spinoff: mommies who are messies: temperament types

[mammal_mama]

I'm just curious: for those of us "messies" with an interest in personality theory -- what's your basic temperament?

I've only ever taken the "quick tests" -- never one of the really big ones you pay to take. I'm Sanguine/Phlegmatic according to the four basic temperaments, and ENFP according to Kiersey/Bates ("Please Understand Me").

[klpmommy]

:popcorn any idea where I could take a free test online?

[mammal_mama]

I'm not sure, but I bet there are free online tests for this. I bet you could just type in words like free temperament tests, Kiersey-Bates, four basic temperaments...

To do a quick self-analysis for the four basic temperaments, you can ask yourself if your primary motivation is to have fun (sanguine), have control (choleric), have perfection (melancholy), or have peace (phlegmatic). (I got this from "Your Personality Tree" by Fred and Florence Littauer.)

From the book by Kiersey-Bates ("Please Understand Me") -- you can ask yourself if you get your energy through extraversion (E) or Introversion (I), if you prefer to gather information through your senses (S) or your intuition (I), if you prefer to make decisions based on thinking (T) or feeling (F), and if you prefer things settled -- i.e. feel better AFTER you've made a decision (which is judging -- J) or if you prefer keeping your options open (perceiving -- P).

Here's to hoping you find a free test soon!

[flowermama]

I'm a messy, and I'm an INFP. I think I'm a mix of melancholy (mostly) and phlegmatic.

[klpmommy]

I'm not sure, but I bet there are free online tests for this. I bet you could just type in words like free temperament tests, Kiersey-Bates, four basic temperaments...

To do a quick self-analysis for the four basic temperaments, you can ask yourself if your primary motivation is to have fun (sanguine), have control (choleric), have perfection (melancholy), or have peace (phlegmatic). (I got this from "Your Personality Tree" by Fred and Florence Littauer.)

From the book by Kiersey-Bates ("Please Understand Me") -- you can ask yourself if you get your energy through extraversion (E) or Introversion (I), if you prefer to gather information through your senses (S) or your intuition (I), if you prefer to make decisions based on thinking (T) or feeling (F), and if you prefer things settled -- i.e. feel better AFTER you've made a decision (which is judging -- J) or if you prefer keeping your options open (perceiving -- P).

Here's to hoping you find a free test soon!



Hmmm. Intersting. I am definately phlegmatic out of that list, but would have to think a bit more on the other, but probably Judging is an accurate description about me. Thanks for the basic info.

[Eowyn]

I'm a Sanguine/Choleric ESFP, and a confirmed Messie.

[mammal_mama]

I'm a Sanguine/Choleric ESFP, and a confirmed Messie.


Wow! Your two types (Sanguine/Choleric and ESFP) actually match! You're not weird like me.

But I'm STILL a messie.

[erinee]

I'm an INFP with the IFP being *very* strong and the N bordering on S. I'm also a phlegmatic when my depression is under control, melancholic when it's not. And I'm a messy for sure!

[naturalmama2three]

will somone post a link?

[Havilah]

I'm totally, totally phlegmatic, and I'm strong I__P. I can't remember my middle two letters :O

And I'm a struggling-to-be-neater messie, but it's a daily struggle. I lose my grip on neatness regularly, and it takes me a while straightened out again. It's been very hard for me to be a SAHM in this regard... at least I wasn't messing up my house all day while I was WOH.

[RealLifeMama]

I'm totally, totally phlegmatic, and I'm strong I__P. I can't remember my middle two letters :O

This is me, too. My two middle numbers seem to switch around with the tests I have taken, and also whatever they are, they are low in how I lean toward them.


And I'm a struggling-to-be-neater messie, but it's a daily struggle. I lose my grip on neatness regularly, and it takes me a while straightened out again.


I think it is hard to be phlegmatic and also a Messie, because it is not peaceful to live in a messy home. :O

[ArmsOfLove]

I'm a sanguine and an ENFP

I struggle with being a messy but I find that the key is decluttering. My two biggest hurdles are 1) it's hard for me to know what we really need and 2) there are always more fun/important/urgent things to do :shifty

[inesperada]

I'm melancholy and INFJ. :)

[Eowyn]

My two biggest hurdles are 1) it's hard for me to know what we really need and 2) there are always more fun/important/urgent things to do :shifty


Exactly. :giggle

[LadybugSam]

I'm a messy, and I'm an INFP. I think I'm a mix of melancholy (mostly) and phlegmatic.


me too

[Booklover]

I'm a messy, and I'm an INFP. I think I'm a mix of melancholy (mostly) and phlegmatic.

me too

Me, three. :smile

[Havilah]

I think it is hard to be phlegmatic and also a Messie, because it is not peaceful to live in a messy home. :O


:idea

So true!

[mammal_mama]

will somone post a link?


I haven't learned how to post links yet -- but if anyone knows any good links about this, please feel free to post them. Thanks!

This is fun!

I agree with Crystal that de-cluttering (getting rid of unnecessary stuff) is really hard. There's a lot of stuff my children never play with or think about, and would never miss -- but it's upsetting to them to see me try to get rid of anything. On the rare occasions when I'm up and they're asleep, I never have the discipline to do housework, I always want to do something fun for me instead.

[apmommy]

Well, I love control and to some degree am a perfectionist. When I took the test I was right betwen and I and E, just one point to the I. The rest was ITJ.

My house didn't used to be messy before having dd. I used to clean it all the time. I didn't like cleaning, but I liked having that feeling that my house was orderly.

I've given it a lot of thought as to why my house is a mess and I think it is because I can't clean with my HN dd around. I start cleaning the bathroom and she dumps the trash out. So I have to stop. It gets so frustrating not be able to complete a task or to not do it to my standards. It isn't enough to just clean the sink. If I'm going to clean the bathroom, I want to clean the entire bathroom. I can't so stuff 1/2 way. Does that make any sense. :scratch

[erinee]

will somone post a link?



I haven't learned how to post links yet -- but if anyone knows any good links about this, please feel free to post them. Thanks!

This is fun!

I agree with Crystal that de-cluttering (getting rid of unnecessary stuff) is really hard. There's a lot of stuff my children never play with or think about, and would never miss -- but it's upsetting to them to see me try to get rid of anything. On the rare occasions when I'm up and they're asleep, I never have the discipline to do housework, I always want to do something fun for me instead.


Yes, and then for me I also place a *huge* sentimental value on things. Holding something that my kids played with *really* takes me back in a way that my memories just can't. When I give up this thing that some people think is just a thing, it's really giving up a piece of my children. I just can't do it. I felt sick when I was putting things out in the garage for the rummage sale....I started to put the Thomas set and the Rescue Heroes out, and I had to bring them back in. Too many happy memories attached.

Like I said, I am borderline between N and S, but lean slightly to the N end of the spectrum because I tend to make decisions based on intuition rather than hard and fast data -- but would this be the S in me coming out? The need for concrete things to hold onto? If so, how do I overcome that? Or should I overcome it if it's an intrinsic part of who I am?

I found so much value in going through my granmother's house and seeing and holding all the old things -- a quilt that my great-grandmother made, for example. It connected me to her. At the Library of Congress, looking through the glass at Abraham Lincoln's glasses that he was wearing when he was shot brought feelings to me that just seeing a picture of him couldn't. These glasses actually sat on his face, and they were inches away! It was a huge moment for me, and I'm so glad someone held on to those glasses! If I get rid of things like that, am I depriving my children of the same value, the same sense of who they are, should they turn out to need those concrete connections as I do? The things is, my grandmother was born organized and could hoarde things and still have a house that was neat as a pin. I can't seem to do that.

[mammal_mama]

I found so much value in going through my granmother's house and seeing and holding all the old things -- a quilt that my great-grandmother made, for example. It connected me to her. At the Library of Congress, looking through the glass at Abraham Lincoln's glasses that he was wearing when he was shot brought feelings to me that just seeing a picture of him couldn't. These glasses actually sat on his face, and they were inches away! It was a huge moment for me, and I'm so glad someone held on to those glasses! If I get rid of things like that, am I depriving my children of the same value, the same sense of who they are, should they turn out to need those concrete connections as I do? The things is, my grandmother was born organized and could hoarde things and still have a house that was neat as a pin. I can't seem to do that.


Well, I do see the point in hanging on to really special things with special memories.

I guess in my case, it seems like we have so many "junk" toys, my girls can't even figure out what they have because of all the clutter. Things get buried in toy boxes, under other stuff, and not seen for a long, long time.

But does anyone have a child who forms a strong attachment to something just because it's in her house? It's not something she even plays with, but the minute you try to put it in a bag for goodwill or something -- she insists she just can't part with it? That's with ANY toy that's here, absolutely everything.

[ArmsOfLove]

yes yes yes Erin :yes ITA!

What I've found helpful is to wait a year or so with it all boxed in the garage and then go back through the box and save only the things with memories that I have vividly attached to it. That ends up being one outfit, or a special toy, etc. It also helps when I know the stuff is going to someone special, rather than just a yard sale where anyone is going to get it.

And my house used to be spotless before I had children. I actually enjoy cleaning. I just don't enjoy it *as much* as I enjoy things I do with my children. So when my sanguine self with a very strong FP is thinking about what to do, it isn't going to be regrouting ;)

[Momma of 7]

I am a disgruntled perfectionist! (control and perfection) If I can't do it all correct and 100% why bother to do it at all. So I have decided that in most ways I have used this as a cop out to become lazy. Today I will finish my laundry (including putting it away), vacuum the living room, dining room and hall (in case hubby wants to invite someone over tonight or tomorrow) and sweep and spot wash my kitchen floor. At least if I say it here, then there is a better chance that I will do it.

My kids want to hang on to all their toys also, so they each have an 18 gal rubbermaid tub that they are allowed to keep whatever fits in there for them. This includes school papers, special art projects, pictures and special toys. When it is full, it gets gone thru (by them). I also have a box for htem that has special things I am keeping for them. First piece of hair, teeth, special clothes that they wore and other things like that. It has really helped. I have a place to put that dress that I really want to keep for them and they have a spot to put their school papers that they really only want for 4 months or so and then they toss them theirselves. I still have to get a tub for my 2 littlest ones and I am hoping to do that in the next few weeks. We also spent part of last week going thru the play room and I had the 2 little ones help me decide if we would keep stuff or not. They were more than willing to help go thru and put things in a keep pile, throw away or give away pile. I think seeing the stuff they were keeping, motivated them to let some stuff go.

[LadybugSam]

I found so much value in going through my granmother's house and seeing and holding all the old things -- a quilt that my great-grandmother made, for example. It connected me to her. At the Library of Congress, looking through the glass at Abraham Lincoln's glasses that he was wearing when he was shot brought feelings to me that just seeing a picture of him couldn't. These glasses actually sat on his face, and they were inches away! It was a huge moment for me, and I'm so glad someone held on to those glasses! If I get rid of things like that, am I depriving my children of the same value, the same sense of who they are, should they turn out to need those concrete connections as I do? The things is, my grandmother was born organized and could hoarde things and still have a house that was neat as a pin. I can't seem to do that.


You sound like my DH. his hoarding drives me batty. I know that if i didn't live here with him he would turn into one of those people with junk piles up to the ceiling with only a passageway to get around.. He is usually able to keep things under control, but when he is greiving (or i'm spring cleaning) it flares up again and he starts his little collections. He really has a problem. Even the old wore out jeans from last year, with 10+ holes in it. "Can you patch this?" No. No i can't. "what should i do with it?" just got throw it away "well usually i just kind of stick the clothes that don't fit me in this pile over here next to the bed" and he throws it into the pile!

Of coarse now i know where his pile is, and i know that those things are safe to throw out :shifty He's doing better. I talked to him about hoarding before and i just kind of rolled off his shoulder. Then i called him a hoarder and he was offended. He looked it up online to prove me wrong, and then he got even more upset, because he realized it was what he was doing. it just :bheart

[RealLifeMama]

. Even the old wore out jeans from last year, with 10+ holes in it. "Can you patch this?" No. No i can't. "what should i do with it?" just got throw it away "well usually i just kind of stick the clothes that don't fit me in this pile over here next to the bed" and he throws it into the pile!

Of coarse now i know where his pile is, and i know that those things are safe to throw out :shifty He's doing better. I talked to him about hoarding before and i just kind of rolled off his shoulder. Then i called him a hoarder and he was offended. He looked it up online to prove me wrong, and then he got even more upset, because he realized it was what he was doing. it just :bheart



That sounds like my DH. He is such a hoarder! I am the messy, not him, but he is a hoarder. I have like zero attachment to things. I am also not a "save it in case of" person. I figure if we need one, we can either get one, borrow one, or God will provide one. DH on the other hand, saves everything!!! Our garage is packed with every little tool or trinket "just in case" He saves every screw, every nail, every stick, bolt, lightbulb, piece of plastic, whatever. He has 5 pairs of khakis in his closet someone gave him that are too long in the leg and too small in the waist, yet he keeps them, and has for 5 years, waiting for me to hem them, even though I do not sew!!!! A dress of the childrens is ripped, and I go put it in the "get rid of" box and he says "Oh, you can fix that!" No, I can't, I say, but it goes back to the closet anyway, and DD pulls it out, and I say "you can't wear that, honey, it is ripped" until finally she outgrows it and then I get to throw it out. He saves everything, but is getting much better, I guess.

[klpmommy]

My dh is a packrat, too. I can throw stuff out, donate stuff, he CANNOT. So sometimes when he isn't paying attention I get rid of stuff for him & he has never noticed. He keeps boxes that stuff came into b/c they are good when we move (yes, but until then they just take up space!).

He is a messy, but he was raised by neaties so he thinks the house should magically clean itself. I am a messy raised by people who are even messier than I am so the mess doesn't bother me as much, or at least I don't expect it to clean itself (although I do *hope* the cleaning fairy will stop here sometime).

We need to declutter. Seriously declutter. B/c right now even when the house is clean it doesn't look it b/c there is so much stuff. There is no room in the garage for our Christmas boxes, so they are in the formal dining room- one room that I can usually keep clean but it looks like a dump b/c there is all this junk in there. blech

[LadybugSam]

My dh is a packrat, too. I can throw stuff out, donate stuff, he CANNOT. So sometimes when he isn't paying attention I get rid of stuff for him & he has never noticed. He keeps boxes that stuff came into b/c they are good when we move (yes, but until then they just take up space!).

He is a messy, but he was raised by neaties so he thinks the house should magically clean itself. I am a messy raised by people who are even messier than I am so the mess doesn't bother me as much, or at least I don't expect it to clean itself (although I do *hope* the cleaning fairy will stop here sometime).

We need to declutter. Seriously declutter. B/c right now even when the house is clean it doesn't look it b/c there is so much stuff. There is no room in the garage for our Christmas boxes, so they are in the formal dining room- one room that I can usually keep clean but it looks like a dump b/c there is all this junk in there. blech


:yes ITU. I'm ambarrassed to say that i throw some of hubby's stuff out as well. Like last summer me and my best friend (his cousin, she knows him very well) got together and threw out a lot of his old video games (from the computer) that didn't have all their game disks. I threw out a lot of other ones just because they can't be used on a current operating system and others because they were never going to get played again. I tried to save the ones that i knew he loved (basically any of them with names that i remember him talking about) I threw out 3 large boxes of them, and kept one smaller box. I don't think he noticed at all :hunh he asked me where they all were and i told him that they were in the box that i kept. He looked through it and seemed happy but he didn't mention anything about them being missing :shifty

Funny thing is though, he's a neat freak. Things must be clean. He goes into panic mode when the livingroom is even cluttered BUT our bedroom can be so bad that he can't walk on the floor without stepping on something and he doesn't notice!

Oh gosh this has gotten off topic :shifty I guess i had a lot that i needed to get off my chest.

[tempus vernum]

I am half a messy/half a wanna be organized and I am on a roll right n ow getting organize.

But I am reading a book that has a chapter addressing the "emotional" aspect of clutter. (hannah's art of home)

It talks about taking pictures of things that are special to you and then tossing it :giggle

I am starting this. Forme, this is helping because I am a HUGE picture person. Thank Goodness for digital because I take so many I'd never get to organize them :shifty

ANyways, one idea is take a picture in the clothes you can't toss for emotional reasons but don't wear, kids w/the special toys, etc. What's funny is that I have had an autographed basketball that LUke received last fall from the head coach of the bucks (Milwaukee's professional basketball team). It was still in the bag, I wanted to put it in a display. Well, I cahnged my mind. We got a picture from the ceremony he got it from and I decided he could play with it (which was what he wanted in the first place). I am happy with the picture, he's happy cuz he gets to play with it :lol

[Jenjardin]

I thought I was a melancholic phlegmatic, but I retook the test just to be sure, and I was right. :giggle http://www.oneishy.com/personality/personality_test.php

I'm also an INTP, but sometimes I come out as ISTP when I take the test. Here are some links:
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
http://typelogic.com/intp.html
http://typelogic.com/istp.html

I'm a recovering messie.

[Quiteria]

I'm just curious: for those of us "messies" with an interest in personality theory -- what's your basic temperament?

I've only ever taken the "quick tests" -- never one of the really big ones you pay to take. I'm Sanguine/Phlegmatic according to the four basic temperaments, and ENFP according to Kiersey/Bates ("Please Understand Me").


same here except sanguine/melancholy and ENFP

[tinybutterfly]

I'm a Sanguine/Melancholy on the temperments test and an ENFP on the Myers-Brigs test.

I'd rather have fun or read than clean.

[Quiteria]

I'm a Sanguine/Melancholy on the temperments test and an ENFP on the Myers-Brigs test.

I'd rather have fun or read than clean.


Lol, that's me. If someone would just keep me company, I wouldn't mind cleaning so much, but solitary=boring...unless we're talking reading...

[klpmommy]

I am a PhlegmaticSanguine and an ISFJ "Protector Guardian"

Not sure what I think about THAT!

[frenetic_turtle]

I'm a Sanguine/Phlegmatic and ENFP. I, too, am a recovering messy.

[Mamatoto]

I just wanted to say that one of the traits of melancholy personality is wanting/needing order and being perfectionistic with their homes (a typical melancholy is one whose hair is always perfect, dressed impeccably, children dressed and clean, home in perfect order)...also some say there is no such thing as a sanguine/melancholy or phlegmatic/choleric because you can't have opposite strong personalities in one person. A lot of times when there is opposites one personality is something you are taking on instead of your born temperament. Not to be annoying, these are just some things I read that I thought that I would pass on. :mrgreen Phlegmatic and sanguine are the ones most often known as far as personality traits for being laid back or just too social to want to clean or notice that anything needs cleaning. :giggle

[klpmommy]

a typical melancholy is one whose hair is always perfect, dressed impeccably, children dressed and clean, home in perfect order

Well, no one would ever mistake me for a melancholy! :laughtears (and that is even if they have never seen my house!)

[mammal_mama]

I just wanted to say that one of the traits of melancholy personality is wanting/needing order and being perfectionistic with their homes (a typical melancholy is one whose hair is always perfect, dressed impeccably, children dressed and clean, home in perfect order)

My mom's melancholy -- I THINK ... actually, when she looked into the four temperaments, she told me she thought she had only strengths, no weaknesses ... that she might have had weaknesses when she was younger, but she'd corrected them.

Well, our house was often a mess when we were growing up -- but now her house is impeccably organized, no clutter, with a place for everything and everything in its place. When we were kids she gave up on everything being neat -- but she had the kitchen organized how she wanted it, that was her room. After Dad died she finally got to organize the bedroom the way she wanted it, too (Dad used to always have a mess of papers lying around).

I used to think I was a messie 'cause Mom never really worked WITH me and helped me form good habits. Sometimes she'd clean up my room while I was at school and say, "Now that it's clean you really ought to keep it that way" (I've had a couple of friends do this for me as well) -- but in a very short time it was back to its former messy state. By the time I was 12, my parents quit bugging me to clean my room, and just insisted I keep the door closed so no one else had to look at it.

Now I realize it's ME, not that I wasn't "trained" properly. My younger brother kept his room neat. My older sister (19 years older than me and married by the time I was born) is a messie -- but one child became a cleanie, one a messie, and one, I think, is somewhere in between.

It's interesting to hear from everyone: it sounds like we're messies for a variety of reasons. Mamatoto's right that Sanguines and Phlegmatics (like me) are the ones most likely to let things go. But it sounds like melancholies can get depressed over how impossible it is to attain total perfection with little ones in the house -- and just give up, or do like my mom did and have their little "areas" and let everything else go.

And maybe Cholerics can get frustrated over their inability to control everything -- and just focus on activities where they can be more in charge. I know a couple of women who seem very Choleric, and they get heavily involved in projects to the point where something has to give -- so sometimes even hardworking Cholerics can let their houses go, too.

Mamatoto, I've also read what you did about the combination of opposite traits in the same person (Sanguine/Melancholy and Phlegmatic/Choleric) indicating some kind of masking. I'm not sure. I'm a Sanguine/Phegmatic with strong Melancholy undercurrents; mainly I'm obsessive about having to make sure the stove's off at night, and doors are locked ... when I worked as a nurse's aide it took me forever to leave at night; I was always checking and double-checking to make sure everyone's bedrails were up, etcetera. I'm not sure if this comes from having a Melancholy mom who was pretty critical of my Sanguine characteristics -- or if it's just a natural part of who I am.

[ArmsOfLove]

A lot of times when there is opposites one personality is something you are taking on instead of your born temperament.I've actually found that many people who are abused in some way, or have a way they are expected and demanded to behave as children will test that way in teperament tests until they have counseling and come to accept who they really are. Before giving birth my meyers' brigg was exactly like my father; after giving birth it was totally different ;)

[jghomeschooler]

Me: INFP and Melancholy Phlegmatic :shrug
My children are not neatly/perfectly dressed and clean, ROFLOL, neither am I. I'm a messie through and through. I get things straightened up around here, and then everything just goes straight back to MESSY. If I TRULY wanted to keep my house CLEAN, then I'd just be cleaning all day long- no time for reading or fun. I'm always trying to think of a better and easier way to do things, but haven't found a true solution to the messyness.
I like to plan things, but rarely ever actually DO things that were planned, or the way they were planned. I just get overwhelmed and bogged down and never feel up to doing it.
Yesterday a friend came over with her dd, we were at the playground so dd and her dd came inside to turn on the oven for lunch, while I gathered The Littles to bring them inside. dd told me later that the other girl kept saying to her, ", it looks like pigs live here. It's just filthy. You are pigs."
I don't intend to have them over again. I don't like this woman anyway, she has problems. Her home is perfectly neat, she has a place for everything- but she only has one dd and her dd goes to school. I have 4 dc, and they are home all day with me making messes.
I like for my home to be a haven for MY family- after all it is OUR home, LOL. I don't much care if other people like it or not, but I will not knowingly subject my family to negative comments from such rude people.

[RealLifeMama]

Oh, Jenn, I am sorry your DD went through that! How terrible.

You sound just like me. I bet we'd be friends in real life, LOL, most of my good griends are like me, too. :giggle

I took the test on the link and did have some melancholy along with my phlegmatic. The strengths were even on each, but I had more weaknesses of the phlegmatic.

I am in the process of making "big plans" now, too. I wonder what stands in the way of our excecuting our plans?

[Quiteria]

A lot of times when there is opposites one personality is something you are taking on instead of your born temperament.I've actually found that many people who are abused in some way, or have a way they are expected and demanded to behave as children will test that way in teperament tests until they have counseling and come to accept who they really are. Before giving birth my meyers' brigg was exactly like my father; after giving birth it was totally different ;)


Well, I have become a lot more Sanguine than Melancholy after growing up and getting some more self-confidence than I had as the geeky new kid all my childhood, in a new school most years, etc...but after giving a talk on temperments, I'm convinced that adhering to them strictly is not too far off from the personality aspects of astrology, which is something that God DOESN't want us messing with. A creator so great and so infinite that he can create unique personalities even for itentical twins...IMO, is capapble of more variety than just the four temperments others have tried to box us into. I have read before that Sanguine/Melencholy and Melancholy/Sanguine types are often teachers--the inward drive to read and learn and think combined with the outward drive to explain it to others...makes for a good teacher! (and is not such a contradiction when you think about it that way)

As far as cleaning...I am perfectionistic in that when I do organize, I want to do it exactly right. I get paralyzed trying to start a load of laundry because I want to have an exactly full load with every piece of clothing that fits the definition--nothing left out and nothing that should be warm water instead of color, or delicate vs regular, or even green/blues vs. purple/blues...my husband can throw in a load of multicolored clothes on warm regular and just walk away saying that "they're old enough they shouldn't bleed, and old enough you won't be able to tell if they do." I can't do that. And i wasn't even allowed to do laundry at my mom's house. My dad taught me laundry, and he has the same throw-it-all-in mentality as dh.

[jghomeschooler]

:yes I typically don't actually "fit" into ANY box, LOL. I am a mish mash of bits and pieces of thoughts from many different "boxes". :mrgreen

[Mamatoto]

I've actually found that many people who are abused in some way, or have a way they are expected and demanded to behave as children will test that way in teperament tests until they have counseling and come to accept who they really are]

:yes Mine used to be a combination of my mother/grandmother until a couple years ago when I retook the test...WOW, that was weird to see.

I have read before that Sanguine/Melencholy and Melancholy/Sanguine types are often teachers--the inward drive to read and learn and think combined with the outward drive to explain it to others...makes for a good teacher! (and is not such a contradiction when you think about it that way)


I would like to see where you read that if you remember. :) Cholerics definitely have the teacher (and bossiness) in them to want to tell people how to do things.

[mammal_mama]

dd told me later that the other girl kept saying to her, "OMGoodness, it looks like pigs live here. It's just filthy. You are pigs."

A couple of my dd's friends make comments like that when they come to our house -- but they always seem to want to come, and usually don't want to leave, either.

One of my friends -- her girls have said things like, "How come your house is always trashed when we come over" -- says her girls have so much fun at my house 'cause they get to paint and do messy stuff. She just can't handle that much mess in her house, plus they do highly structured homeschooling where there's little time for "extra" stuff like painting and self-initiated projects.

Sometimes we've had plans to take them to the park, and at the last minute they couldn't go 'cause they didn't get their rooms cleaned or other chores or schoolwork done.

I feel sad for them ... their comments are probably just mirror-images of what they hear at home.

Instead of never inviting kids who say such rude things, I feel sad for them that they're learning this raunchy attitude toward life and other people. Well, also, dd doesn't seem to mind the comments and she always wants them to come. But if I hear it in the future, I think I'll let them know they're not to come into our home and say rude things.

Really, I think they're just jealous that dd's life isn't as constricted as theirs.

[Mrs. Potatohead]

ISFP here. And pretty messy. I SOOOO prefer a neat house, but with seven of us, it gets messy really quickly. And I look around at the mess, and I just shut down. It easily overwhelms me. Now, if I know guests are coming, that gives me a deadline and motivation, and I will end up cleaning. DH is good about realizing when it has just gone too far, and I'm over my head, and he'll pitch in. I really do LOVE it when my house is clean. :heart I just have a hard time getting and keeping it that way!

[mammal_mama]

And I look around at the mess, and I just shut down. It easily overwhelms me.

That's me, too. That's where it helps to just tackle a small chunk at a time. My problem is, after tackling a few chunks and seeing some improvement, I feel better and drop the housework again.

[doubleblessings]

I usually show up as ISTJ and I took the other one and came up Melancholy Phlegmatic. I like things organized and I know I would be more content if they were, but the motivation to do it and keep it up is difficult. I grew up in a VERY messy house, so part of my problem is that is seems normal.

[Katydid]

ISFP here. And pretty messy. I SOOOO prefer a neat house, but with seven of us, it gets messy really quickly. And I look around at the mess, and I just shut down. It easily overwhelms me. Now, if I know guests are coming, that gives me a deadline and motivation, and I will end up cleaning. DH is good about realizing when it has just gone too far, and I'm over my head, and he'll pitch in. I really do LOVE it when my house is clean. :heart I just have a hard time getting and keeping it that way!


This is me, too, except I'm an INFJ :shrug

[mammal_mama]

Well, ladies, now I remember why I don't read a lot of riveting novels anymore ... I do read fiction to my daughter, and mainly parenting books to myself -- but I'd kind of set aside reading fiction "for me" when I got totally immersed in some Stephen King novels a few years back and realized having a book you can't/won't set down isn't really compatible with being a mom of small children.

Then yesterday we went to the library, and I thought, "I haven't read any novels for me for a while" -- so I browsed and checked out Margaret Leroy's "Postcards from Berlin." I started reading it while nursing our 2yo for a nap, while dh and almost 7yo dd watched a movie. Absolutely gripping.

After nap and movie, I set "Postcards" aside and spent time reading to older dd -- but after the girls went to sleep for the night, I lay in bed reading, getting more and more immersed, and finally decided to finish it so I wouldn't be absorbed today when my girls needed me. When I finished it was 4am.

The girls woke up at eight ... and now I remember why I quit checking out books like that. How does that relate to cleaning house? Maybe I can get something done ... but I'm pretty sleepy ...

[Katydid]

Well, ladies, now I remember why I don't read a lot of riveting novels anymore ... I do read fiction to my daughter, and mainly parenting books to myself -- but I'd kind of set aside reading fiction "for me" when I got totally immersed in some Stephen King novels a few years back and realized having a book you can't/won't set down isn't really compatible with being a mom of small children.

Then yesterday we went to the library, and I thought, "I haven't read any novels for me for a while" -- so I browsed and checked out Margaret Leroy's "Postcards from Berlin." I started reading it while nursing our 2yo for a nap, while dh and almost 7yo dd watched a movie. Absolutely gripping.

After nap and movie, I set "Postcards" aside and spent time reading to older dd -- but after the girls went to sleep for the night, I lay in bed reading, getting more and more immersed, and finally decided to finish it so I wouldn't be absorbed today when my girls needed me. When I finished it was 4am.

The girls woke up at eight ... and now I remember why I quit checking out books like that. How does that relate to cleaning house? Maybe I can get something done ... but I'm pretty sleepy ...


Oh, that is sooooo familiar! :shifty

[klpmommy]

That is totally me, too! (Although the lack of a book doesn't help me clean house, at least when I don't have a book to read I spend more time doing other things!)

[erinee]

Well, ladies, now I remember why I don't read a lot of riveting novels anymore ... I do read fiction to my daughter, and mainly parenting books to myself -- but I'd kind of set aside reading fiction "for me" when I got totally immersed in some Stephen King novels a few years back and realized having a book you can't/won't set down isn't really compatible with being a mom of small children.

Then yesterday we went to the library, and I thought, "I haven't read any novels for me for a while" -- so I browsed and checked out Margaret Leroy's "Postcards from Berlin." I started reading it while nursing our 2yo for a nap, while dh and almost 7yo dd watched a movie. Absolutely gripping.

After nap and movie, I set "Postcards" aside and spent time reading to older dd -- but after the girls went to sleep for the night, I lay in bed reading, getting more and more immersed, and finally decided to finish it so I wouldn't be absorbed today when my girls needed me. When I finished it was 4am.

The girls woke up at eight ... and now I remember why I quit checking out books like that. How does that relate to cleaning house? Maybe I can get something done ... but I'm pretty sleepy ...


:giggle We are kindred spirits. I am so that type -- finish a book so it won't be distracting me tomorrow, and then being too tired "tomorrow" to do anything!

[mammal_mama]

That is totally me, too! (Although the lack of a book doesn't help me clean house, at least when I don't have a book to read I spend more time doing other things!)


I hear ya!

[GrowingInGrace]

And I look around at the mess, and I just shut down. It easily overwhelms me.

That's me, too. That's where it helps to just tackle a small chunk at a time. My problem is, after tackling a few chunks and seeing some improvement, I feel better and drop the housework again.


:yes Me too. As I sit here amidst some clutter reading about messies when I should actually be tackling it....

I'm an INFP and apparently a Phlegmatic/Melancholy. I got to get off this computer now and do some work...