Help with transition with new baby for 2 1/2 yr. old

[Earthylady]

Help! DD is driving us all nuts. She's very much acting out since ds arrived on Saturday. Behaviors I have never seen form her before. Throwing things, begging to be held, refusing to do what we ask regardless of us using the same prompts and 123's as always, etc. I've tried spending just time cuddling with her, DH has done special things and gone special places with just her..how can I make this easier for her?

I have tried talking to her, but I don't know exactly what she's feeling, and she can't really tell me. So, it's really hard. I've tried telling her how special she is, how much I love her, etc. But, just a few minutes ago, she was begging DH to hold her cause he was burping the baby, and I told her I would love to hold her, and she said no. I couldn't get her to let me hold her at all.

Please help mommas. I don't know how to address this.

[my3babes]

:hug2
It is really hard when both need your attention. Is your dd still breastfeeding? I know that was a lifesaver for us. It helped us all relax and cut down on the sibling rivalry some. She knew one side was for her and the other was for the baby. I think it took my older kids a few weeks to get used to the baby being there, so just be patient because it does get easier. Just keep up with the extra time alone with her ( like when the baby naps) I also really liked reading to my dd when the baby was born. that way she felt involved as well (if she wasnt also nursing) Does she like to be a mommys helper? My dd loved getting involved and running to get diapers etc for me to help.

[Earthylady]

nak here :)

no, she stopped nursing a couple months ago. she has asked three times so far to nurse, and i've let her try...but she just sits there for 2 secs and then is done. i really don't think she remembers how. also, she's always loved helping, but now she refuses. absolutely flat out refuses. she's mad at me and doesn't want to have anything to do with me. i've been encouraging her to bring me books and stuff, and at first she would, but now everything is a fight. it's gotten worse since saturday. although now she is at least asking to play with baby's piggies whereas she didn't even want to touch him two days ago.

[my3babes]

my ds wanted nothing to do when my first dd was born. He just needed some time to get used to her. He really became buddies with my dh then (up until then he really didnt want much to do with dad) I think in a way he was kind of mad at me for bringing the baby home. However when dd2 was born he loved her right away. Amazing what a few years difference will do. I would just give her a little time. Try and keep the same rules and routine as much as possible, but try not to be too *hard* on her because she might take it out on the baby even more.