Counting

[SansSouci]

Another ? about my nearly 3 y/o dd.

Tonight I was putting her to bed, and she was being sooooooooooo slow. I put up with a LOT of dilly dallying, so please don't think that I just tried to rush rush rush with her. But it was time to get into her bed (to do the final part: read, sing, tuck in), and she wasn't listening/obeying. (There was a LOT of not obeying going on with the entire bedtime routine tonight.) So she refused to get into her bed, so I told her if she didn't get on her bed by the time I counted to 3, then I wouldn't be reading her books for bedtime. So I count "1" and she starts moving toward the bed. So, I didn't continue to 2... so she stops! The idea (for me) is that I just want her to do it, and I have a limit (to count to 3) that she needs to do it by. Well, she LIKES to push the limits lately. And though I don't think she was necessarily pushing the limits (maybe she was?), she was wanting to hear me count all the way to 3 while she was completing the task. I thought it was kind of me to stop counting, to respect the fact that she was moving. But she wanted me to keep counting.

Is it just a game? I just need to think of it as a playful thing that she wants me to count all the way through her completion? Because if my mom were counting me, I would prefer her to stop counting as soon as I started doing the task. KWIM?

Any tips? The line between respect (my respect for her), grace, and obedience is so hard to walk sometimes.

-Elizabeth

[slingmamaof4]

Saying "If you don't get in bed by the count of three, then I won't read you a book" is a punishment/threatening, so she may be trying to make it into a game. So I would completely avoid saying that. Instead I might say "As soon as you get in bed I can begin the story." And gesture toward her bed. Sit down next to it/on it and get ready to read.

Or you can say "It is time to get in bed and have storytime." And gently lead her to the bed.

Or if she likes you to count try saying "Can you get in bed before I count to three? One...(if she is going fast say "Look at you go!") two...You did it! You were in bed before I got to three."

Does this help at all?

[SansSouci]

Wow, EXCELLENT suggestions. You make it sound so easy. I've been trying these ideas since you posted it, and it's been going better. I also went online and bought Playful Parenting... so that'll be the next to read, after I finish Easy To Love.

Thank you!

-Elizabeth