more help needed...

[UK Mum]

ok, appopgies for such basic questions...
what suggestions do you have for dealing with dd's behavior. If i ask her to do something, & she argues it out, what is the best way forward :scratch

[Susan K]

Have you read about the five steps? That maybe helpful to you. When my ds argues i tell them thatI have heard them but mommy is not going to change her mind. I then help them to complie .
Susan

[JJsMom]

I second the five steps. :yes
But also, try not asking quite as much. For example, "Let's go get your shoes on." or "How quickly can you get your shoes on?" instead of "Will you go get your shoes?"
Instead of "Will you go sit in your booster?" try: "It's time to sit in your booster." wait a few seconds "Do you need some help getting in your booster?"
Any specific scenarios that you would like help with?

[Spanish Rose]

Basic questions are often the hardest.

My first question, for every behavior, is "how old is she?" Then I'd want to now how long this has been happening, and what you think could be causing it.

For gentle arguments, I have a couple of strategies. One is simply not to engage. Repeat your instruction and help them comply.

Reflecting feelings also works. "I hear that you don't want to pick up your shoes. What's up with that?"

Problem solving often evolves out of the second approach. "I hear that you don't want to pick up your shoes. What's up with that?"

"It's wicked inconvienient to put my shoes in my room, it's so much easier to just keep them by the door."

"Well, my problem with that is it creates a mess and I trip over them. I like things to be organized and safe. How can we both get what we want?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe we could buy magic shoes that flie where we need them to go."

"Mom, you're crazy. Maybe you should just be careful when you come near the door."

"Maybe. Or maybe we could get a basket for you to put shoes in by the door. How's that sound?"

"Okay. Do I still have to put my shoes away now?"

'Not if you can get me a basket."