"well that will teach him not to do that again"

[Beauty4Ashes]

I was up stairs hanging up some clothes when the phone rang. It was my younger brother, who I'd not heard anything from in a while. While talking to him, I heard my younger son cry and something falling. He was playing down stairs around the kitchen table, apparently he was trying to stand up using the back of a chair and the chair fell on him. I cried out Danny!!! Dh came to pick him up and cuddled him then handed him to me. My brother asked me what was wrong. I explained what happened and he said "that will teach him not to do that again". Danny is only 8 months old. I said to him, "what the H--- is that supposed to me? He's still a little baby and trying to learn to walk." My brother quickly changed the subject and quickly ended the call. I was so angry, I mean, this is a child who got hurt, where is the sympathy? This is his younger nephew for goodness sake. I couldn't believe how callous and heartless he was. Dh asked me who I was talking to. I said my brother. He said, I thought it was your mom. I said no, I can't believe how insensitive he is. Dh said, oh, it's all about rules, what's Danny supposed to do, just sit on a blanket and wait to be told to move? He's little, he's exploring. I know, this is not my most grace filled moment, and I didn't assign positive intent to my brother, but it just sounded so punitive to me.

[DeenyB]

That was a really hurtful thing to say about a child, especially 8 months old! I have heard that many a times from my mom about ds (she has no patience for boy behavior)!
Is he ok? Or was he just scared?
Hugs to you and your little guy! :hug

[mommy2abigail]

:hug It's hard hearing harsh words, especially from family and friends. I just recently got "Well she'll never sleep through the night if you keep catering to her. She is totally manipulating you. Three nights of crying will solve her sleep issues." and "Oooohhh look at her, what a bratty face!" (said while dd was crying because she couldn't reach something!) DD is only 11 months old. I just pass the bean dip, cause I get way too upset about it if I try and explain. "You're right, she is manipulating me, somehow I have completely fallen in love with sleeping with her! What are you doing after church on Sunday?"

[mamaKristin]

I know, this is not my most grace filled moment, and I didn't assign positive intent to my brother, but it just sounded so punitive to me. Actually, I wouldn't call what he said punitive...but rather ignorant of children. Don't beat yourself up over it or be angry at him, just get used to passing the bean dip. Although, I know it's hard to be nice when our kids get hurt. :hug

[Beauty4Ashes]

Danny baby is fine. He seems to be pretty resilient. He fell asleep nursing in my arms while I fed his big brother. They are both asleep now. I think for my brother's part it was a mix of ignorance and open mouth and insert foot. He's had zero exposure to young children, except for seeing ds1 for 10 days last year. And I think some of it is that my parents' attitudes rubbed off on him. I used to be the same way, kind of critical of parents whose children would start howling in the toys r us where i worked, or critical of the kids there begging for a quarter. Now I have my own and it's really hard work, but Danny is my teddy bear and Bashar is my tiger boy. How can I not be tender hearted to their tears and the tears of other children?

[Radosny Matka]

:no2 :hug2

[luvinmykidz]

Glad he's ok!! :heart what a stupid thing to say :td

[wombmate3]

I am wondering how old your brother is? My little one is 17 and he says rediculous things about kids all the time. I tell him to come talk to me when he has three of his own! ;)

I am so glad ds is ok! It's TOUGH learning to walk!!!!! :hug

[Beauty4Ashes]

My brother will be 26 this year. I won't say anything more, if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all...
Tammy

[milkmommy]

My DH says things like that :/. Mostly because he's speaking before thinking. In a way hes just trying to be logical and doen't get how a baby/toddler thinks and learns. Soo like you and I pull on a chair and it falls on us were likely to think.. hum that was a bad idea and not do it again he applies the same logic to our DD. Its not him being mean, Is it possiblehe just doesn't undertand babyism..
Deanna

[Beauty4Ashes]

My brother doesn't have a clue about anything

[milkmommy]

My brother doesn't have a clue about anything

:hug2 I've known people like that..
Deanna

[apmommyto4]

I'm assuming your brother doesn't have children? I know that my brother and SIL say lots of things that they "will" or "will not" do, and I just smile and know that all that will change when they have children of their own! :) They I can hand them a Dr. Sears book :heart!

[Beauty4Ashes]

Correct, my brother still lives at home, works at Jack in the box and has been at a community college for 7 years. He really needs some guidance, someone to help him find his niche, but he just kind of drifts along letting life take him whereever.

[wombmate3]

Correct, my brother still lives at home, works at Jack in the box and has been at a community college for 7 years. He really needs some guidance, someone to help him find his niche, but he just kind of drifts along letting life take him whereever.


I know this is taking the thread in a new direction, but I sense your pain on this subject. I have a brother like this (not the 17 yo one I mentioned above, my 25 yo one). His life is the opposite of what mine is. He does things in a way so far removed from my own that I can't even recognize him sometimes. Who is this man? I can't get to know him because we are so different! But I have finally come to some peace on the subject. He has to make his own mistakes and learn from them on his own and make his own decisions. He makes me really angry (he is VERY punitive with his son and girlfriend) and we don't speak much. But I have prayed to release the anger you seem to feel towards your brother, and God granted me that release. I am so sorry you are having such a hard time with this! :hugheart :pray