Beauty4Ashes
10-05-2006, 10:13 AM
I used gbd/goyb parenting today with my two children and my neighbor's two children. She needed to go inside to fix something for herself and for her two daughters before she had an appointment. I volunteered to watch her daughters because, well, she's due any day now, and being pregnant isn't easy. Her older dd just came home from kindergarten and had her backpack with her. She found a board and some rocks. Bashar wanted the rocks and the board. They were fighting over it. I said to Bashar, you may not have those rocks, they belong to A. Bashar bit her. I told him, Bashar, biting hurts. You may not bite. Say "asif"=sorry to A. I took him over to a bench and had him sit on my lap while he calmed down. He was pretty upset over those rocks. It happened again. I repeated the same message, biting hurts, you may not bite, etc. Then I told A, put the rocks and the board in your backpack. I will be taking my children inside after your mommy comes back outside, but in the meantime, this will lessen the amount of fighting. She said, what if I put it underneath my back pack? I said, no, put them inside your back pack, that way Bashar cannot get to them. She came and sat down next to me. She talked to me about Bashar and how he treated her. I said, Bashar is still only two. I am trying the best that I can to teach him not to go after things that belong to someone else. But it will take time for him to understand. I think right now, though Bashar is hungry and sleepy. When your mommy comes back outside, I will get him something to eat. She said, when my sister was 2, she would do the same thing. So we talked a bit about that. Then she said, maybe we can help Bashar and find him some rocks of his own. I said, okay, that's a great idea. I know that if that had been her mother, she would have scolded her for "crying for no reason" and said they are babies, you are a big girl, leave them be. I acknowledged her feelings and together we found an acceptable solution.
I had a few incidents where A and E ran away from me. (One of the grandmothers said, these kids, they never listen. I ignored her.) I ran after them and when I was within a foot or so of them, I said, I need for you to stay with me. Your mommy will be worried if she comes outside and cannot see us.
Let's see, what else? A is 5 and she wanted to learn how to ride a 2 wheeler with no training wheels. A boy in her kindergarten class was teaching her. I ran after A and said, A, I need you where I can see you. Please stay in the sandbox area with your sister. She said, is it okay if I ride my bike in the play area (which is near the sandbox). I said, yes, that is fine. So she did. I gave her specific praise when she rode the two wheeler, look at you, you rode the bike by yourself. That is something you can tell your mommy. You're doing great, I bet you will be ready to ride a two wheeler of your own when you get one. I talked with the little boy about football , the one who was teaching her about riding a 2 wheeler. If only I could be this successful all the time...
I had a few incidents where A and E ran away from me. (One of the grandmothers said, these kids, they never listen. I ignored her.) I ran after them and when I was within a foot or so of them, I said, I need for you to stay with me. Your mommy will be worried if she comes outside and cannot see us.
Let's see, what else? A is 5 and she wanted to learn how to ride a 2 wheeler with no training wheels. A boy in her kindergarten class was teaching her. I ran after A and said, A, I need you where I can see you. Please stay in the sandbox area with your sister. She said, is it okay if I ride my bike in the play area (which is near the sandbox). I said, yes, that is fine. So she did. I gave her specific praise when she rode the two wheeler, look at you, you rode the bike by yourself. That is something you can tell your mommy. You're doing great, I bet you will be ready to ride a two wheeler of your own when you get one. I talked with the little boy about football , the one who was teaching her about riding a 2 wheeler. If only I could be this successful all the time...