Reflecting Feelings

[ShiriChayim]

Ok, y'all are gonna laugh at me, but that's ok :giggle I've seen the phrase "reflect feelings" used a lot, and I've realized I'm not quite sure what that means. So say my son is having a meltdown and I'm going to use this method. Does that mean I'm going to say, wow you are very angry because blah blah blah, or does that mean I'm going to lay down on the floor and scream too (like a mirror of what he's doing), or somewhere in between? Lol please feel free to laugh and tease, but I'm genuinely curious what you mean when you say it? :P~

[Close2MyHeart]

:) I just say it.

"Oh boy! You seem so angry!" and if DC needs more relecting I'll say something like "Let's stomp our feet and do the angry dance." and then sing w/ them "I'm so mad! I'm so angry!

But I always start w/ words first and then put it into actions if need be. We also draw a bit. I'll draw a face and say "You look THIS angry" and then DC will draw and say "No. I'm THIS angry." (or sad, or happy or whatever.. :grin )

[ArmsOfLove]

think of reflecting them by holding a mirror up to them and helping them see what they are feeling. And I tell them what I see. I believe that by helping them name and own their feelings they will be able to control them. "You are really happy today." "You are frustrated. You didn't want that to happen." "You are disappointed and sad." "You are showing me how excited you are."

and this article might help with the why http://aolff.com/?page_id=75

[ShiriChayim]

So you weren't saying that when my 3yo is rolling on the floor screaming his head off, I get to get down and do it too? Awww, man... :doh

Seriously though, thank you both for the explanations, it makes a lot of sense. :rockon

[mamaKristin]

well, if you really, really want to.... ;)

With my soon-to-be-3 year old, I do a lot of "wow, your voice sounds really mad right now" or "you seem to really enjoy playing in the pool". I try to reflect both more positive and, well, less positive emotions. With my 5 year old, I will say things like "you seem really frustrated, can you tell me about that?" to encourage him to use his words more to express his own feelings and emotions.

[Can Dance]

yeah I need to work on the Postive feelings too. I got used to the "negative" emotions pretty fast, but being aware of happiness is also not a bad thing. :yes