey mommy]

Thanks.. i really need to o get that book. i know it also helps when *im* felling better and can handle it easier. right no im sore and tired and grmpy and just not doing too well...

[asher]

Yes, we're going through a lot of the arguing stuff & the Ames & Ilg books are awesome for that. If you PM me, I can send you either the 5 yo or 6 yo book. :hug2