"Breaking him" comment by my Mom

[TraceMama]

Today on the phone, my Mom was referring to my 8 mo and said, "You're going to have more trouble breaking him of you than you did breaking ds1 from the pacifier." :hunh :scratch :think So.....I'm doing this attachment parenting thing, right?!

I don't know what point she was trying to make, but I found it a bit frustrating, if not infuriating, that she's commenting negatively on the attachment bond I have with an 8 month old. Oh, well......pass the bean dip!

[Happygrl]

I (obviously) don't know your mom but my mom made a similar comment. Upon discussion, I realized that it wasn't meant in a negative way, really. What she was concerned about was ME...my ability to get some down time, my ability to get some good rest (which still doesn't happen), etc. because of DD's tight attachment to me.

[Linnis]

My DS is coming up on 8 months and I've also had 'breaking him' or 'it'll be tough to break him' comments about his pacifier use etc. Weird, how people are so concerned.

[Elora]

I know there are a lot of instances where passing the bean dip is right on. With some people I don't bother explaining because I know that no amount of "explanation" is going to help justify what they see as nonsense.

But I found with some of the people I know, and those closest to me especially, I just needed to explain to them why I was doing what I was doing. They weren't familiar with the benefits of AP, and when I told them, they were VERY supportive. Apparently they just assumed that I was raising my child this way because I didn't know what I was doing since this is my first LOL. Even some of the ones who weren't supportive, at least had a new respect of why I was doing things this way, even if they didn't agree, they knew I wasn't "ignorantly" stabbing in the dark.

Does she know the benefits of AP? There was the greatest link I found here with so much information about how much more secure, self confident, independent, etc. adults who were AP'd as children are. Could you maybe throw out comments throughout your next conversations about how well it works for you and how happy you are to know that your baby is doing so well with it? Or "I read the most interesting thing today about how beneficial *ABandC* are...I guess people were right when they say trust your mothering insticts...that was just such great validation for what works best for us"

Not that I'd do that if it were going to start a fight, but I was surprised at how well it worked when I actually stood up for what I was doing.

[MarynMunchkins]

"Babies are like fine china. I'd be devastated if he were broken."

;)

[klpmommy]

"Babies are like fine china. I'd be devastated if he were broken."

;)


You crack me up. :giggle

[illinoismommy]

"Babies are like fine china. I'd be devastated if he were broken."

;)


:giggle

But I think that your mom probably means you will need to break the habit, not the baby.

[3xblessed]

"Babies are like fine china. I'd be devastated if he were broken."

;)

:heart

[Piper2]

My mother once complained while visiting us that Kevin was attached to me. Well, duh, we were trying to practice Attachment Parenting! :rolleyes But she was acting like it was a bad thing for a child to be attached to his parents...while she still expects me to be attached to her after more than 40 years (call her all the time, tell her every single detail of our lives, including financial issues). :shrug The only time I really needed and wanted time away from him was once when DH was out of town on a business trip and I came down with a week-long stomach bug (Kevin was about a year old). I just wanted some time to sleep, take a shower and not have this baby on me 24 hours a day. My mom wasn't working at the time and could have easily driven up and spent a night or two, or even an afternoon -- but she told me I would just have to "deal with it". :hunh Finally I called DH in tears and he called my best friend, who came over one afternoon after work (she worked in a daycare) so I could shower for the first time in 4 days and walk around the apartment a little bit without carrying the extra baby weight. She was only there for a few hours, but she was a Godsend. :hug

We're fortunate to live 9 hours away, so we don't have to deal with my mother much. And when he was ready, Kevin separated from us just fine for "normal" activities (Sunday School, VBS, choir, Parents' Night Out). Now we're dealing with her complaining about having him in special needs classes and activities (um, he is special needs, Mom). :rolleyes4

[klpmommy]

My mother once complained while visiting us that Kevin was attached to me. Well, duh, we were trying to practice Attachment Parenting! :rolleyes But she was acting like it was a bad thing for a child to be attached to his parents...while she still expects me to be attached to her after more than 40 years (call her all the time, tell her every single detail of our lives, including financial issues). :shrug



sounds like my mom! :rolleyes

[TraceMama]

Yep, that's my Mom too, although she probably doesn't realize it.

Love the "Fine China" comment!

[TestifyToLove]

Eh, don't worry. He most likely won't want you to live in the dorm room with him at college. If he does, you can always look at housing in that city.

My boys tell me they are going to put an Yurt in my backyard and live there while they are in college! So, you can accomodate a childlike attachment and still achieve in this world just fine!

[Soliloquy]

My mother once complained while visiting us that Kevin was attached to me. Well, duh, we were trying to practice Attachment Parenting! :rolleyes But she was acting like it was a bad thing for a child to be attached to his parents...while she still expects me to be attached to her after more than 40 years (call her all the time, tell her every single detail of our lives, including financial issues). :shrug



sounds like my mom! :rolleyes


sounds like a lot of people I know. I think they believed the experts of their generation and now they truly wonder why their grown children view visiting them as a duty, not a pleasure. Perhaps it was all that CIO . . . :doh

[klpmommy]

My mother once complained while visiting us that Kevin was attached to me. Well, duh, we were trying to practice Attachment Parenting! :rolleyes But she was acting like it was a bad thing for a child to be attached to his parents...while she still expects me to be attached to her after more than 40 years (call her all the time, tell her every single detail of our lives, including financial issues). :shrug



sounds like my mom! :rolleyes


sounds like a lot of people I know. I think they believed the experts of their generation and now they truly wonder why their grown children view visiting them as a duty, not a pleasure. Perhaps it was all that CIO . . . :doh


my mom says she never left me to cio, but she sure didn't try to be attached to me in anyway, kwim? I always felt like a burden to her- excess baggage from her marriage to my dad or something. She never wanted me around when I was growing up, but now that I am an adult she gets bothered when I don't want to be around her. She still thinks I should be the one making the huge effort to see her- fly with two kids to TX- b/c it is too hard for her to find a place for her dog when she comes to visit us. She is mad at me right now b/c I am with my ILs for a wedding in the same town they live in (Dallas) but I won't go to her family reunion in August in another TX town (north of SA). OK, sorry to go OT, but I am so frustrated with her. :banghead

[3jays]

My older sister makes comments all the time about me AP but I tell her jokingly(seriously) that she is just jealous that she didn't do it when her children were smaller. Isn't the goal of AP is to have attached children?