WTD about Time-Outs, saying "NO!" and dealing with emotions... what to do?

[poleidopy]

Lately 3yo DS will say "Micah (13mo) needs a time out! He was bad!" but we don't do time outs and I never tell them they are "bad." He is never around anyone to have heard this (but obviously he must have.) What do I do? I tell him we dont do time outs, that we use the comfort corner and he just insists, "No! Micah needs a time out!" :scratch

And he is saying "NO" and AWFUL lot lately! I say not to kick his brother, feet stay on the floor, he says "No! I WANT to kick Micah!" I say "You may not" and I help him move his feet. He does it again and says NO. Or I will tell him to do something and he will say no...while doing it. :scratch DO I even need to say/do anything about that?

ANd what are some good ways to teach him to deal with his emotions? I am NOT a healthy role model when it comes to dealing with emotions, and I want to be. I want to teach him so he isn't screwed up like me when he's an adult. :/ The only thing we've been doing lately re: emotions, is when he is mad I say "You are very angry arent you? You may not do XXX when you are angry. Lets huff & puff like the BIg BAd Wolf." ANd he looks at me like I'm nuts and laughs. :neutral

[Close2MyHeart]

:hug Sounds like he is 3. :hug

I would probably lightly address the time out and bad thing. If he says the baby's crying is bad then perhaps say "oh, he's so sad" or if the baby takes a toy "he wants to see what you're playing!", etc. I do that a lot. I try not to focus on the negative talk.

No is part of being 3... they are finding their independence & discovering that they are a separate person from us. They understand that they are more in control than they used to think and they like to see how in control they can be. At least that's what I've experienced w/ the 3 of mine who have hit 3 so far. :) I would remove him,not just his feet, from his brother when he tries to kick or hurt him in anyway. That's just not acceptable IMO. A lot of times if my kids are trying to physically harm each other, they are actually lacking time w/ me. I often remove them, hold them for a little bit and remind them why we keep our feet/hands off other peoples bodies. If they are just too angry, I do have them sit until they can calm down... and then we spend a little time together.

:giggle about the Big Bad Wolf. My kids laugh at me when I do things like that too... and i figure it's helping in it's own way. We used to do the angry dance and it would turn into giggles like crazy. Again, try not to focus on what he cant' do when he's angry... just say something like "ohhh you are so angry! Let's stomp our feet or huff and puff" If it turns into a laugh fest, that's ok.

:hug 3 can be so difficult... but so rewarding too.

[MarynMunchkins]

Yes, 3 is fun. :rolleyes2

Lots of reflecting feelings, lots of playful parenting, and lots of big play helps everyone survive.

[bliss]

Maybe when he says "Micah needs a time-out" you could say something like, "It sounds like you want Micah to be somewhere else/separated from you for a while - do you need some time apart from him?" That's the first thing that came to my mind, is maybe he wants him in a time-out so Micah can't bug him for a while? I also agree with Close2myheart that the "bad" thing can be redirected into "action" talk - maybe Micah DID something that was not kind, not thoughtful, etc. but it is not HIM that is "bad" - he just forgot how to be kind for a moment, kwim?