My new neighbor wants to come into my house

[apmommy]

She just moved in last week and her house is immaculate. She is a self-proclaimed neat freak. They have really nice stuff and I'm afraid when she sees my stuff she'll go :hunh. I'm normally not like this, but she has a ds a little younger than dd and I'm afraid she'll think if she can keep a place clean with a small child, why can't I? :scratch

My house, well, let's just say that I'm in coping mode right now.

[joyful mama]

:hug2

I understand. I've been trying to keep up my place lately. a friend of mine (who is more neat freakish) watches my kids once a week, and I get so embarassed if things are messy. I always feel judged by it :blush

[jghomeschooler]

:hug2 :heart
Some people are just ABLE to keep their home spotless, others are not (me included). I printed out a poem and stuck it on our bathroom door by the front door. "this is a home where children live". I just don't stress about it any more. It's MUCH easier once you've let the person in and they've seen your mess, and you just :shrug "I've been sick" or whatever. Of course, you'll STILL be "encouraged" to clean for her to see your home. Just do what YOU can do with the time you have and phooey with the rest. I like the saying that there's something wrong if a home with children is super clean, :giggle

[apmommy]

Thank you. I've never been this way. It's just her furniture is perfect and classy, her floors are immaculate, and everything is upgraded.

Our house is a big fixer up and we don't have "new" furniture. Everything is either used or a hand-me-down.

We're not talking about just 15 minutes of clean up here....

[klpmommy]

:hug2

I usually manage to do a small "swish & swipe" clean up before someone comes over, but I have been known to change coming over plans b/c I couldn't get enough done. I am so messy & your house sounds like mine- caked on food on the counter tops, etc. Did I mention that I didn't dump E's last pee from the little potty and that the inside of my fridge needs a good scrubbing???

I am sorry you are feeling so badly about your house. My house is bad, but it is always worse when I am sick. :hug2

[jghomeschooler]

I would just tell her, "sorry, I've been really sick- and with dh being gone and my being pregnant AND sick, I just haven't been cleaning up well and am just not comfortable with you seeing my home this way. When I'm feeling better and I'm back on top of things, I'd be glad to have you over for a visit." Or something like that. :heart

[Soliloquy]

I would just tell her, "sorry, I've been really sick- and with dh being gone and my being pregnant AND sick, I just haven't been cleaning up well and am just not comfortable with you seeing my home this way. When I'm feeling better and I'm back on top of things, I'd be glad to have you over for a visit." Or something like that. :heart


:yes :hugheart

[joyful mama]

I would just tell her, "sorry, I've been really sick- and with dh being gone and my being pregnant AND sick, I just haven't been cleaning up well and am just not comfortable with you seeing my home this way. When I'm feeling better and I'm back on top of things, I'd be glad to have you over for a visit." Or something like that. :heart
yes i agree. my home is usually quickly presentable though never spotless... but if i'm sick/prego/stressed and its not manageable i'd prefer not to have people over until its presentable. :hugheart

[apmommy]

That's a good idea. My dh came home tonight from being away on a business trip and asked me if we had money in our budget for a maid....does that tell you how bad it is? :laughtears :laughtears

[righteous mama]

My neighbor always comes over when my house is thrashed. When it's clean...no one comes over. In fact, someone should knock on my door at any moment. :giggle

You could just be honest with her. I noticed when I told my neighbor, "I'm so sorry! My house is a disaster!" She also came in when I was wearing no bra and a tank top (I was getting ready for bed and dh let her in to see our new tile floors!). She said, "Give me a break! We're neighbors! I don't care!" And she didn't. Even though her house is neat and she is on top of it all...she doesn't see my mess, she sees me. It's nice.

[joyful mama]

Even though her house is neat and she is on top of it all...she doesn't see my mess, she sees me. It's nice. ya know, for the most part other people's clutter and mess doesn't bother me at all... its mine that does :shrug. :think

[RooMama]

Thank you. I've never been this way. It's just her furniture is perfect and classy, her floors are immaculate, and everything is upgraded.

Our house is a big fixer up and we don't have "new" furniture. Everything is either used or a hand-me-down.

But it's really bad. The tiles are white, but right now they are almost black from dirt. There is caked on food on the counters and ketchup all over the . I have peanut butter on the baby gate and on my couch. Syrup on the kitchen table. I have crayola marker on our toilet seat. Shaving cream on the walls of the shower. Let's see...I'm sure there's more.

We're not talking about just 15 minutes of clean up here....


:hug Your house sounds just like mine!!!

[apmommy]

Thank you. I've never been this way. It's just her furniture is perfect and classy, her floors are immaculate, and everything is upgraded.

Our house is a big fixer up and we don't have "new" furniture. Everything is either used or a hand-me-down.

But it's really bad. The tiles are white, but right now they are almost black from dirt. There is caked on food on the counters and ketchup all over the . I have peanut butter on the baby gate and on my couch. Syrup on the kitchen table. I have crayola marker on our toilet seat. Shaving cream on the walls of the shower. Let's see...I'm sure there's more.

We're not talking about just 15 minutes of clean up here....


:hug Your house sounds just like mine!!!


Do I dare say it still looks the same. She still hasn't come over yet. Wants to come by Wed afternoon, but I just can't do it.

[mammal_mama]

Nothing about your house sounds at all shocking to me. :hug

If a new friend knocks on my door -- I just take the plunge, let them in, and get it over with.

I've made a few friends in my new neighborhood -- an older, inner-city neighborhood where some middle-class types are buying fixer-uppers and doing some truly wonderful things. We're just kinda hangin' out and livin' day to day -- nothing really amazing to show.

I actually initiated all of us getting together. Now there've been several get-togethers; the one time it was at my house everyone ran into problems and no one made it. I've been dragging my feet about planning another at my house; the more I go to their houses and get the "grand tour" to see all they've been accomplishing, the less I feel like having a planned get-together.

I actually prefer when people just drop over, or come at very short notice. Then I don't feel any pressure to clean, as there's no time, and I know they won't take the state of my house as a personal indication of my feelings for them. When it's a planned get-together, I always feel this wave of exhaustion and feel so overwhelmed about how to make things look good -- and also worry that people will think I'm "dissing" them, and just don't care enough to clean house when I KNOW they're coming.

[ArmsOfLove]

well ITU your feelings as I'd share them too--that said, it sounds like you are judging her and let me tell you what I'd remind myself ;)

Just because her house is neat and she's a neat freak doesn't mean she expects everyone to be that way. If she lives in the real world she knows not everyone is ;) It sounds like she wants a friend in the new neighborhood and I'd just be honest with her. Tell her what you've told us--I'm embarrassed about my house but my dh has been gone 3 weeks and I've been sick 5 times this pg and I'm just not on top of things. I'd love to have you in but I'm afraid you'll judge me based on my home.

Then see what she says :)

[Blue Savannah]

That's a good idea. My dh came home tonight from being away on a business trip and asked me if we had money in our budget for a maid....does that tell you how bad it is? :laughtears :laughtears


I like this ide. You could look in to having someone come in to help you get your house back to the way you're comfortable with it. NOT for your neighbor's sake, but for yours. :heart It'll be easier to keep it up if it's clean to begin with.

[CrunchySeaSalt]

Honestly it's not alot. for a good 3 hours of cleaning by a person at 10.00 an hour (private people charge that here..not agencies) is only 30.00

You could have a fresh start .....clean (not spotless) comfortable home that you could play catch up with here and there

[apmommy]

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[Blue Savannah]

:mrgreen Hooray for your dh! I'm glad you'll be able to do that! :heart

[Mrs. Potatohead]

That's GREAT about the maid! I was just getting ready to suggest that. At the end of last year, I was taking classes, then I got mono, then my mom became ill and passed away. I did NOT clean for literally months. It was disgusting. So we finally just sucked it up and called Merry Maids. We actually had them come three different times (part of that was a gift from my in-laws), and it just helped get me back on top of things so I can handle it myself. I'm still a horrible housekeeper, and when someone stops by, I usually just laugh and say, "I'm sorry my house is messy--I'm a terrible housekeeper!" and get on with it. I have found that MANY times, it just relaxes people to realize that I'm not perfect, and I don't expect them to be, either. I'm sure there are a few who are obsessive about neatness, who would be stressed out by my clutter, but that is THEIR issue. I am learning to be real in that area and admit that I have some strengths (I cook real food, for example), but housekeeping is not one of them. Frankly, I hate it. And my house reflects that. My dream is to be able to afford a regular maid, but until then, we just try to book guests often enough to force us to clean. :giggle

Anyway, I hope the maid helps you feel back on top of things. Oh, and don't do like me and apologize to the maid. :O For goodness sakes, that's why they're there, and they've certainly seen worse!

[MarynMunchkins]

:hug Another self-proclaimed neat freak who doesn't care how your house looks. I've visited friends where there was *literally* no floor showing because of the stuff on it. It was the friends that mattered - not the house.

And who knows? Maybe she'll offer to help so you don't have to worry about and can focus on yourself and kiddos. :)