Playing with matches!

[Amythestmama]

Dd used her chair to get up to the counter and get the matches and then moved the chair over to the stove where I had a candle burning. Then she proceeded to sitck 6 matches, one at a time into the candle and start them on fire and then blow them out! :jawdrop I found her doing the 7th as I came out of the room I was cleaning out to check on them. :pray4 Thankfully she did not burn herself or drop a match and start her dress or something else on fire!
So what would you do? I asked what she was doing. "Blowing out the candles (matches)." I said that matches were not for little girls and she only needed to blow them out when mama was holding them for her. I explained that she could hurt herself and burn the house down and not to ever play with the matches anymore. I also said that what she was doing was a bad idea b/c she could be hurt etc.
The first thing both MIL and my mom asked was "Did you spank her? She won't understand how damgerous that was/is unless you do!" :scratch I said "No. Of course I didn't spank her. I was the one who didn't put the matches back in the cupboard like I normally would b/c I was in a hurry when I lit the candle. I was the one who was cleaning in the other room instead of watching her closely." What I did do was to call MIL to come read stories and play with them so I could finish cleaning and get the bedroom furniture moved downstairs. I also put the matches in the cupboard and blew out the candle. I had her put her chair in the other room.

[klpmommy]

Spanking/punishing for playing with matches makes no sense. B/c if a child is punished for doing something like that then later on if he does it again & *does* start a fire he is much more likely to try to hide the problem than come for help which will give the fire more time to get out of control. That is the *perfect* example, IMO, of why grace is better than punishment. 'Cause with grace a child who starts a fire is more likely to come & get help w/o fear of punishment than one who has been punished.

I would have probably done the exact same thing in regards to talking to her & tried harder to be sure I kept matches out of reach from now on. :hug I would have been scared to pieces, too.

[Spanish Rose]

I'd have a talk with her about matches and fire and dangers associated with those. Then I'd tell her that if she ever wants to play with matches, to come get me and we can play safely with them together.

[Joanne]

She won't understand how damgerous that was/is unless you do!"

"Spanking children does not make them mature enough to keep themselves safe. Spanking her would not have given her a developmentally ready understanding of fire, burns, property and danger. I understand the need for intensity and seriousness in reacting to this but we can't punish kids into being safe. It's our job to keep them safe, not theirs."

[Katydid]

She won't understand how damgerous that was/is unless you do!"

"Spanking children does not make them mature enough to keep themselves safe. Spanking her would not have given her a developmentally ready understanding of fire, burns, property and danger. I understand the need for intensity and seriousness in reacting to this but we can't punish kids into being safe. It's our job to keep them safe, not theirs."


Well said! :clap